COPING MECHANISM: HOW WE DEAL WITH OUR OWN ENDING

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“How do you cope with your mortality?”


All of us have thought about what it would be like once we eventually pass away. But how do you properly prepare yourself for your ending is tough. No one wants to ever think that once they leave this place, this is it and that’s that. So what does most of us do; we cope. We find ways to cope with the idea of us dying one day. What are some of the ways that we cope as people so we can deal with the end of our lives? Some people live life to the fullest having fun, some people donate their time and money, while others spend their time pursuing various career endeavors.

People who live life to the fullest are the people who wake up everyday and have fun. They make sure they have enough to cover their cost of living and after that, it’s a party. They live by the ride ’til the wheels fall off type of lifestyle. Work hard and play even harder in life. This way you can have fun memories forever. This way once you reach the end of your life, you can look back and say, “Man I had a good time.” But some may say, there is more you can do with your life than just partying. There are other ways to cope with the end of your life.  What about spending your time and money to helping others in life?

These people volunteer their time to help others in a way that will not only help those in need, but also bring comfort to themselves. Another aspect of giving is the idea that giving their money is a way of coping. There is this inner feeling of euphoria that comes with helping people who are less fortunate than yourself. It’s that feeling that makes us not lose sight of why we should appreciate our own circumstance. If not for what I have been brought through it could easily have been me. So the giving up our time and money helps us look over life and say, “My time spent here is worth exiting in the end.” But is there another way that people try to cope with their end?

The third way I came up with is pursuing a career endeavor as a way to cope. This way with coping is saying to yourself, “After the lights go out, they’re out for good.” “So go for the gusto because it won’t matter after you’re gone.” These people start out at a young age working toward their goals, achieve their goals, so they can say they pursued everything they’ve ever wanted to pursue. So many people spend their days going to work coming home, and that’s it. But the career driven people spend their days chasing dreams so they can look to the end of their lives and say, “I got everything I have ever wanted.” “And now I can accept my ending.

In the end, we all have these ways of trying to cope with the end of our lives. Some deal by means in enjoying their lives, some by means of donating time and money, and others by means of focusing on a career. I, myself have mine, as with anyone else. There are many other coping mechanism, but the previous ones were just a few. Until we learn to accept our ending, then we will always find ways to cope with our mortality.

EXCEPTING YOUR END: HOW WE COPE WITH DEATH

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“Are you really ready for the end?”


For the longest, people have tried to find methods of coping with the idea that we as people will eventually meet our demise. No one, no matter how long you live, is ready for the time when they will die. We all love existing and hate even thinking about a world where we don’t exist. So for thousands of years we have sought to try to understand something. Anything that will point us in a direction leading to our end. Religion has its viewpoint and science has its viewpoint. But even with both views, all of us walk away with the same feeling. We either fear dying and/for we don’t want to die.

Well why, why do we fear the end of our lives. None of the past frightens us, yet we are totally afraid of all the future. Me my self, I was not afraid of the year 1920 so why am I afraid of the year 2120. I won’t be around which creeps me out. But what will happen once we leave this Earth. Is there a collection of energy that goes somewhere, or do we past and that is it? Do we ascend to heaven as the bible speaks about, or do we disintegrate to nothingness? The idea of this being the end for so many people is scary. But how do we cope with the idea of an ending. Let’s look at a few ways people cope with themselves passing away.

The bible is written about us ending and going to heaven. Once we die in this world, we pass along into another. The Christian text calls it the land of milk and honey. In the Lord’s house there are many mansions. This sounds great if you’re a person of the Christian faith. Furthermore, if you belong to any other group, they have their own beliefs regarding the end of life. Yet there are the skeptics. These are the people who come into the loop and present to the world their alternative facts. To them they have a more scientific means of explaining the end of ones’ life.

The science community aims at looking at humans as a carbon based life form that will come to an end as well. Unlike the religious community, science theorizes that nothing supernatural happens as the body dies. Carbon is released from our bodies like any other dead organism back into the atmosphere just as with plants and animals. This is of benefit to us and any other plant and animal life on Earth. So, to them, this is it, so make the best of it. Because when the lights go out, they’re out for good. Anything other than that is seen as nonsense and should be viewed as such.

In the end, what will it take to get people to cope? Will there ever come a time when people can cope with their end? Or will we forever be locked in our emotions about what happens after we die on this Earth? There is one thing that people everywhere can agree upon. Is that this body we call ours will not be here forever. And I don’t mean just me in the moment. I mean the Earth as we know it has an expiration date. Eventually the universe will reach maximum growth before it ends itself. And that’s life, everything has a beginning and an end. How all of ours will turn out is unknown. So for now, we live. Go to sleep and wake up, until the day comes where those eyes won’t open again.

