WHO SHOULD I LISTEN TO: TAKING ADVICE FROM THE RIGHT PERSON

Ballpoint Pen on Top of White Printer Paper Beside 100 U.s. Dollar Bill

“Who shall I listen to?”


advice-advice-advice

When earning a living, we have all these questions regarding what to do with money as you make it. And the reply to that is, be mindful of the advice one gives to you. Because in this society we have all these advisers financially, but few who actually know what they are talking about. And one big mistake at times is listening to the people around you. Your friends and family are not always the best candidates to go to for advice. They give you advice based on what they think they know about money. These are not the expert advisers when dealing with monetary concerns a lot of times.

don’t just hear what you want

In the event that you do get some good advice we as people have been known to not adhere because we want to hear the advice that we want to hear. Then the best thing is to not ask someone for their input. Because if what you wanted to hear was right then why are you reaching out for advice. The job of an adviser is not to align themselves with your thought process. Or nurture what you believe to be true with some sort of validation. They give it to you straight and it is what it is. And if you want that ego boost, then go to your family and friends. They will give you the seeds for ego growth.

beware of false prophets

Now, be cautious, everyone with a suit and a tie are not your friends. It’s like the old saying, “If it’s too good to be true, then usually it is.” They promise you all these hopes and dreams with these big pay outs, but then they are not telling you that this is just not how money is made. There is either some fraudulent scheme you’re in, or you’re going to lose your money in this big investment. So know what it is you’re doing because investing in these guys, an you’ll lose money faster than listening to friends and family.


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MAKING THEIR DECISIONS FOR THEM: WHY PARENTS HAVE TO LET GO AND LET LIVE

adult, affection, baby

“Eventually they have to go into the world on their own.”


When you are an infant, your parents job is to care for you. When you are a toddler, their job is to care for you. When coming through the early childhood stages, their job is to care for you. As an adolescent, they care for you just the same. But when it’s time for you to graduate from high school and enter the world, it’s hard for parents to let go. They are used to knowing how to care for you for so long, they think they know what’s best for you. Now, as someone with no children of course someone will say that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But here is where they are wrong.

Let’s say your parents feel they know what’s best for you. And theoretically, they would be telling the truth. They are your parents, they brought you into this world. And for that reason they know what’s best for their child/children. But there is a keyword in this explanation, and that is child/children. They may be your offspring, but they are not young anymore. It’s amazing that we feel that 18, 19, and 20 years of age is good enough to make decisions to join the military, but not what career to pursue. But let me explain the fundamental issue with choosing your child’s path.

And the issue is that of course you know what’s good for child; your child. Why, well because you have a laid out plan for them at a young age. You know the school they will attend, the appropriate food to feed them, clothes to wear, neighborhood where they will live, and the religion they will practice. But once they become adults and ask you what path to take, what courses, who to marry, where to live, and what job to take on; that’s when you hit a wall. Why do you hit a wall, because you don’t know what’s good for them in life. If you knew what was good for them, you would have a plan for them to walk through life.

The reality is that you don’t know what’s good for them once they become adults. It’s up to them to figure that aspect of life out on their own. You don’t know what career is best for them. You don’t know what steps they should take from 20’s into their 30’s, and beyond. All this time, you had a plan for them, yet soon as they become adults, you hit a wall. And that’s when you realize you don’t know what’s good for them. The fear sets in because your whole existence for 18 years has been them, now for the first time you feel helpless. But you are not helpless, your voice is still important.

Because in the end, you are still their parents. And even though you don’t know what’s good for them in life, there is still that love and support through life they need. You don’t know their strengths and weaknesses for a future career, but you can advise on what on what they might want to pursue. Help them find the thing that they are good at, and push to make them great.


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CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM VS. OPINIONATED CONVERSATION: HOW TO GIVE ONE AND NOT THE OTHER

ask, blackboard, chalk board

“Know when you’re helping, know when you’re not.”


I love when someone brings insightfulness to me regarding something I am working on that could make my work better. Some bit of advice that I can take and run with toward the success that I want out of life. But there is a far cry between constructive criticism and someone giving some empty opinionated reason why they don’t like something you have done. There are skill that come with providing people with knowledge that is constructive. Meaning when you criticize, make sure you have a legitimate idea to make something better. Don’t just say I don’t like it. Otherwise, not only are you not helping, but you might make the situation worse.

