FEAR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU MIGHT REALLY MIGHT HAVE A FAILURE TO LAUNCH

Success Text Write on Beach Shore

“What is to come of this all?”


making it big

We all think of making it big in our careers. But what happens when you are more afraid of getting success out of your career than actually failing? Because the failure is a guarantee in life. We are all going to fail in our ventures. But not everyone is going to be successful in what they set out to accomplish. And it’s because failing is so guaranteed that we are not truly afraid. Yet when you succeed you see what it has done to so many others in the same position. That crash of their success leaves us terrified to even pursue.

having it and losing it all

The phrase having and losing it is a lot more hurtful than never having it at all is a popular statement. Because we have an idea of what it means to be of means financially. But for the chosen few who have actually been in the position it hurts more to lose all of it. No one wants to work their entire lives just to lose everything they have ever worked for in life. Because now you have to live out your life knowing what it was truly like on the other side. And that hurts because for those on the other side, coming back to where you used to be is difficult. Because now you have to settle for something you hate versus what you love to do just to build back up.

too many people to please

You move from one place to the next and people say to you what’s next. Or worse they have their hands out ready for you to give them things. The majority of people have a hard time saying no to someone, especially when they are close friends and family. Now, eventually you have to get to that point otherwise you will slowly but surely turn into a parent. And it is not your job to raise other adults. Yet, when we reach a certain point in our careers, we feel almost this guilt because others are not where we are, which is odd. And people sometimes get this awkward feeling of surpassing people that don’t have your talents in your environment. You should never think that way because your skill is yours, that person’s skill is theirs. And just as you had to find your place, they have to find their place in society. It’s adulthood, it’s called figuring out your shit.


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TALKING A GOOD GAME: WHY SOME REFUSE TO WALK AS MUCH AS THEY TALK

Image result for TALK THE TALK

“You got all these dreams, well, put it to the test.”


You ever meet those people who have all these animated ways in which they explain all their dreams and expectations? Or how about the people that can sell you hopes and dreams of what they promise to do for you once they become successful (usually men who lie to women fall under this category). There is just one problem with these types of people in life. They are the groups of people who can talk the talk, but when it comes time to walk, it’s a whole other ball game. My current pursuit is filmmaking, and I’m sure there are people out there way more knowledgeable than myself. But they cannot put the pen to the paper and write their script. They’re not able to pitch that script nor are they able to make it into a film. When it comes to knowing all the technical lingo and classical filmmakers, they know it all, yet execution of their plans fall short.

You want to know why these guys and gals never remotely go anywhere? It all comes down to daydreaming and fears. Do you remember the movie Collateral with Jamie Foxx as the cab driver and Tom Cruise, the hire hitman, in the backseat. Jamie Foxx tells Cruise of all his plans for his own Mercedes Benz car service, yet Foxx’s reason for not starting is the money to get it off the ground: staffing, cars, and other logistics. Near the end of the film Cruise finally tells Foxx, you were never going to do it anyways. You are going to spend your life drowned out by daytime television like a lot of people when all it took was a down payment on a Lincoln Towncar to get started. And just like that, Jamie knew what that meant. Jamie could talk a good game, but when it came to actually putting himself out there, he couldn’t do it.

Jamie even went as far as to lie to his mother in the hospital as if he were really working for himself. At lunch, Foxx would even flip through the pages of a Mercedes pamphlet to see the fleets available. A lot of people do this; looking at what they wish they owned and daydream. The fear of launching comes from not feeling you’re good enough or worried of what others will think of you. Yet truly successful people don’t listen to what others have to say, they are doers. If you’re listening too much to what others say, you’re not progressing. You see, in the end, I was never a guy who was good at talking a good game. And sometimes, I even admired the people who can because I have more of a walking ability than talking. But in life, the one walking is more in alignment with success than the one who talks all the time.


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LOST IN A DAILY TRANCE: HOW WE WOULD RATHER DREAM THAN MAKE A MOVE ON THEM

Image result for collateral jamie foxx

“A dream is nothing but a dream without plan and execution.”


