PARENTAL DISDAIN: WHY SOME PARENTS DON’T LOVE THEIR CHILDREN

black-and-white, boy, child

“No love for someone that is apart of you: cold-blooded.”


To believe that there are parents who don’t love their children is a shocking reality. How could you not love something that you aided in bringing into this world? But believe it or not these type of parents do actually exist. And they don’t love that child for a number reasons. The reasons could be more directed at who the kid was procreated with or even the person’s refusal to love anything outside of themselves. Whatever the case may be, we have way too many children born to parents that don’t love them. But let’s go back to the procreation with the person. What is it about this person that makes you despise your kid.

A child is the combination of two parents, the mother and the father. That combination can make the parents love this child that much more or create a relationship that is built on dysfunction. There are men who walk out on their children because every time they look in the child’s face they see the mother. And there are mothers that see the father in the face of the kid and become immediately turned off. This usually happens when the child is the opposite sex of the parent. So for fathers, he see the mother in the daughter and the mother sees the father in the boy. But no matter how you feel about the parent, is your disdain that strong, where you are turned off by the sight of the kid? Sadly it’s true, the kid represents to the parent the constant reminder of their life’s mistakes.

But why should a kid suffer because of the poor decisions of two individuals? But this is not the only way children lose out. What about the parents who are more concerned with advancing their own lives? There are career oriented parents who would much rather focus on their personal accomplishments than to actually build a lasting relationship with their children. And when you love your personal accomplishments more than you do the sound of your own child’s voice it is seen as a form of neglect. So what should happen for those that are growing up in households where the parent’s have their own lives or inner disdains?

Sadly enough, there is no law that can remove a kid from a situation. If the kid has a home, food, clothes, and not physically being abused, there is nothing legally that can be done. Hopefully that kid grows and become a productive member of society. But too often there are children who are victims of this form of neglect that step into society and harm others. Whether they turn to a life of crime or repeat the cycle and become what their parents were to them. In the end, it’s always hurtful to see the neglected children of the world. They didn’t ask to come into this world. So when they are neglected they have to navigate this world alone. And at times they navigate and are unprepared for what is to come ahead. Hopefully they don’t fall, and if so not too hard as to not recover. Because no one should have to be dealt the hand some children are dealt in society.


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PARENTAL DETACHMENT: WHY EVERYONE SHOULDN’T HAVE CHILDREN

bare feet, boy, child

“It’s a full time job that doesn’t pay; know what you’re doing.”


Growing up, I was always taught that everyone should not bring children into the world. There are young people having children when they are barely adults themselves. And there are parents of what is considered acceptable age neglecting their children because they are more concerned with their own personal lives. So where does this leave the children. It leaves them to fend for themselves in the world. But how do you fend for yourself when you have no clue how the world operates. This is the makings of a bad turnout a lot of times in life because of poor parenting. So what are the consequences?

A lot of the kids who had absentee parents find themselves locked away in prison or having troubled lives on the outside. But what is it? What is it that would make a parent walk away from their child? Just saying everyone is not meant to be a parent is not good enough. There has to be more of an explanation as to why parents are not interested in being parents. One of the reasons I came up with is the idea that a lot of these parents became parents at a young age. When their friends were still out enjoying their youth, they had to sit home with a child. So when the child gets old enough to have the slightest bit of their own lives, the parents run out and get one themselves. But the child is still in need of guidance and needs help.

But then there are the parents who are more concerned with building themselves a career. I live here in New York City, and you see so many kids with their nannies. But the parents give them a kiss on the cheek and send them on their way. They grow to have that respect for the nanny, but not the same for the parents. The parents are cultivating relationships for their career and trying to impress the boss. But they are unaware of what their kid is doing. And most of the time, the kid is off doing their own thing. These children with the nannies at times are very distant from their parents and grow to disregard things that are said to them. It’s hard being a disciplinarian when you’re not around.

But there is another group of parents, and they are the too strict and too overbearing. Their children don’t respect them, they more so fear them. And when the children grow to a certain age, they are known as, “the wild child.” You would think it’s all the kids born and raised in broken homes that are the worse. But the ones growing up in extremely strict environments can’t wait to step into society. They lose it and go crazy once they finally get a taste of freedom. That heavy reign of control over their lives left them not knowing the realities of the world.

In the end, parenting is not something you can read about in a book. They have all the titles, “Dr. Spock,” and  “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” But you will never know until that child comes home with you. You can read and follow every guide you shall choose to; but life with a child is full of curve balls. And it’s for those reasons a lot of people should not be parents.


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ADDICTED: ARE YOU A JUNKIE AND DON’T EVEN KNOW IT?

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“What is yours?”