TRANSCENDENTAL SEDUCTION: OUR BELIEFS VERSUS OUR LOGIC

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“Which do you fall under?”


In the world we live in today, we have the two sides with conflicting beliefs as to how we as humans came about. There is the side of the science and side of the religion. Science aims at knowing the truth as to the beginning and those of faith seek to have a belief in to how their beginning started. I grew up in a Southern Baptist family, even though I reside from the Midwest. My family came to the Midwest back in the 1940’s from Mississippi. And since then, the belief has not changed. That is until the next generation steps forward. Now, all sorts of questions tend to arise as to who is more in alignment with the beginning. Or not just the beginning, but why we need a faith base.

Well, before we observe the reasons why people believe in a higher power, how come you need more. And when I say more, I mean another life after this one. If you observe humanity, upon ejaculation, seven million sperm is expelled from the male genitalia. Of the seven million, only one will fertilize the egg. And by one, I mean one, not one million or one hundred thousand; just one. Now, even when that one sperm reaches the egg, there’s no guarantee it will fertilize the egg. Yet if it does, from that period until her ninth month, so much can happen that will keep birth from happening. Yet a child is born, and you live through childhood. You live through adulthood, and middle age, while the human body is only built to live 40 years.

The average human lives to be 78 years of age, but due to scientific breakthroughs, we are living longer. Now, with all that said, religion says there is an afterlife. Science would not only disagree, but would call that selfish. The fact that you are here and the chain of events to get you here, shouldn’t we accept this as it? Why is it so hard to accept this as the final when we have beat so many odds? A lot of non-religious people just don’t understand why you need more. But people of the religious side would say different. They would look at the chain of events to get you here as accepting this as it.

In the religious communities, they feel that the chain of events that got you here is pure, yet you’re merely passing through. Passing through this world and heading on to something better. And this temporary housing place will be the place you will be judged for your spot in the afterlife. Now, me explaining it like that would cause scientist to dismiss my claims. Yet if you are one of the religious communities, you have a deeper faith in the belief. You see, the transcendental theory, points to people who feel a certain way, something must be that way. Meaning I see the bible, feel it, believe it, therefore it is real. Science goes, there is a world out there, bigger than myself, that I don’t know about.

In the end, we have a hard time in seeing that this life is it. It’s hard to accept that belief because depending on your quality of life, it can be difficult. The other reason is we lose people close to us, and have high hopes of seeing them again. So knowing this is it is a thought ignored by the masses. For the time being at least, there is still a conflict between the science and the religious.

RELIGION GONE BYE BYE: MILLENNIALS DEPARTURE FROM RELIGION

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“Why are young people moving from religious to non-religious?”

I read articles on a regular that talk about how religion is losing it’s place in American society. Everyone has their viewpoint on why, but there isn’t just one reason. But this topic is why are the young generations moving away from it at such a rapid pace? Even a community as deeply rooted as the African American community, there still seems to be this disconnect. I have a number of reasons I can think of just off the top of my head. Lose of religious belief comes from: the information age, religion’s grip on society, and the willingness to always expect forgiveness.

The information age has played a large role in the decline of religion. In our parents generation they knew little. But the fact that we know more makes us curious about things that are readily available. Things that we were taught are not possible are really possible. Meaning, our parents would tell us, keep living life you’ll see. But with so much information readily available, we don’t have to wait until we get their age. We get it all now, what took them into their middle age to get, with the click of a button, we can grasp hold of everything that took them decades to learn. So we feel and think old in our youth. Which forces us to now ask questions about beliefs that contradict each other. Contradictions can really effect religion because the more contradictions the more it seems less deity and more man driven.

But it’s not all information, what about the role it has in the control of our lives. I remember when Kim Davis, city clerk refused to issue a marital license for a gay couple because she said them getting married was against her belief. But the idea that a woman don’t have to fact check with you before making a decision concerning your life is troubling. A young demographic says fine, believe what you want, but interfering with others lives is problematic. But there is some fear in people like Kim Davis that was exposing. Because for one, the Confederate flag flies in Kentucky. I highly doubt that’s of Christian sentiment. But also, she exposed her own doubt. Because if her belief was real you don’t intervene, let God deal with it. What she fears is the idea that everything she believed was a lie. She was raised that’s not possible. So seeing that’s possible puts her faith in question. And that’s why people want control because you don’t want your faith in question by your own self.

