SEXUALLY TABOO: WHY IS THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY SO FROWNED UPON

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“One of the biggest industries, no one admits to watching.”


Pornography is one of the biggest and yet most taboo industries in America. But for some reason, when it comes to the top known entertainers in the business, we all know their names. We’ve all heard of Ron Jeremy, Jenna Jameson, Lexington Steele, and Bella Donna. Yet if you don’t watch porn, how do you manage to know these people for what they do? And they will all tell you of stories of meeting people, very well-respected people who have seen their work and compliment them. Then, when asked a question of do we watch, we always give the same dry reply of no, that’s not my thing types of answers. So why is it so taboo in society.

For starters, we are protective of our children and content that they consume. If we start to normalize the porn industry, then people are afraid that children will start to either gravitate toward it faster, or they’ll become desensitized. Only problem with that frame of thought is that in today’s society, we have more outlets that are out of the reach and control of parents. You as that adult might try to put passwords on the computer. But somehow, your children can still gain access eventually. Especially considering we’re living in such a digital age. Anything you want is literally a click away. You can type almost anything in a search engine and find a result for whatever aisles you.

Another reason for the taboo is that we feel that watching too much leads to an addiction. And becoming addicted to sex in the form of watching porn, can actually remove you from dealing altogether with the human element. You can also start to develop physical ailments if you are watching too much because watching most often leads to personal stimulation. So the ailment comes from too much personal stimulation. And that addiction can lead into more severe mental problems that can occupy your personal space. Your quality of life can ultimately diminish, and you start to effect the people around you.

Now, in the end, the reason I don’t think we should be too worried is because the industry is so widespread that it’s almost like we don’t even think twice about the idea that it exist anymore. And that has to do with the idea that so many amateurs are now making an income from home. Parents in the past used to be worried about their child reading a Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler, now they’re worried about their kid making a sex tape. Crazy thing is that the more digital takes hold, the less voice the parents have in their child’s life. So at this point all you can do is raise them the best you can, and hope for the best.


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LOSE OF INNOCENCE: HOW ADULTHOOD ROBS YOU OF YOU

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“You lose and lose and lose; then maybe you win.”


When you’re young, everyone tells you about how adulthood will pan out, Yet it does not quite amount to the struggle when you do become and adult. You’re told you have to work to become the person you want to be. But when you’re actually working to be that person, then you see it first hand. And you start to ask questions you never thought you would find yourself asking. Questions like, “Are humans really built to work like this everyday?” “I want a one dollar McChicken from McDonald’s; you mean to tell me I need a full-time job for a one dollar sandwich?” And with all the questions you ask, hopefully you’re able to come out on top. Yet so many don’t come out on top.

So inevitably, what is lost from your climb to success. In my opinion, when all you’re doing is working, then a bit of innocence is lost. You lose some humanity, as well as you becoming a little less empathetic person. You go from caring about the loved ones around you to what’s in it for me. And that’s when even more of you is lost. But why are we like this? Well, it’s because of how man constructed society.  Humans evolved to live on this planet, but not to necessarily work all the time. But we also needed to construct the world to keep everything in order also. So part of that keeping order was building economies. And as a driver in these economies, jobs and a marketplace of buyers and sellers.

So now, society is situated around attaining a living. Yet we are not happy creatures; more stressed than anything. But we continue on because there is this held belief that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We wake up every morning giving thanks for another day on Earth. But how content are we really? Maybe this is the reason we cling on to other aspects of society, like religion or having social lives. Or even maintaining monogamous relationships. It gives a real human existence outside the hustle of our work lives. Because a vast majority of our lives is predicated on what we do for a living. So it’s tough when we don’t have anything going on outside of work.

In the end, the older we get, the more we lose ourselves. And when I say ourselves, I don’t mean our self-respect. I mean this small amount of humanity that we lose. I think this is why we sometimes place ourselves around charities. We give back because it gives us what we lose through so much struggle in life.


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BY 30: WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU BY THIS AGE?

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“Are the expectations for us realistic or not?”

It’s funny the expectations people have for you once you reach a certain age. The age 18 years old, 21 years, and now 30. By the time you reach 30 years of age parents, friends, significant others, and society expects more from you. This is the age where you’re suppose to have your life together. I guess this is why I started in my 20’s pushing toward what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Most guys go out on Fridays, I’m in a computer lab trying to focus on writing/filmmaking. But why the strain, 30 is really not that old. As a matter of fact, it’s really young.

This is why 30 is such an important part of your life. You’re 12 years out of high school, hopefully far removed from your parent’s house, and bills start to role in. You’ve been out of college for the greater portion of the past decade. And if you are in a relationship, no more late night caps of sex. Especially if you’re a guy with a woman, she’s thinking marriage. It’s when you really start wanting children if you don’t already have any. It’s also a time to reflect over your life so far. Every milestone of my own life I have been happy up to this point. 18 years old, graduating high school; 22/23 years old graduating college, now I am 29 years old looking to 30.

