INTO THE UNKNOWN: WHAT OUR TRUE FEARS ARE ABOUT LIVING

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“What will tomorrow bring is always scary.”


Growing up as a child, we have all these different places we see ourselves in life. We see ourselves being the top person in our career field. We see ourselves happily married with children. We see ourselves living this all-around great life, that sometimes doesn’t quite pan out that way. We see ourselves in all these positions, yet when it comes time to actually step into society, we have a hard time coming to grips with the real world. In the real world, things don’t turn out how we always plan them. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and how you deal with the adversity says a lot about who are you as a person. How will you respond if life doesn’t turn out how you thought it would turn out?

Life is not this straight path that leads to this pot of gold. You might go to school, get out, get a good job, and in a matter of months have no place of employment and no place to live. How do you deal with this when it comes your way? What do you do when face with no job and no means of survival? There is no playbook when dealing in life, this is something that happens on the fly. We have all these theories on how to deal until it happens. That’s when panic sets in, and you start to make decisions that could worsen your situation. And at that point you realize what true adulthood is all about. Your biggest fears are right in front of you. Life has eaten you up and spit you out.

It’s tough because you look at all those people around you who never work as hard as you, yet you are the one who manages to go through so much. And then you’ll find yourself asking questions as to why you have to deal with such adversity, yet the people who don’t work as hard get to coast through life. But that you don’t want, what you never want to do, is make your disdain at your situation make you angry at another person’s life. Number one, never make the assumption that their life is going well. And number two, your life could actually worsen from where it currently is because you are so focused on them. Yet it’s hard to do so when you’re going through so much.

See, in the end, that unknown that you’re entering that is life can be petrifying. Even when you are prepared to live your life, you still have fears about each and every day. You don’t know when the supervisor will come in and say, “We had to let you go.” You don’t know when a simple hospital visit could be a longer stay that reveals a terminal situation. Yet thinking about it daily will also drive you crazy. So you live, going to sleep waking up, not knowing what will come of each day. But it is also that unknown that strangely enough makes you feel alive. That makes us appreciate everyday, because after all, it could be your last: last in a relationship, last on a job, last in life.


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COPING MECHANISM: HOW WE DEAL WITH OUR OWN ENDING

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“How do you cope with your mortality?”


All of us have thought about what it would be like once we eventually pass away. But how do you properly prepare yourself for your ending is tough. No one wants to ever think that once they leave this place, this is it and that’s that. So what does most of us do; we cope. We find ways to cope with the idea of us dying one day. What are some of the ways that we cope as people so we can deal with the end of our lives? Some people live life to the fullest having fun, some people donate their time and money, while others spend their time pursuing various career endeavors.

People who live life to the fullest are the people who wake up everyday and have fun. They make sure they have enough to cover their cost of living and after that, it’s a party. They live by the ride ’til the wheels fall off type of lifestyle. Work hard and play even harder in life. This way you can have fun memories forever. This way once you reach the end of your life, you can look back and say, “Man I had a good time.” But some may say, there is more you can do with your life than just partying. There are other ways to cope with the end of your life.  What about spending your time and money to helping others in life?

These people volunteer their time to help others in a way that will not only help those in need, but also bring comfort to themselves. Another aspect of giving is the idea that giving their money is a way of coping. There is this inner feeling of euphoria that comes with helping people who are less fortunate than yourself. It’s that feeling that makes us not lose sight of why we should appreciate our own circumstance. If not for what I have been brought through it could easily have been me. So the giving up our time and money helps us look over life and say, “My time spent here is worth exiting in the end.” But is there another way that people try to cope with their end?

The third way I came up with is pursuing a career endeavor as a way to cope. This way with coping is saying to yourself, “After the lights go out, they’re out for good.” “So go for the gusto because it won’t matter after you’re gone.” These people start out at a young age working toward their goals, achieve their goals, so they can say they pursued everything they’ve ever wanted to pursue. So many people spend their days going to work coming home, and that’s it. But the career driven people spend their days chasing dreams so they can look to the end of their lives and say, “I got everything I have ever wanted.” “And now I can accept my ending.

In the end, we all have these ways of trying to cope with the end of our lives. Some deal by means in enjoying their lives, some by means of donating time and money, and others by means of focusing on a career. I, myself have mine, as with anyone else. There are many other coping mechanism, but the previous ones were just a few. Until we learn to accept our ending, then we will always find ways to cope with our mortality.

PERPENDICULAR WORLDS: GOING TO SCHOOL IN ONE ENVIRONMENT AND LIVING IN A DIFFERENT ONE

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“Growing up in two worlds can he tough.”