The above photo is of Academy Award winning actor Jamie Foxx. The photography is from the movie Collateral where he co-starred opposite Tom Cruise. His character was a man who would drive people around in his taxi cab, and during his lunch breaks, gaze at luxury vehicles. His character had dreams of running his own car service of luxury vehicles. It would be an experience and not just a ride. That was his dream until he ran into Tom Cruise, who was a villain in the movie. Cruise’s villainous character, unlike Foxx, was a doer. And for obvious reasons he had to be because he was a hired hitman. So his career revolved around standing by his word to get the job done right. So what does all this have to do with the topic at hand? Well Tom Cruise made Foxx’s character realize something about himself.

Cruise’s character gave Foxx a big ultimatum regarding his dreams and expectations in the world. Cruise let him know that the in reality he was never going to do what he set out to done anyways. Foxx would be in a trance with day time television and then one day he’d die. Die, never accomplishing or even setting out to do what he said he wanted to do in the first place. And that is what this topic is about today, not setting out to accomplish goals. These are the dreamers, the people who would rather dream about what they want then to go get it. And like Jamie Foxx’s character who fancied himself with Mercedes Benz booklets of their latest fleet with hopes of starting his own car service, we look and gaze at the imagery. But the fear of failure keeps us from making a move. Yet we fail anyways in life when we do nothing.

Then again, it is all about fear in life? Sometimes we don’t know how to start what we want to do. For me, pursuing a writing was a little more clear than for most. I put myself in the know, and I am currently pursuing. I have been actively writing since the age of 25 years old. So now, with six years of writing under my belt, I have four more years to break into writing my screenplays, playwrights, and novels. But like I said, I have been writing, even putting together a short film and currently working on the production for my second. So putting yourself in position to work toward what you want is not a guarantee, but it is a step in the right direction. And that is the hardest part for people to stomach. Not the putting yourself into position; but more so, putting yourself in harms way to accomplish anything in life.

In the end, you don’t want to deal with the idea that you might set out to accomplish something and fail in life. But that’s part of the climb is to fail in life. You can’t attain success until you’ve stared into the eyes of failure. Because once you stare down failure the worst is behind you. Especially for those of us who had to climb to attain what we have in this world. You have no other choice but to take the road no one wants to travel. And it’s that road that makes you appreciate so much when you finally get to where you have to go.


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SEXUAL INSECURITY: HOW MEN STRAY FROM SEX DUE TO FEARS

Close-up of Woman Holding Condom

“Failure to launch because of failure to launch.”


As a young male, many of us have engrained fears as it pertains to sex. They can be anything from fear of getting a woman pregnant to catching an STD. But this topic is about how men have fears of sexual malfunction. The refusal to engage in sex due to not being able to perform. And that performance anxiety keeps some from being able to experience pleasure. And for that reason, those men typically self stimulate because there is no risk of not performing. You know what you want, and there is no risk of failure. So there are guys who actually bypass sex altogether to keep from experiencing a letdown.

Now, self stimulation is fine, but what happens when it is something done for a prolonged period of time? You become dependent upon it and can’t perform when you do have sex. But you also become detached from the person altogether. And that can also stem from not wanting to deal with the letdown. See for women it’s different. Performance is not something that can effect women in the same fashion. Why, well because it won’t stop a man from having sex with you. So your lack of performance won’t keep you from having a sex life. Men are the more dominant creatures, so we are expected to perform. But keeping yourself from performing out of fear hurts you more.

Why does it hurt you more? Well the guy who fears and does, is in the race more than yourself who don’t try at all. He is actually putting himself in a position to be better than you are by not attempting. Now, all of this might sound crazy, but this is a real life issue. Especially when guys are young between ages 17 – 25 years of age. You’re expected to be more at something that you are still becoming new to in life. So you really are unfamiliar until time goes on. But not attempting at all, like I said before, still puts you at a lose. Because most say wait until you get married. I disagree, just because it sounds good biblically, but it’s not a rational human reason.

Rational human reason meaning it’s a natural act to take part in. And the woman and the man could be just as miserable in the situation. So, now that you are married, you have to just deal for life. But if you are unsatisfied, there could be problems. For you as the guy, you might want to engage, but she is not the least bit interested. So, as a woman, what do you do? That’s why it’s never good to wait until this point. But at the same time, that means potentially losing a good situation. In the end, you will always have guys fear not performing. But it should not keep you from doing so. Because if you don’t at all, it’s the same as the guy whose bad at it.


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