LOVE COMES FROM SOMEWHERE: WHY DO HUMANS LOVE

Sweet Photo of Couple

“We got it; who put it there?”


WHAT IS IT?

What is love? Love is defined as a deep feeling of intense affection for someone, something, or some place. It can also go deeper a be a sexual attachment to someone. But don’t let the sexual part mislead you, or even the words intense affection. Because you can also love your friends and family as well. It is a feeling most learn at a very young age. We all know what it is, but in time we all learn to understand what its true meaning is really about in life. So, now my question is, where does it come from?

HOW DID IT GET THERE

The area of the brain that is associated with love is the striatum. This is also the area of the brain that becomes affected once someone abuses drugs. Which is why it’s so hard for addicts to kick their addiction. But I am not talking about where it comes from in the mind. My asking where does love come from is more of an evolutionary question? Because when we are born, we don’t know what love is, we’re taught love. Doesn’t matter if it’s our families or society. But if anything negative is implanted at an early age, or something traumatic enough happens to us, we can have that love disrupted. So is love evolutionary that we developed over time? Did someone place it there? Or is one of those, it is what is; something unexplained why we have it?

ANGLES 

On one end of the spectrum we have religion and on the other end we have science. Religion states that man was created in the likeness of God, and that everything about you that makes you who you are was placed there by he who created you. Then science states that over millions of years through human evolution, you came to be who you are through a series of events that took the right mixture of everything in the environment to happen.

Religion

In the beginning of time there was the heaven and Earth. Yes, this is the religious view of what love is, God created it. Religion would say that God gave you the ability to love. Placed it within you, and the fact that you found it brings you one step closer to him. And you are to use that love for God to spread it around to others who have not yet found him. So love from this angle places a spiritual belief on the affection.

Science

The Big Bang, which laid the initial foundation for what would be life on Earth. And yes, this is now the scientific reasoning for what would lead to life then love. Science would say we had love in us already, and the ability to connect to each other as a species showed how we unlocked that love. Now, to go further, the establishing of communities, raising offspring, and building meaningful intimate relationships along with connecting as a species is what helped us thrive thus far on this planet. Scientist would state that love is evolutionary, taking on meanings and changing as time went on.

MANY CHANGES

As with religion and science, both have something in common, and that is how love evolves. Love will evolve and continue to evolve. Years ago, people were saying meeting someone online for a date was scary. But now, people are getting married from online relationships. We are deep into our mobile devices, but that will change how we love as well. More people are scoping our social media as a means to get to know you rather than speaking initially to you. So as love changes, so will our world.


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MARITAL WOES: WHY IT’S TOUGH TO KEEP IT WORKING

Printer Paper Cut With Orange Scissor

“It should be easy, why not?”


I’ve heard throughout my entire life that marriage is a hard union to maintain. And that it will take a lifetime of work for you to really appreciate the person that you are with. But then I started to think about the union for a while. With the vows you take, shouldn’t marriage be an easy task to fulfill. It says to love, honor, and obey. Yet people still say that the union is hard. Is it really hard, or could it be that monogamy is not natural. Could it be that we really have other feelings and push them down in the name of societal norms. Well, let’s observe this for a minute.

To love, honor, and obey is difficult when you are not with a person you thought you would be with. We all have this person in mind that we want to be married to; this idealistic view. Then we meet someone and all of that changes. So here we are with this person, yet part of us resent. Why is it so hard to have this conversation? It’s hard because no one wants to admit that they resent something about the person they are with. You love this person, and can’t figure out why there is this internal feeling of disdain. It lies there deep inside of us because on one hand we have the societal way in which we are supposed to live. Then on the other hand, we have the nature us that is different from the societal us.

And that nature us creates other conflicts that make marriage hard as well. Because another natural reaction is that we don’t want to be around the same person for the rest of our lives. That is something which can take years to get used to. Some people can do it with ease, others struggle. Why do some struggle, it has to do with more nature. It’s normal to want your own life and space, but what about marriage and children. You sacrifice so much of yourself, especially when the kids come into play. So you feel a part of you is lost and now you want out to some extent. And that brings us to the next reason marriage is hard, the kids.

Once those kids enter the equation you have less time for you and him and more dedicated to the kids. Not to mention you are now neglecting yourself. For the most part, women have a different reaction when kids come into the equation because women carry children. But men start to feel like we are losing something as well. It can take some people time to realize they might not be losing something, but gaining something more. Then you have the parents that can’t wait to their kids are old enough to have their own lives. This way, they can be themselves again.

In the end, that’s what it boils down to; nature versus societal norms. Society wants and expects us to have a certain type of marriage. But there is no real way to maintain and make it work. You should be making up your own rules. Why are people living by this societal norm instead of what you like as a couple. And as long as people are not able to address the reasons for their marital hardships, we’ll always have issues concerning marriage leading to divorce.


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