Growing up going to school in one environment, but living in another can be a positive and a negative experience. For me, this was the case as well as my sisters in our lives. But unlike our small city life, when you live in major metropolitan city, the adjustment can be quite interesting. Where you have a kid that might be growing up in a housing project and going to school elsewhere. I see it all the time in New York City. Kids going to school at some academy while the other kids go to public schools. And the tough part is if you grow up as a poor child. Well, what are the good things or bad things that can come from living in two worlds?

On the positive side, you get a chance to see kids growing up in a world that is foreign to you. And when I say foreign, it’s you know kids have means above you, but not like what you’re witnessing. It gives you something to strive for, unlike the kids who grow up in your neighborhood. They’re going to schools where graduating from high school is a blessing. You’re not expected to do much after that. At the academy, you are asked your plans for the future in as early as elementary school. Kids in the academic environments of private institutions skills are cultivated at young ages. Since expectations are so low in poor areas, kids are forced to feel out life as time goes on.

But, are their any negatives in seeing so much that you don’t have access to society. The downside is that you grow to have so much resentment with the idea of so few having so much, and so many having nothing. You can’t understand as a child why your environment is in so much turmoil. Another obvious issue you run into while living in these two worlds is that the ethnic makeup of the children. A lot of poor areas in New York City are predominantly Latino and African American, while the groups who retain more economic influence are Jewish, East Asian (Chinese, Japanese, Korean), and Southwest Asian (Indian). Your inner circle may create a bind with the people in your community and yourself.

In the end, that’s the hardest part of living in the two worlds. You lose a connection to the people in your community. Even though you live in a neighborhood, you’re actually more likely to make friends with kids you’re in school with; why? Well, because you’re in school the majority of the time. You meet kids in your neighborhood on the fly. And that loss of connection will start to make you question the environment where you live. People in the community live life as normal, but you know the other side. You’ve seen the top 15%, or %10, or even 1%. You will grow to have a stronger work ethic, yet at the same time, you may become detached from your immediate community.

SO UNFAIR, YET OH SO FAIR: WHAT DOES LIFE REALLY MEAN?

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“What is your meaning of it?”


Life is unfair! I finally got life figured out! Life sucks! These are the statements that people make when asked about life. So many say that you have to live your whole life to actually figure it out. But do you really need your entire life to figure out life. But let’s be clear about something regarding what really is life. Are you talking the living or talking just life in general? Because we use this interchangeably, but both have different meanings. The word life is existing, it’s what I am doing in this moment typing. Or it’s what you’re doing in the moment reading this topic. But the idea of living on this planet is a whole other ball game. So what is so tough about life on Earth?

Well, for starters, let’s observe what life is. As a life form, we are Carbon based that has taken just over one million years to fully evolve. We’re still evolving, but the change is something we can’t take notice to in the present state. Our life expectancy is 40 years of age, but due to scientific research we live to be 78 years of age.  So to say that life is not fair, just does not resonate with me. What is so unfair about the idea that humans only have a one in seven million chance of life anyways. And if you don’t know what I mean by one in seven million, only one sperm will fertilize an egg in seven million. With those odds, life is a great existence. Now, on the other hand life is hard and life is unfair.

But let’s observe what it means to have a hard life. You wake up every morning, and go to your day job. After work, you come home eat and watch television. Monday through Friday is your routine, then Friday evenings you hang out. Saturdays are lounge or errand days, while Sundays prepare you for Monday. The majority of people on Earth will live like this until they die. So to them, an existence might be rather mundane. But that only tells me the their daily regimen. What about if they have utilities piling up, rent to pay, mortgages, loans, and personal expenses. The average person struggles financially, meaning you’re more than likely not working a job you like. And this is where the saying life is unfair comes into play.

But let’s pause for a second. This in itself only tells me people’s hardships. It does not explain why life is unfair. That’s because in reality life is not unfair; life is very fair, too fair to be real about it. What is unfair is the aspect of dealing with people. If every human on Earth vanished and you were the only one left, what would be your hardest struggle. A lot of people would say survival. But you now have unlimited fruits, vegetables, water, resources for shelter and clothing. How can life be a struggle? Because people regulate food and water. I live near the Atlantic Ocean, and if I were hungry and needed food, it would be a crime to fish from the water. So most people would say life isn’t fair. But life is the waters, life is the sea life. There is nothing unfair about that. It’s people who established a gaming commission so I can’t fish.

In the end, we feel that so much around us is unfair. Yet the Earth has an abundance of resources. The fact that you don’t have the access is not that life is unfair. People have created means of making it virtually impossible to gain access to those resources.  So the way to thrive throughout life is not to think of life as unfair. But if you can manage to navigate the minefield that is us, humans on Earth, then you’ll be fine.