NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE: WHY YOU SHOULDN’T FORCE LIFE, LET IT HAPPEN

Man Sitting on the Mountain Edge

“Sometimes you have to take time off.”


When you’re working and you have been going for so long that you get that mental wear and tear, you have to step back. Forcing success to come out won’t work because is has to be an organic feel. When it’s real it’s real, and when you force it, you’re just going to wind-up putting out more trash. So when you’re going through one of those mental breakdowns, remember to do the following.

OWN IT

Realize that there is a problem going on inside your head. Know that you have hit a point where you’re not able to think past this moment. And I say moment because if you have been moving toward your goal long enough, it is momentary to have a stuck point. It’s normal to perform well time and time again, then out of nowhere lose your groove.

ASSESS IT

Now that you have owned up to the problem, the next step is trying to figure out how you got to this point. Is it that you have worked yourself tiresome? Or could it be that you have not worked smart enough, just hard enough? Because there is a difference between working hard and smart. So know how you came to this mental block.

THE PLAN TO FIX

Here is where you devise a plan to fix the issue that is keeping you from moving forward in life. This point will be not only how you leave your current situation, but also will aid in how you deal with future problems hereafter. Now, don’t be mislead, sometimes the best laid plans go astray. But having the plan keeps you on track to being back to the old you.

EXECUTE

Here is the point at which you implement the plan to bring yourself back to the old you. The execution will draw the strength from within that will get you over the hump and back on track to success. Which will ultimately lead into the last stage.

PROSPERITY

This is the stage at which you are back to success, or on track as usual toward success. Now what’s interesting about this entire passage is that we will all have these obstacles in our lives. That’s why we should experience the hurt at a young age, so by the time we get older we know it before it hits us. Yet if we don’t learn to take these lumps early in life, much harder days will cripple us down the line.


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INTERNAL ABYSS: HOW TO FACE THE HURT THAT IS YOU

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“Fighting the me inside of me.”


Ever feel like you’re having one of those days when you have the internal feeling of fighting something. You either know what it is or don’t know what it is. But whatever the case may be, it has you fixated on nothing good in the moment. It’s that feeling you get when nothing seems to be going right. The feeling you get when you are sluggish and unmotivated. When you’re beginning to contemplate why are you alive and what are you doing with your life. And that my friend is the sign of depression. You have the strong case of hurt, pain, anxiety, and stress. It is sometimes an onset of emotions, and other times it is prolonged. So where does it come from?

In my own life, I have battled depression. I have always wondered where it came from, and now that I am an adult I now know. And that depression that hit my world came from childhood and adulthood. From childhood, it had a lot to do with the idea that I was always afraid of everything. I wouldn’t even climb the tree like a lot of children when my cousins would be outside. My fears kept me from doing so much, that now I look back and wonder for what. What was my reason for being so scared of so much. One of the reasons is because guys in my community were going to jail and getting killed. So to keep from being a statistic, I thought it would be best to fear everything: jail, death, even life. My other reason for fear was not having a man in my life to teach me how weak it was to fear what I was fearing.

But that fear does not stop there in my life. It follows you into adulthood. My adult fear was becoming a parent when I know I don’t want children. Yet, I do want relationships. And if a woman want a child, oh well, yet now you have a kid here. So now she is making a decision involving my existence that I want no part of. So I have lived in isolation because of it. And that isolation tends to make one depressed. But since finding writing, it has made me cope with any internalized problems. So now that you know a little about myself, what about you? What makes you fight the internal thing that is you. I know that the flip side of me being so afraid, it has given me urgency and focus on important aspects of life as well because I am not as spontaneously crazy. So how do you fix the you inside of you?

You have to bring yourself to a place that will drive out the good in you. Meaning, find things you love that you are good at as well. And then work to be great at those things. Everything else will fall to the waist side. But if your mind is only in the frame of the hurt and pain, and you can’t get past that, you will always be depressed. And in the end, that always being in a state of depression is what’s the killer. Because looking over life you’ll be more hurt that you never made the initiative to do something about your life. And by that time it’s far too late.


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COPING WITH LOSS: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A DEATH IN THE FAMILY

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“We all cope in different ways.”


One of the hardest, if not the hardest moment of your life is losing a loved one. We all have these ideas of how we’re going to deal with the situation. We even go as far as purchasing insurance and putting together wills for when that time comes. But even with all the preparation it’s still a sudden blow to the family. So what is your way in which you have learned to cope with the death of a close family member? We all have our way of dealing. I know in my life time I have lost three close relatives: all three were my grandparents. And even though they were elderly, you’re never ready for them to go.

Some people become what I call the reclusive types. They go and hide, and no one sees them for a very long time. The sudden death is too much for them to deal with, so they have to get away. It takes these people sometimes years to gain the courage to visit the grave site of a loved one. And depending on how they died, it could really have taken a toll on reclusive people. In addition to the death and how the person died, reclusive people might also be a solitary type of person anyways. So the death just added to the further recluse behavior.

Now the other group of people who cope with death are the people known as the abusive types. These are people who usually deal with a lose by turning to some form of self-deprecating behavior. The harm to ones’ self can come in the form of drugs, sex, and/or alcohol. They are people who already have a hard time dealing with any minimal lose. Now they have to live with this major lose. So it wears down on them to the point they themselves become a detriment to their lives and people around them.

Now, another group of people are known as the spiritual types. They look at death and try to find the religious angle in coping. Their belief is that the person is somewhere better than here. The struggle in life is over and the person is on to something far more greater. And this coping mechanism makes it easier to deal with their own mortality. The end is a very terrifying realization, so to be able to look death in the eyes and deal with that, it’s quite uplifting. Yet, there is still one more group of people who cope with death that is different than the rest.