I am in the process of working to be self employed and I may say, it is an uphill battle. What if I fail? What if I am not as good as I thought I was? Was the past decade for me a waste? Maybe I should have just partied it up like every other guy my age and figured out life later. Who knows what will happen for me because 30 years of age is not even 12 months away. But on the other hand, I’m not the only one who feels the pressure of 30. Yet, there is something about me that sits me apart from so many my age. I don’t feel pressured to do certain things a lot of millennials my age are thinking about: children, marriage, buying a house, and making car payments.

Now, what makes 30 so difficult for my age group that is different than my older sister is that my age group will need multiple crafts/skills. It’s not good enough to work one job anymore. I talk to people I grew up with who are working professionals and struggle to survive. Let me reiterate that, “working professionals” struggling to survive! In school growing up, you’re always taught that in a professional position you should be good. But actually, they struggle just as much as non-professionals.

Why the change with this new generation. It just seems like technology is shrinking everything. But in reality technology has created more opportunities to make money. You just have to dig it up out of the ground like gold because the days of working a 9-5 for 40 hours per week and benefits are over. So, is 30 still looked at like 30 a decade or so ago. The answer is yes! 30 is still 30, and you are expected to be at a certain place mentally and financially.

So I go back to myself. Maybe the book I am about to finish writing helps build me some type of audience, maybe it does very well, or maybe it falls flat. Maybe my next short film will help me land more work in my respective field or maybe I will be forced to keep grinding. Whatever the case may be, I am in preparation for what I want. Shouldn’t that mean something. We’ll see in a year because change is important. If you are in the same mind-frame and same financial position, you probably have not done much to change your situation. These are the adjustments all adults have to make. In the end, I don’t know what next year, next month, next week, or even the next day will bring. But as long as things are better each day than the day before I am making progress. And that at this point in life is good enough for me. Because life is about the journey, not necessarily where you’re at this moment.

ADULTHOOD: The Fear of Not Meeting Expectations

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“Failure to Launch or Fear of Launch?”

 As an adult, do some of us self sabotage or are some just flat out lazy at it pertains to working hard in life. There are young men and women who are in their early 30’s still living at home with their parents. And no, I am not talking about because they fell on hard times and need a place to crash until they get on their feet. I am speaking of the people who have this failure to launch. But is it always the failure to launch, or the fear of launching.

First let’s observe the failure to launch. A topic that has actually been produced into a feature film starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Why do so many men and women almost self sabotage to keep from stepping into the real world. Well, in the movie, McConaughhey fiance died, which sent him on this spiral of not moving out of his parent’s house. In my opinion, people get comfortable in an environment where they don’t have to try too hard because they can’t handle the pressure that comes with succeeding.

That not wanting to grow up does not just relate to living at home. It also extends into people’s intimate relationships as well. A guy meets a female, but still lives at home with his parents at age 29 years old. The female excepts it at first, but wonders why he won’t move in with her. I tries everything in his power to not have to leave the comforts of his parent’s house. She winds-up leaving him for a more stable man with his own place. Well, why wouldn’t he just move in with her? He’s 29 years old; you would think a man almost 30 years old would move in with his girlfriend.

The reality is no, he just wants to live at home. Why, because at home no dishes to wash, mom makes his meals, mom washes his clothes. He does nothing much for himself. So responsibility becomes the reason for his inability to grow-up. Or is it his fear of launching. Maybe he has this fear that is engrained that is not based around laziness. More so it is a fear that if he launches, he will crash. Not everyone who shoots off the launch pad soars, some people crash.

But isn’t that part of life is crashing? Don’t every successful person have a low moment in their lives where they crash. Resilience; how well you bounce back is the key to overcoming these obstacles. You would think parents would instill these principles in their children. Or maybe they do, and children still carry fear. Now you go, “What 30 year old man is afraid to launch?” “By this age you know failure happens.” “You know the climb to what you want in life takes long hard work.” “So what is it really?”

To further what I said earlier about being comfortable, allowing someone else to take on the responsibility is comfortable, too comfortable. The only problem is that if that person shall get sick or die, you’re screwed. Now you’re forced to live in society that is unfamiliar to you because you never had to hunt for what’s yours. You don’t know real disappointment so you don’t have the ability to bounce back. In the end it’s detrimental and can lead to loss of relationships, friendships, job opportunities, personal issues (depression and loss of confidence), and parental shame. There will always be people with a fear or failure step into the world. Doesn’t have to be you, and can stop tomorrow if you’re willing to put in the work.