KIND WORDS MET WITH REJECTION: WHY ONES’ POSITIVE MENTAL ENERGY IRRITATES OTHERS

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“Block out the hate, someone’s listening to the real words.”


When riding the subway this morning, a man was speaking what can only be described as his own words of motivation and inspiration. Now granted, we live in New York City, so when someone gets on a train and starts talking to the passengers everyone looks away. We have been trained to do so because experience in living in this city tells you that sometimes people have other motives. And those motives can put you in a sticky situation if you decided to engage with that person. But let’s take a step back for a second and assume the man had good intentions.

What is it about people that don’t want to hear the words of motivation especially when you are on your way to work in the morning. If you observe the graph below, these are the various top ten global cities with high commutes. The number represented inside the graph as the trips in billions. Can you imagine all these commutes and I wonder, how many people enjoy hearing a little bit of encouragement in the morning on their way to work.

Or maybe I’m naive to believe that people are actually going to a place where they want to work. Maybe, just maybe, the people are not happy with their overall quality of life. And if you are unhappy with your quality of life, the last thing you want to hear in the morning to work is the goodness of life.

So when you speak motivation, the good word; who are you really talking to in life? Well, I am sure there are people listening, but they remain silent. Those who take it in the most, take it and forge ahead with it.balance, business, cobblestone The ones who reject the most are always verbal. These are the people who you don’t want to share your space with because they are headed down a road of resentment and inevitably manifest itself in how they live their lives.


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PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS: WHY DO WE FEAR THE PURSUIT

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“Race to the finish line of life.”


As I have stated before in previous posts, I came to New York City from a small city in the Midwest. Population sat at around 80,000 people and very little diversity. Then after college, I decided to make the leap and come to the east coast. At first, I was just going to attend graduate school and get a job after that while writing my screenplays as a hobby. Yet while going for MBA, I realized that I wanted more from my writing. So much more that I kind of put my MBA studies on the back burner and focused on writing my scripts while working my part-time jobs. And since then, I have written close to ten full length feature scripts, two short film scripts that I shot into short films, self-published two books, and currently contributing to two blogs of mine. Am I close to my goal just yet, not quite. But I am a lot closer than I was five years ago.

The reason I am writing this posts is to try to give people an insight into not only my life goals, but following my vision. And I strongly encourage you to do the same. I’ve always wondered what is it that make people so afraid to pursue their dreams. Is just about the talent, or is it something more? Is it the fear of failure or worried what others will think of them? Maybe it’s the peer pressure or the push back from family. Whatever the case people are terrified to live their lives. They dread stepping out into the world and being the best them. And at times for good reason; who would want to pursue a career just to fall completely short of what they’ve always wanted. No one does. But how will you ever know if you never take the steps to pursuing your dreams. It’s a lot easier said than done; but is it really.

You see, society places these expectations on us to live by. And when you fall short of those expectations, then you have to hear about it. Hear about it in the form of, “I told you so.” And that’s the biggest pain that no one wants to endure. No one want to hear those words coming from another person’s mouth. So to keep from looking bad in front of others, we typically play life safe. Sitting back, we watch others who weren’t afraid, and say, “What if.” Or, “Had I have done this or that, how would my life have turned out.” Regrets are such a big part of life because you can never get that time back. Once tomorrow is upon us, yesterday is an event that will never be recovered. Just hope that the next day is better today and yesterday. But let’s say for instance, you do go for what’s yours in this world and by some chance you get yours.

For starters, don’t expect people to be happy for you. You’re going to get hate from all directions. But that is because they are the population of people who either lack the abilities that you have, project their poor decisions on to you, or they have allowed too much time to pass for them to pursue their own dreams. So in the end, your pursuit of happiness should never be linked to how someone else feels about you or a comparison to their position. Your road to success is your road to success. You could wake up tomorrow and hit the lotto, while the person above you could easily lose it all. And while I pursue my career endeavor, there is guarantee I’ll come out on the other side. But I and you will never know until you make the move to pursue.


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MY MONEY, MY RULES: HOW PARENTS USE FINANCES TO DICTATE THEIR CHILDREN’S FUTURE

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“Are you a hostage to your parent’s wallet?”

Do you or someone you know have a parent that have told them that if you don’t pursue the career endeavor I want, you will not be receiving my financial support? I have heard parents tell this to their children. And the result of not pursuing what I want as a parent is either refusing to support your career choice or some parents have went as far as to kick you out of the will. The push for students having their career path chosen for them is more of a foreign decision than an American one. Yet there are families here in the United States who carry this same ideology. Luckily for me, I didn’t grow up in this sort of household.