The last group are the types that fall under the category of realist. They are geared toward a less spiritual outlook. Thy tend to be more scientific in their viewpoint. They don’t abuse alcohol or substances, nor do they become recluse. These realist look at life and go, we all will die. The human body is only made to live 40 years, so the fact that we get 78 years is a miracle in disguise. Anything beyond 78 years and life is fair to this bunch; beyond fair. To these people, why asks for more, when there is so much greatness right here on Earth to experience.

In the end, we all have ways that we deal with death. I can’t say one person’s way is better than another way. It’s however you’re able to deal with death. I’ll say that if I were more of one than the others, I would be more of the recluse type. It’s a lot easier for me to look at death out of mind out of sight. Still thinking about the person, but place the death somewhat to the back of your mind. I’ll remember more good times than bad so I don’t have to deal with the constant death reminder.


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COPING MECHANISM: HOW WE DEAL WITH OUR OWN ENDING

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“How do you cope with your mortality?”


All of us have thought about what it would be like once we eventually pass away. But how do you properly prepare yourself for your ending is tough. No one wants to ever think that once they leave this place, this is it and that’s that. So what does most of us do; we cope. We find ways to cope with the idea of us dying one day. What are some of the ways that we cope as people so we can deal with the end of our lives? Some people live life to the fullest having fun, some people donate their time and money, while others spend their time pursuing various career endeavors.

People who live life to the fullest are the people who wake up everyday and have fun. They make sure they have enough to cover their cost of living and after that, it’s a party. They live by the ride ’til the wheels fall off type of lifestyle. Work hard and play even harder in life. This way you can have fun memories forever. This way once you reach the end of your life, you can look back and say, “Man I had a good time.” But some may say, there is more you can do with your life than just partying. There are other ways to cope with the end of your life.  What about spending your time and money to helping others in life?

These people volunteer their time to help others in a way that will not only help those in need, but also bring comfort to themselves. Another aspect of giving is the idea that giving their money is a way of coping. There is this inner feeling of euphoria that comes with helping people who are less fortunate than yourself. It’s that feeling that makes us not lose sight of why we should appreciate our own circumstance. If not for what I have been brought through it could easily have been me. So the giving up our time and money helps us look over life and say, “My time spent here is worth exiting in the end.” But is there another way that people try to cope with their end?

The third way I came up with is pursuing a career endeavor as a way to cope. This way with coping is saying to yourself, “After the lights go out, they’re out for good.” “So go for the gusto because it won’t matter after you’re gone.” These people start out at a young age working toward their goals, achieve their goals, so they can say they pursued everything they’ve ever wanted to pursue. So many people spend their days going to work coming home, and that’s it. But the career driven people spend their days chasing dreams so they can look to the end of their lives and say, “I got everything I have ever wanted.” “And now I can accept my ending.

In the end, we all have these ways of trying to cope with the end of our lives. Some deal by means in enjoying their lives, some by means of donating time and money, and others by means of focusing on a career. I, myself have mine, as with anyone else. There are many other coping mechanism, but the previous ones were just a few. Until we learn to accept our ending, then we will always find ways to cope with our mortality.

EXCEPTING YOUR END: HOW WE COPE WITH DEATH

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“Are you really ready for the end?”


For the longest, people have tried to find methods of coping with the idea that we as people will eventually meet our demise. No one, no matter how long you live, is ready for the time when they will die. We all love existing and hate even thinking about a world where we don’t exist. So for thousands of years we have sought to try to understand something. Anything that will point us in a direction leading to our end. Religion has its viewpoint and science has its viewpoint. But even with both views, all of us walk away with the same feeling. We either fear dying and/for we don’t want to die.

Well why, why do we fear the end of our lives. None of the past frightens us, yet we are totally afraid of all the future. Me my self, I was not afraid of the year 1920 so why am I afraid of the year 2120. I won’t be around which creeps me out. But what will happen once we leave this Earth. Is there a collection of energy that goes somewhere, or do we past and that is it? Do we ascend to heaven as the bible speaks about, or do we disintegrate to nothingness? The idea of this being the end for so many people is scary. But how do we cope with the idea of an ending. Let’s look at a few ways people cope with themselves passing away.

The bible is written about us ending and going to heaven. Once we die in this world, we pass along into another. The Christian text calls it the land of milk and honey. In the Lord’s house there are many mansions. This sounds great if you’re a person of the Christian faith. Furthermore, if you belong to any other group, they have their own beliefs regarding the end of life. Yet there are the skeptics. These are the people who come into the loop and present to the world their alternative facts. To them they have a more scientific means of explaining the end of ones’ life.

The science community aims at looking at humans as a carbon based life form that will come to an end as well. Unlike the religious community, science theorizes that nothing supernatural happens as the body dies. Carbon is released from our bodies like any other dead organism back into the atmosphere just as with plants and animals. This is of benefit to us and any other plant and animal life on Earth. So, to them, this is it, so make the best of it. Because when the lights go out, they’re out for good. Anything other than that is seen as nonsense and should be viewed as such.

In the end, what will it take to get people to cope? Will there ever come a time when people can cope with their end? Or will we forever be locked in our emotions about what happens after we die on this Earth? There is one thing that people everywhere can agree upon. Is that this body we call ours will not be here forever. And I don’t mean just me in the moment. I mean the Earth as we know it has an expiration date. Eventually the universe will reach maximum growth before it ends itself. And that’s life, everything has a beginning and an end. How all of ours will turn out is unknown. So for now, we live. Go to sleep and wake up, until the day comes where those eyes won’t open again.