MARRIAGE AND A BABY WHAT: THE DECLINE OF THE NUPTIALS

 

Wedding Couple Figurine

“I do(n’t).”


generational shift

Unlike the past generations, more and more young people are rethinking marriage. And the reason for such a cultural shift has a lot to with divorce. We watched the past generations going in and out of marriage with costly divorces. And the infidelity also is of concern considering the availability of reaching people we would like to talk to. So what are young people doing today’s society? Well a lot of the new millennial generation and the group right behind us are settling for just dating and living with someone. This way you cut down on all the confusion that comes with marriage like all the paperwork you have to sign. And the breakup if it does take place is a lot more fluid. You just shake hands and walk away from the situation.

dough is important

I have been reading articles lately surrounding why marriage is on the decline in America among the young generation. And so many have said that women cannot find an economically attractive potential spouse. And for these reasons a lot of them have chosen to just stay single. Because what is the purpose of struggling so much when you are able to do more alone. Conversely, the men who are attractive for dating exist to an extent, they just don’t want to take the financial risk. Who really want to get involved in a situation where you’re losing 50% just because she wakes up and decides that she is no longer happy. It’s more fiscally sound to just date. At least dating there is a guaranteed that if the relationship succeed or not, you’re good.

less family intervention

Families for the longest have interjected themselves in the lives of those around them. But when you decide to get married there is even more entitlement to get involved. And for these reasons people tend to stay dating. When you are dating no one gets involved so you are able to have your own lives. The moment you decide to get married then you have to deal with all the pressures of family. The life of a person dating another person means that you are going to be seeing this person and only dealing with this person. Not the voices of the people around you.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

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CHIVALRY DIED, O-K: ARE MEN STILL EXPECTED TO PLAY THE ROLE

Image result for chivalry

“It’s what you’re supposed to just do.”


rule of engagement

When it comes to men and women meeting each other in society, the initial meeting is the same as it has always been. Boy meets girl, girl says yes, then they go on the initial date as planned generally by the male who expressed interest. But we are in a society today that goes against the conventional rules. Yet, we are still driven to a degree by the process that most lived with an aspect of our new school. And that is something is up for debate today because should men pay for dates. Should women of today be expected to take on the role. Or should we have a society that is a little bit of both?

women of today

In the America that we live in today, more and more women are in positions of power. That means with that comes a degree of standards that exist like no other time in history. And this is where women fall into this grey area. Because men in that same position, our standards don’t really sway that much. All it means for men is that we have more options to explore. Why, well we are very on the surface type of creatures. We start at physical and work our way from there. So when women are looking for mates in a certain tax bracket and men don’t care about the bracket, then women will have to find themselves successful competing against women with nothing to show for in life.

proper treatment

In the case of going on dates, for the me I do think that the men should pay simply because we are the ones trying to get with the woman. Not too many women asking us on dates. So when you ask someone on the date, then asks that they pay, you are part of a much wider problem. If you wanted them to pay for you, you should wait for them to ask you on a date. The person that ask is reaching out because they are the pursuer. Now, women can pursue as well, but most of the time, we are trying to get them to be with us.

change of times

As we have moved on through the decades, men and women have switched roles on a variety of areas. But what will all this mean for women seeking to find a potential mate? And to answer the question, a lot of women are going to be single in the future to come. And the reason why I said single, men are not looking for financially stable equals. We are looking for persona over what the woman has in her bank account.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

PLAYING FAVORITES: ARE BLACK WOMEN REALLY NOT A DATING CHOICE

Woman Wearing White Sleeveless Lace Shirt

“The selection process.”


the dating pool

In the selection process of dating for so long, there is this held belief that Black women are never the first choice for dating. Now as a man, I don’t believe in that, but let’s for a second observe the theory here. I myself, even though I am an African American, don’t fully understand the selection viewpoint of Black women. Not because I don’t care, mainly because in the paradigm of living have focused on my day-to-day task of survival. Also, even though I have two sisters, I have never asked them about their dating experiences as Black women. It wasn’t until recently now that I am over 30 years old did I really explore this belief.

the available bum

Now, in Black women’s environment there are these guys who lend themselves called, “Ready Made Bums.” They, in my opinion, are nowhere near a reflection of the overall selection pool. But who they are, they are these men who approach women with all the wrong intentions and in all the wrong ways. These men are microwave ready masculinity. Nothing that is of substance, nor anything that is worth satisfying for the long haul, thus the name Ready Made Bums. But like I said before, to what degree do these men exist in comparison to the ones that are out there who are of substance.

self-fulfilling prophecy

It is a known that what we put out there into the universe tends to come to us. So if you are moving about life saying men are bums, not many who aren’t will be around. Meaning, whatever you tell yourself about yourself will formulate even if it’s not true. My question to you would be if you say men are bums, where do you live? What are the venues you tend to hang out at on weekends? Who are your circle of friends? Who are other people in your lives that do have good relationships? Because if your daily life is around people who do have healthy relationships, it will rub off onto you. That’s why it’s important to watch your associations of people close to you.

those in your ear

A word to Black women, beware of the other women in your ear when seeking out a male companion. Especially if that woman giving you advice does not have or has a hard time acquiring herself a man. Because you’re going to also get all the wrong information filtered to you. She’s going to be giving you the advice based on her own problems. Why, well no woman is going to tell you how to get a good man; or introduce you to a good man before she gets a great man herself. That’s like me having a winning lotto ticket, I’m broke, but you need the money more than me. No, I’m cashing that ticket, then once I’m settled I’ll tell you how to get paid.

changing your scenery

Maybe a change in scenery would help Black women who feel this way. Planet Fitness is $10 per month; it’s a great way to meet men. Guys who are into health and wellness tend to have a great outlook on life. Another place to go would be, for those who can afford it, get a membership to a golfing club. A lot of professional men tend to spend their time golfing outside of work. It’s also a great place to make professional business connections as well. Try not to hang in groups, especially when seeking a male companion. Because you will be greatly influenced by the women in your circle. Remember, friends are friends, but friends at times may talk you out of a great relationship because they are thinking about who they think you should be with, not who you really should be with. Overall, get out, try things you never thought you would like: skydive, you biking, join a book club, and speed date.


My Personal Website: www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

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