SHARING FEARS: WHAT ARE MINE AND HOW DO I DEAL WITH THEM

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“We all run from something.”


Author Marianne Williamson has a very well-known passage in her book The Return of Love regarding our deepest fears. And she states that, “It’s not that we are inadequate, it’s that we are powerful beyond measure.” We don’t want to think that we are less than at sometime in life, then to realize we were destined for greatness in that thing. But what I would like to open up about are my own personal fears. And the top three fears of mine: dying destitute and poor, not attaining my goals, and monogamous relationships. Fears that have plagued me since I was a young child all the way into my adult years.

Well, let’s first start by looking at my first in life. My first fear of dying broke and destitute is number one. So much so, that even as a kid I thought growing poor my life would never change. And now that I am an adult, I see abandoned, adult, black-and-whitehomeless people walking the streets of New York City. They converse with themselves. They have no friends and no family, but most of all, having to come to terms with sleeping in the city streets. What reality that must be, that wow, I am about to fall asleep for the first time on a park bench or in the subway system. What must that feel like that first night with no roof over your head. And that fear has made me not want to really enjoy too much of life because you just never know.

Which leads into my next fear; and that is the fear of not attaining my goals. I can go out, and get a job, work until my retirement, but that’s not good enough. There are career interests that I have, that are not quite conventional. But if not successful at them, very little in life is worth doing. I am not interested in a lot of stuff people in my age group are interested in. I black wallpaper, black-and-white, boxerdon’t mind working on my indie projects and making $50,000 to $60,000 a year. I could easily rise in a corporate atmosphere and make well beyond that amount. But it’s not the title or the climb in an organization. It’s the ability to have a voice and say what I want and get paid to do so.

As far as my relationship phobias, I have multiple ones. They are phobias such as: fear of having to compromise, fear of rejection, fear of infidelity, fear of having to connect, and fear of failure. These have kept me from pursuing a relationship since the age of 16 years old all the way to now I am about to be 30 years old. As much as my previous passage about fear of not achieving exist, I still push forward. To be Image result for rejectionhonest, I don’t even think about the fear of failure in career endeavor. Mainly because I was raised at such a young age to pursue, it’s normal now. For example, my first short film was not that great, and I already working on the crowdfunding for my next one. It’s not even a thought at times because it has become such a norm. Yet when seeking relationships, it has not been a pursuit of mine. So now it seems odd to do so.

In the end, we all have these crazy fears. But conquering your fears is a lot easier said than done. You try your best to persevere past them, but they’re there. And maybe that is a nature thing put inside of us to keep us safe. Only problem with being safe is that I don’t want safe. Vulnerability is a very intriguing trait that I like. I don’t want to be homeless, but I am chasing a career path that could lead to that. I don’t want to fail at my goals, yet I am actively attaining them. I don’t want to not have a relationship, but I am pushing to set myself up for monogamy. So let me ask you something, how do you take on your fears?


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A NATION IN PERIL: WHAT AMERICA MUST DO MOVING FORWARD

Boy Looking at the Hole

“When did we become a nation of fear?”


Recently, there was a terrorist attack in an arena in the United Kingdom after an Ariana Grande concert. Nearly two dozen were killed and many more were injured. What this did was put the United States on high alert with regards to our arenas, stadiums, airports, etc. This, on top of an already nervous country scared as it pertains to the future of our nation. So what is it; how has America turned into this nation of fear? We used to approach situations with confidence, now everything is based off of fear. We used to have fight, now we find any reason not to fight. I have a few reasons as to why this might be.

For decades, America has pride itself on being a strong economy. But due to factory jobs being shipped overseas and an economic downturn, a lot of people have lost confidence. And with that loss in confidence, people have become scared for their futures. All coupled with the ever rising issues pertaining to Islamic extremists groups. Now in American society, we base so much on fear. Every time you turn on the news it is a constant rotation of how afraid you should be. Airports blar alarm systems that test our capabilities of being ready in case of an attack. It’s starting to feel like the 1940’s through the 1950’s. How school children used to have to hid under desk and in closets because we thought the Soviets would drop a nuke on America.

Now here we are in the United States today, once again, afraid for our lives. But, we are not afraid for our lives at the same time. We are not afraid of a foreign enemy, we’re afraid of our future here in this country. And the terrorist just adds to the already fear for our future. So with the industrial revolution running its course and limited jobs, as well as a divisive political landscape, we have all these fears. One the other hand, there is actually a lot more money to be made and the threat of terror will always be there. So what should the country do to get ourselves out of this rut we are in as a nation.