You see, for me, my mother always encouraged me to pursue what could not only make me successful, but something that I loved. She not once told me nor my sisters that if we didn’t pursue what she wanted, she would not be there for us. That freedom to know that whatever career endeavor I chose she would be behind me, is what I needed. Yet, I wish more kids had that type of moral support in their lives. So, when I told my mother I wanted to pursue a career as a writer, she was right behind me. But why aren’t more parents behind their children’s plans.

For starters, parents don’t take their children serious. There is a lot of work that must be put into being what you want to be in life. Parents feel they should steer their children in the right direction because their kids can not be taken serious. For instance, a kid tells their parent/s they want to be an archaeologist. Now archaeologist don’t make that much of an income, so you have to really be passionate about being one. Parents look at their children and go, “You’re not serious about this.” And a lot of times they’re right. They know you’re not willing to put in the time and work. So, in order for them to respect you, they must see your progress.

Now, there is another aspect of parenting when it comes to their children choosing their goals in life. And that is that parents don’t want to fund something that is not a good enough return on their investment. Children are an investment and when you put your life into them and they throw it away, it becomes angering. They think to themselves, if I put this much into you, I hope to get this much back for you. Meaning, it can cost $1 million believe it or not to raise a kid from age 0 (at birth) – 25/26 years old when they graduate college in graduate school. So pursuing acting, writing, singing, dance, sculpting, archaeology, etc. that has to do with the arts and/or humanities is seen by parents as a waste of time. They want you to pursue a career in law, business, engineering, or medicine.

In the end, parents want to steer you because they think they know what’s best for you. But in reality, for them to force you into a career field not knowing if you possess a skill or desire is pure selfish. They are stripping you of an even better life. So in my opinion, if you want to go off and create your own future, you have to be willing to disobey your parents. Which is hard because most of us want to do what’s expected of us. But the only way to show your parents you’re serious is to stop receiving their help and build it yourself. Because ultimately, your parents want to respect to you. And nothing is more respectful than building your own future independent of them.

HOOP DREAMS: WHY SPORTS IS THE TICKET FOR BLACK MALES

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“A gone make it!”

“With the number one pick, of the NBA/NFL draft, the ________ select _______ of the University of ________.” These are the words young boys dream of hearing as we prepare to walk that stage, receiving that hat from the commissioner. Then soon after, celebrating with family as we bask in the glory of making to the league. Our dreams have come true and we can start our career. Now these are the experiences the very few will get a chance to see. As for the rest, it is just a dream which will never come true. But is that really the end. I mean with so many young boys dreaming and only a limited amount of space, only a chosen few will get a chance to even get drafted. Even fewer will play and fewer will have lengthy careers.

But why, why are so many Black males wrapped up in the idea that sports is the way out of poverty. There use to be a lyric in hip hop artist Notorious B.I.G. rhymes, “You either slangin rocks or got a killer jump shot.” Could it be that we aspire to play ball because so many Black men are in the league that we see. Black men are in other career fields, but these are the public figures we see. And we only want to be the men we see and seek to become who we see as making big in their careers. There are Black doctors, lawyers, engineers, executives, but we want to be the ball player. But could it all be about seeing these men. What about income?

Income has caught the attention of so many Black boys because what other career is this lucrative this young. Name any other profession where a 19 to 22 year old could become an overnight millionaire. Especially a young Black man from an inner city neighborhood. The only guys that age with a lot of money are the drug dealers. It’s one of the reasons we purchase the items we do once we get money, almost as a homage to these guys. We also think that money will fix so many of our problems that we try to escape from when we were poor. But why is sports so shoved down the throats of Black boys. Even with knowing the majority won’t go pro.

One of the reasons is that winning high school games makes the school and coach look good. So Black males have dreams pumped into their heads about being the next Jordan or Kobe or Lebron. Yet no one is telling Black boys to focus on more academics. In today’s society the idea of a college degree is thrown our way. But you don’t need basketball/football to go to college. So academics take a backseat to sports. And what happens, so many Black boys read at levels that kids half their age are reading. Which leads to so many Black males majoring in communications once we get to college. It’s one the easiest, yet one the most vague degrees in school.

In the end, we are pushed to play sports because no one expects you to do anything else. Young White males are not pumped up with sports on a daily basis. Plus, we are also inundated with constant images of successful White men in other career fields. As a matter of fact, the entire Forbes rich list are comprised with majority White males. To White guys, sports is fun, as a career objective, there are fewer. Young Black boys should be exposed to more as children to know more is out there. That’s why Barack Obama played such a pivotal role in the image of Black males. Now more than ever politics is an attractive career path for Black males. An environment which will effect Black males more than any athlete can effect change.