But a lot of people say love and forgive her. Which brings me to my next theory which is the forgiveness. Is there ever a time to not forgive? Are we expected to say let God deal with it all the time? The expectations to constantly say, “I forgive you, I forgive you,” has become way too expected. The police officer in the shooting death of South Carolina man Walter Scott was caught up in a mistrial. But he was on tape clearing killing Walter, an unarmed man. But Walter’s mom came on TV and spoke God and the Bible. Some loved it, but there was an age push back. Because young Blacks were not as forgiving. The idea that someone can take a life and nothing, you just wake up each day and deal has become seen as irrational.

In the end, whether you agree with why it’s declining, it’s rapidly going away. Especially as science gets better and better. Religion is regional in its creation (meaning the stories are of the region of their time) and constant, but the world changes; and man gets smarter. The smarter we get the more irrational religion becomes. But there is a passage that is interesting about such changes in the bible. “He who increases knowledge, increases sorrow on the land.” The smarter we become the more religion disappears, but the more we become slaves to a new vulnerability.

PREPARATION: HANDLING DEATH OF LOVED ONES

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“Are you ready?”

Most people take for granted that their loved ones will be here every single day. Are any us prepared for the loss of a relative? Are you ready for your child or parent to leave? I know asking about such a tough subject conjures up so many feelings. But the question is still open for being ready. But ready for what? We know that no one is ready to lose anyone, but what should you really be preparing for. You should be preparing for the cost associated with burying them, the emotional stress that comes with losing them, paying any debts the person left behind, and the moving on process.

Well, how should you ready yourself for when the person dies when burying this person. And I don’t mean burying them, I mean the cost associated with the death. Do you have the money in your will? Do you come from a family that could pay for a death? This is the initial problem people run in to if who are from a family that does not have the means. It can cost thousands of dollars to bury a relative. But that’s a lot of money for middle class to pay for, not to mention poor people.

But what about other financial concerns such as the debt that is associated with people who pass away. You see, their issues are over because they’re deceased and yours as their family is about to start. Why because if they have any outstanding debts you could be the heir to that debt. So hey, watch what you sign thinking the person has money in their will. You might wind-up in debt yourself trying to pay off their debts. Trust and believe that emotional loss could go away fast once you find out that person owes a boatload of money to debtors. But wait a minute, what about other problems associated with being ready for someone’s death.

What about the emotional concerns that come with hearing the initial news. How did we forget to include this one. How do you process the information that you have just heard? Sorry for your loss. Sorry, uh is that all sorry. I just lost someone close to me and that’s all I get is a sorry. But what can they say? But what about the person who breaks the news that you’ve lost your relative? Trust and believe that it makes them uncomfortable as well. So where do you go from here, which leads into the next concern of readiness.

The last stage would be the moving on process. How do you move on in the case that a person dies who is close to you? The day after the funeral, you might have to go to work. How do you deal with getting your life back in track? If you lose a cousin, aunt, or uncle, maybe it’s easier to move forward. But in the case of a  parent or even a child, it’s a lot harder to move forward. In the end, there is a preparation for death that is necessary. But how do you tackle this issue if the person is not sick. Whatever the case, you have to prepare because you never know what could come of the situation.

Fear: The Black Community and Our Fear of God

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“What really scares us?”

When I think about my life growing up in the Black church, I have always wanted to know why we believed so heavily. You’re taught your whole life to never question God. But how does one fully believe in something unless they are willing to challenge their belief? Whether raised under the belief or not, you believe in something because someone tells you not out of choice. Meaning my grandparents are Christian, but why my parents? When you ask the question why, some people are lost because they have no reason why they believe in something.

Well then, why as Black people are we so wrapped in Christianity? Or better yet, why are we so afraid at the idea of challenging God? And, why do we fear the idea of him not existing? We believe in God like everyone else because you were born into the religion. Which is the most obvious reason why someone has a religious belief. If your mother and father are both Christian, you’re going to lean toward Christianity because it’s what you were raised under. It’s hard to connect to Islam or Judaism because you only know Christianity.

But as a person in each of these religions, shouldn’t you know something about the other? How do you say that as a Christian my job is to show you how Christ worked for me, yet you’re not willing to understand the person’s belief you’re trying to connect with. Now this can mean the same for any other religion as well. Meaning, since when has a Christian done anything for a Jew or Muslim that is of the Christian way without a Jew or Muslim having to jeopardize their way of life.