The definition of an addict is someone who is compulsive in their need for reward, substance, or activity where the compulsive behavior leads to negative consequences. We often connect an addiction with someone that is on drugs or alcohol. But how often do we hear about people who have other addictions to things such as sex, food, work, and shopping. Most people don’t want to talk about these other issues because they are quite odd to be addicted to in life. Who wants to admit they’re addicted to food, sex, their jobs, or even buying tangibles. Well, no one, but how? How are these addictions which to the average person are normal behaviors.

Let’s start with sex for example. Sex is one of the most, if not the most natural action among humans. This is the way humans procreate as a species. So when does this natural act become an addiction. It becomes an addiction when it leads to consequences that are harmful to you or others around you. For instance, when you find yourself constantly either cheating on your significant other or exposing yourself to sexually transmitted diseases then it’s an addiction. Another form of sexual addiction is more common and that’s through the use of pornography. It causes people to be desensitized by a real sexual experience. The levels of sensitivities are so high that men, for example find it difficult to maintain erections. Women have their own dysfunctions, for example sex toys desensitize the clitoris making normal sex unsatisfying.

Yet, this isn’t the only addiction outside of drugs and alcohol. Food is an even bigger addiction than sex, drugs, and alcohol. Especially in America, we eat so much that we develop predisposed food illnesses. Illnesses that lead to depression, diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke, heart attack, and obesity. We need food for our survival, so there’s no wonder why a food addiction is so hard to kick. And when you come from a family that overindulges then you’ll find it even harder not to eat a lot. Not to mention that certain ethnics groups typically consume greater portions than others. So with something so natural, this also comes as no surprise why it as well is so hard to kick.

Now, with the prior addictions taking hold of so many people’s lives, could there possibly be any other addictions. What about your career; could this become an addiction? Absolutely, that’s where the term workaholic comes from. Especially in today’s society, we work so much that we disconnect from friends and family. Kids more than ever come home after school to an empty house because of overworking parents. We as adults neglect the people around us and fail to realize this until it’s too late. People close to us pass away, and move away. Your kids grow up and you miss out on so much that you regret later on. So make time for them now.

But is that all? Is there more addictions in life? There are, shopping is another addiction. You go how, well when you are purchasing to the point where you can’t sustain financially, then you’re out of control. People shop to be accepted into a social group or even to cover up an emotional wound. Buying new clothes give you this new feeling, even if it is minimal. We think that by buying these items that good feeling will last, but it doesn’t; it never does. In the end, addiction is a hard illness to cope with; especially if the problem is a natural overindulgence. Seeking help is tough, yet necessary when kicking any habit.


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THE FORGOTTEN ONES: THE LONESOME POPULATION OF ELDERLY IN AMERICA

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“Everybody has to get old; who will care for you?”

As we age in society most of us contemplate what will come of ourselves as we get older. Will we be able enough to care for ourselves or will we need assisted living? Will there be someone there to check in on us like a friend or family or will we be placed in a care facility? For most people, no one wants to be placed in an elderly facility. We call them, “Old Folks Homes,” and they carry so many negative connotations. From the neglect of no one coming to see them or the physical and mental abuse some endure while they are there at the hands of staff members. But what I am writing about is not just living in an assistant living facility, but the loneliness elderly people face.

Walking the streets of New York City, you see elderly men and women who have no friends and no family. And for the ones who do have loved ones, the close relatives don’t even bother coming around to visit them. So the elderly sit around bored and alone. Some who are physically unable to leave confines of their homes, so they just wither away. I read in the newspaper or even watch the news about how elderly men and women in the housing projects never leave their apartments; especially during the winter months. It’s no wonder a lot of them face mental issues or their memories diminish. There is nothing around them to keep their minds sharp. I had a grandmother (my mother’s mother) who passed away, but it was a physical ailment. Outside of that, she was an able bodied woman. As for other people her age, a lot weren’t.

But why, why do we leave the older generations not cared for, even though we ourselves have to get old one day? Do we do it because we don’t care? Or is it because we have to make a living for ourselves in today’s society? A lot of it has to do with having to live in society yourself. If you are the everyday working man or woman, you have to be out earning in society. So trying to care for a parent or other relative is tough. And with a lack of jobs, people are forced to work more now than ever. So the idea of working multiple jobs is a reality. Now you’re going to have even more people aging and left alone. I don’t think people are careless, it’s just you have to work so hard at yourself it’s tough to care for another close to you.

In the end, the aging population of men and women in America is growing because due to modern medicine people are living longer. Does that mean even more lonely and shutout citizens? The upside to all this is that we have more able bodied elderly. As a matter of fact, my mother and her sisters are considered elderly, but by their ability to be mobile they are far from it. You wouldn’t know that these are women who have officially become the elderly. Because 60 years old in the past was old, it’s still young in the world today. So maybe there is some good that could come from the new aging population.