Now, remember before I said there is a skill that comes with giving criticism. There is a way to approach telling someone that their idea is no good without telling them it’s no good. But remember also I said that you should provide a way to make it better. Meaning, let’s say you’re running a fast food restaurant, and you get two criticisms. The first person says the food sucked, and they had an awful time. This is not good enough insight into the restaurant. Then the other person say that my steak was not all the way cooked when I wanted it well done, and when I expressed my grievances the customer service showed little to no interest in aiding me. You see, one criticism is more direct than the other.

Now, here is another aspect of the criticism that is tricky to notice. There are people who will give you in depth criticism, yet it starts to play in the arena of petty. And these are the knick-picky people who will find any reasons to kill and idea. For example, they will do things like pick a word from a written piece of your material. Then they’re give a long drawn out excuse as to how you used the word in the wrong context. They’ll write this in a passive aggressive manner to undermine your accomplishments. Or, they’ll use big words that not even they use on a daily basis just to make themselves appear knowledgeable. So people can read with adulation, like, “Wow, they sure do have a base of vocabulary.

But, as I said earlier, there need to be a way to make things better. Even if you are a critic, you should have your criticism. But make sure to imply that it would have been great if  they would have done blank. Then you leave the possibility of the person reading and gaining some insight for the next time they are working on a project. People who don’t provide a way, even if the criticism is constructive, can quickly find themselves in the empty rhetoric category that is opinionated commentary. Learn to decipher between those that want to see you do better and those that could care less.

In the end, there are people who will always have something to say about your work. Whether it’s constructive or not, they’ll have something. And you just have to learn that it comes with the territory. Not everyone is going to like what you do. Some it’s about taste and preference and others it has to do with not liking you and your work. Whatever the case, believe in your own work and keep pushing forward. Yet, once you allow it to stifle your growth, then you have lost the fight.


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GENDER FLIP

Image result for MALEFEMALE

“What if I were a woman?”

Have you ever thought what your life would be like if you were the opposite gender? I have found myself going, “How would my life be different had I have been born a woman?” “Would I have the the same cognitive processes I do now?” “How would my physical attributes look in this feminine body?” “Would I be just as safe walking the streets as I am now?” “What would be expected of me from society?” So many questions to myself go through my mind. But I have another way of approaching the situation. If I could go back to that conceptualized moment of birth, I would take notes with me from today’s society. Meaning I would write an advice letter from a man’s perspective then send it back in time to my female self in how to deal with man.

My advice to female self starts in elementary school. I would first start off by telling me that life didn’t make us fair. Sorry kid, boys’ muscular structure is different than women. So chances are you won’t be the fastest kid in school. You will dominate among women, but as far as being the fastest in general that’s all biology. But I will tell you that you will be a better communicator. Man has been endowed biologically greater than a woman in which that is physical, but you are greater in which that is emotional. Find your skill that makes you unique from the rest, using that greater in which to shine.

Your next stage in life will come middle school. This is the beginning of your adolescent life. You will start to develop so much mentally through this stage as well as physically. But you will know this because you’re in your female body. But if you’re reading this message to you, you should know that it’s also boy’s adolescent stage as well. We are going through puberty, and our affinity for you will start. Now, our voices don’t only crack and we are not only growing hair everywhere, but we don’t fully know why we like you as well. At age 12 years of age it is very unclear, but we’ll understand coming through middle school into high school.

Now, as you pass from middle into high, you’ll realize a key attribute as a teenager. It is that virginity for you is different for us. Sex is way more emotional for you than us. We will go to farther lengths for sex, and at times you won’t understand why we are willing to risk it all. You’ll even notice we are willing to spend money, play sports, dress a certain way, and talk a certain way for your attention. Now, everyone has some sort of price, once the level at which you’re willing and able to pay exceeds your price, get out. There is a catch to I want this much, but I’ll give you more; what’s the catch. Which brings me to another thing about us as guys, we don’t operate off of something for nothing. But also keep in mind, that once people understand you have a price and a price only, you could find yourself doing things you never thought you would, so beware.

Which brings me to the advice I’ll give you about being an adult. That is men have come to realize that we don’t necessarily need much going for us once we have trinkets. Meaning, man me talking to female me must know that once we have acquired tangibles, we know it impresses you. So we realize at times it’s all we need. Now, this is when you must use your gift of communication. Always remember, to a degree, you’re better at communicating because you utilize more words for expressing what you want. Men are looking for the most simplistic measure, you are more complex. Make people seek out the complexity within.

In the end, I am writing this letter you as 29 year old man me, to now adult you as a woman. There is so much more to learn and understand in life about even man men now. And hopefully, just hopefully you’ll pick up another letter from an older more wiser man. A letter which will tell you the next stage of life which is middle age and ultimately elderly years of what we are as men.