So there you have it, follow not only what you’re born under, but don’t truly connect to others. But what’s the other reason Black people are so wrapped in Christianity? Well, look at the fear aspect of even challenging God. Where does that come from? Oh, now that’s a lot more historical. Black people as Christians and everyone else is different in the sense of our fear of challenging comes out of subjugation. There was an interesting scene in the movie, “12 Years A Slave.” When Michael Fasbender’s character says obey your master, and that is law.

The idea that challenging God is the same as challenging your master during slavery. We are one the only group of people where the biblical text was used psychologically to keep us in line. I don’t know much about biblical history, but American history if we got out of line during slavery you could be lashed or even killed. Knowing that God’s punishment is more severe because he sits atop of the slave master, their’s no secret why we could be kept in line for so long. It’s the reason why when I hear elderly Black men and women talk about their fear of God, it is nearly 100% correlated with the subjugation.

Which brings me to why we fear his non-existence. Black people’s history in America has been so grave, that we can’t possibly imagine a God not existing. How could there be no punishment for our historical relationship in America? You mean to tell me we could be treated the way we have been treated and that’s it, it is what it is? The idea that it’s just a big oh well, and man can systematically do that and get away with no one to answer to could lead to some serious problems. Can you imagine 100% proof of God’s non-existence, problems that would take place in society.

Because that would mean man not only is given free will, but after making a decision concerning others lives there is no repercussion. Meaning someone could destroy lives and go oh well move on with no recourse. So maybe religion is a good thing that even if people don’t believe, it’s what keeps chaos from taking place. Black people can’t stomach this is it. I’m not saying we would cease to exist, but their would be a lot of social issues. In the end, Black people are going to continue to stay wrapped within the Christian faith, but the division that’s causing a lot of the young Black males and females to leave the church is jeopardizing that faith base.

Heavenly Thoughts

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You ever really wonders what happens after we die?


When we die the held belief is that the soul leaves the body and ascends to the heavens. As we reach the gates of heaven, we will be judged over the span of our lives. Judged on our good deeds as well as our bad. And hopefully we have more good things in life that God approves of than bad. We all dream of those gates opening, and walking right on through as we meet and greet those who died before us. We will see our friends and families who have waited our arrival. We will embrace and reminisce about the times we spent together. Only this time we are able to spend an eternity together. Imagine that, eternal life together and not a care nor worry. A place in which we all feast and not one person goes to sleep hungry. Enough water to quench the thirst of a multitude of people and in this kingdom everyone will have a mansion. Well all of these beliefs are what we come to know as religious and/or spiritual happenings. No matter what religion you belong to, they all have to some degree an ideology about what happens as we leave this world and pass on into another. But have you ever asked yourself, what if? What if there isn’t another place and this is it? What if the bible is merely a way to live your life here on earth? What if heaven is the here and now? How would this effect people on earth?

For the longest we as humans seek to understand the afterlife, but let’s say this is it. Let’s assume heaven is this inner peace one must have to live here. Well, that means whatever a human experiences here on earth is what their ultimate existence will be. Why is that so difficult for people to come to terms with in regards to death? Why can’t we accept this as it? Why must we feel special about ourselves? One of the reasons being that people treat each other with such disrespect, with such disdain. We live on earth day-to-day with so many struggles that make living on this planet difficult. Man has set up society by putting into place various forms of living such as democracies, caste systems, as well as other forms of governmental and social order of structuring society. This is very unfair, why should I have to be born into an unfair world? Why is life unfair?

Well, life is fair people aren’t. Life gives everyone water to drink and air to breathe. Humans have found a way to regulate the water and air we breathe which makes life unfair. There is enough water on earth for all of humanity, but we waste it, we regulate, we consume it at levels of more than we need. Reasons such as these aim to understand why people can’t believe that this is all we have in this world. Once a person feels this is it, there is a complete lack of motivation. Logically, it would make sense to not move anywhere in life if you know this is it. That’s why religion is important, religion tends to be viewed as the reason to do anything. If you are from poverty and there is no belief in an afterlife what is the real reason to do anything. The only individuals who will get upset are those that fall in the category of the haves; have nots aren’t interested in progressing. So even the most atheist of people realize the need for religion. Man is an archaic species who needs to look outside of ones’ self because we have not yet learned to depend on each other. The closer we come to each other, the less man feels we need religion because we feel we don’t need anything greater than what’s on earth.

Overall, in my opinion the belief in God will never go away. The more advanced we get the further we’re actually getting from each other. Technology has made us more distant than ever. No one makes eye contact with the other person, we all stare down at our phones. With such impersonal behavior, need for something outside of self is relevant more than ever. So either people will be closer to God, or weather away into nothingness. So now, until whenever, people will remain close to a higher power until they are proved wrong or something happens that changes their outlook.