Number one, people must admit that we are in a rut. We must admit we are not like we used to be. Another aspect of getting out of our rut, is to eliminate this fear inside. And it comes from the attacks globally. America should be able to look these men engaging in terror in the eyes and threaten retaliation if they attack us. Do it, and be righteous. I’m not saying we should be violent, but we have to protect ourselves as well. But most of all, America is socially ruined and is in need of some serious repair. In the end, we have to find a way to bring that fight back into the country. Move past these petty differences, and propel ourselves forward into a nation of success.


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UNLOCKING TALENTS: EVERYONE HAS THEM YET FEW UTILIZE THEM

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“Why most of us will miss the opportunity.”


When we are all born, it’s hard to gauge what we’re going to be as adults. But nonetheless, I think we all have something that we are born with that makes us not only us, but could make us successful. Unlocking this means having some level of self-awareness. When you become self-aware, then you’re able to unlock this inner talent. In addition to unlocking this inner talent, one must also work at this talent to define greatness. So why don’t we have more people who are able to become successful in life? Better yet, why are so many people unable to tap into this inner talent that we possess? And to me, a lot of it has to with fears.

That’s right fears! I know we always hear the same thing over and over again. You work hard, but what does that really mean? You can work 10 hours a day, 7 days per week, for years and not attain what you work toward. To me, what is for you is for you. You shouldn’t pursue the dream, but the reality instead. Meaning just because we want to do something does not mean it is for us. It may not be that inner talent you possess. And most people are wired to conform out of fear; fear of failure is major and fear of letting others down. We don’t want to try something, fall and not be able to get back up. So we live in a trance in our daily lives until we die. Hoping something will happen, a stroke of luck that will set us free.

But the fears are so detrimental because if actually pursued what you were meant to do, it could actually create a positive externality in society. For example, you want so dearly to be an actress, but you are a wiz at science. You could go on to become the Meryl Streep of physicians. Who knows, it could formulate into a Nobel Prize for Science. But we become afraid, or disinterested in that thing that resonates with us. You have people who become school teachers who are better litigators, or engineers who could be the next Vincent van Gogh. Missing the opportunity to unlock that talent is of great tragedy.

It’s a tragedy because people look at the top people in their field or another field and say, “How did you do it?” As if you’re this special human on Earth. The reality is they unlocked their talent because they are self-aware. It’s hard to describe because it is a non-verbal oh, ok moment. What do I mean by non-verbal oh ok. Meaning, something will happen in life that you will come in contact with, and you go, “Oh,” or you say to yourself, “Oh, ok, this is what this is.” It’s how your brain processes information. Once you realize how your brain processes information, you will become more self-aware. Then your thing, or talent will unlock on it’s own. Then people will say, “How did you do that?” It will be hard to described. You will want to explain, but it becomes difficult because unlocking that thing can be natural. Natural occurrences can be tough to explain at times how to perform.

In the end, talents are something all people in life possess. Yet so many miss their window to capitalize. For a lot of people it’s fear of pursuing out of failure or letting down others. But when you waste your talent you let down more people than if you don’t pursue. You let down a potential generation that could take a cue from you and build from there. But then there are the people who never unlock their inner knowledge. They spend their entire lives not knowing themselves. So they are unable to succeed in life and ultimately die not knowing and not going anywhere.


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FEAR OR RESPECT: WHICH CARRIES THE MOST WEIGHT

 

“Which would you rather have?”


In life, there are people who want to be respected and others who want to be feared. Why would someone want the need to be respected? But also, who would want people to fear them? Shouldn’t we want people to love us? There are many different reasons as to why people need to be viewed as such. Fear is a feeling that last longer, so you have those that want this feeling because it last longer. On the other hand respect from people is love and it’s real. And when people love you, you can do no wrong. So, is there an upside to being one over the other?

What about fear, is there good in being feared? This typically works for conflicting nations. If you are a leader of a country you might want a little fear. It will make people think twice before they attack your country. Being respected is fine, but you’re not going to always be dealing with countries that respect you. So there are times you must be tougher. What you don’t want to be considered is a pushover because you don’t want to cause a conflict. Not everyone want to be reasoned with, so being tougher is necessary to deal with them.

Now, on the other hand, what about respect. What about leading life by being respected. People who respect you also carries weight as well. When you are respected,there comes a sense of trust and love you can’t get through fear. People who respect you will trust you with their children. A person you fear can be nowhere near you. You only deal with them for certain reasons. Reality about fear is that when feared people no longer serve a purpose in being feared we cut them quick. So, we actually react in a very adverse way to fear.

In the end, both fear and respect has its effects. Both are necessary depending on the situation. Fear is good when you are dealing with people seeking to harm others in society. And respect is necessary when trying to gain the trust of people. To me, fear last longer on Earth. Yet after we die, we are judged on this feeling from people. History will judge us on this feeling from people. Trust and believe it will judge us and it won’t be kind.