YOU DON’T NEED ME, SO BYE: WHY DO MEN LEAVE WOMEN FOR RISING ABOVE

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“Why sometimes our equal could be a turnoff.”


Men are protectors, we are providers, especially when it comes to the women in our lives. But what happens when that woman is not only a provider, but she is just as bossed-up as you? We always say in public how we love ourselves a single independent woman, but to a large degree, we love to have women that need us. And when I say need us, I don’t mean needy. There is a difference between need and needy. The needy is more clingy and can’t leave your side which tends to be quite irritating. But the need would be something as little as changing a tire or paying for a meal at a restaurant. Because we are raised from a young age these are the things you are supposed to do for the women in your life.

Yet in today’s society, women are in more privileged positions than they were in the past. Yet unlike the past, they are having a harder time finding love. Why, is it because the access to quality men has lessoned? No, it’s because there are so many men who feel, “Oh, she has everything together already, she doesn’t need someone like me.” “A man like me would be more suitable for a women who could use the help.” Meaning, a woman who is a teacher would need the guy more than the woman who is a boss like an Oprah Winfrey. We look at Oprah and say, “Why would you need a guy, you have everything under control already.”

And that is what causes the disconnect. Because we as men look at finances as this end all. When a woman is of financial means, we look at her as being both man and woman. She is a man because she is bossed-up, but a woman because of the obvious. So I don’t think guys are intimidated by her success. So many of us look at her like, she has the situation herself, we need to be with the woman who could use the help. What help do you need if you are already in the position that we seek to fill. Now women on the other hand don’t see the situation as such. To them, they could use someone in their lives just as much as the woman not on her level.

To her, if she is a boss, it gives her more reason to need the relationship. The relationship serves as the stable environment outside the hectic world of her business career. To her, you can’t put a price on relationships, yet on the other hand it’s what we are as men. Because in the end, we are raised to be productive as men. Money is not everything, but a financial contribution is a major reason why men introduce ourselves into the lives of women. Being a financial provider is a major aspect of how we define manhood. Making money means, the mortgage, rent, utilities, food, transportation, clothes, healthcare, travel/leisure, education, and care for kids. It’s an entirety that makes us want to be men of financial means. So when women already have it, we feel her life is already filled.


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FREEDOM: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU

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“Options!”


The above photo is of the Statue of Liberty that was given to us as a present from France. And since that point and time it has stood as one of our monuments in America that is a representation of freedom. So my question to you is, what does freedom mean to you? Would you say you’re living the life that you thought you would always be living? Or have the life yet to come into existence for you? Maybe you fall under the third option, the American dream has never and will never live in your heart. For me, the idea of the American dream is the ability to choose to go to work everyday. Meaning, I can make a conscious decision to not do anything today and tomorrow, that is freedom for me. Another aspect of the American dream is financial.

And for me, the financial American dream for me is living an Upper Middle Class life. The perfect income for me would fall in the range of $250,000 – $500,000 for me to live comfortably. Meaning everything that I have always wanted falls under this yearly income bracket. So for me, a middle class life is survival, and a dream falls in the prior range. And with that said, a lot of people never meet their expectations and live out their entire lives unhappy with their personal and financial position. Other aspects of the dream such as marital and parental could also be a dream for you as well. For me at least, marital and parenting goals are not the least bit of a priority in life. So all in all, single, upper middle class, and the ability to choose to wake up everyday and not having to is the dream.

Now, when observing the landscape of America, we all have something we consider the dream life. And for most people, you hear what they want, and middle class is just fine. For others they need to have a private plane, yacht, with a mansion, and amenities. And that is the just of the American dream, it is open to whoever is interpreting what the dream is to them. No one person can define what that dream is, even we like to at times. But when you look at the landscape of America today, it seems like that dream is dying out. A dream that so many lived is now taking a new form that many are starting to see as eluding them. Can the idea of that American dream ever return again? Because in the end, if the idea of the dream is lost, the identity that has made America special will die as well. And thus the country going into a state of degradation.


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