TIL DEATH DO US PART, UH, NOT REALLY: WHY THIS PERFECT UNION IS SO HARD

Midsection of Woman Making Heart Shape With Hands

“Forever and ever; or maybe not.”


In our society, we are expected to meet one person in life. Fall in love with that person. Get wed, have children and live like that forever. But is that really who we are as people, or is that the image we portray. I always hear that this union is so perfect in the eyes of God. So what is it about this union that is so hard? Because when you observe the vowels you take, it should make marriage easy. I promise to honor and obey, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, til death to us part. Then we look each other in the eyes and say I do.

But in my opinion, marriage is so hard because you actually don’t want to do the vowels you promise to uphold. Meaning, the human element of who we are don’t want to obey someone, be with them if they are poor, not in good health, or til death. But why is that so hard to say? Why do we trick ourselves into believing this is a union that we want? Now, when you observe marriage, the structure of it makes sense. You’re with one person and one person only. It cuts down on a lot of confusion that would otherwise be present when you’re dealing with multiple people. Meaning, it is a lot easier to have three children with one woman, than three children with three women.

So the structure makes sense, but here is the biological piece. We don’t want to deal with the downside that comes with relationships. Why because the downside is not something that attracts us to the person. Meaning, we were attracted to the healthy person, so why would we want to stay in sickness. You had a job, I don’t want to be around now that you are broke and unemployed. And obeying you, what if there are things in my life I want to accomplish. I can’t do them if you are not comfortable with the decision. Oh, and not to mention til death, how do I know I want to be with you for life.

These are all the feelings that go through our minds when we are married or getting married. So why do we involve ourselves in the union? One reason is because of the societal views. We don’t want to be the outsider in the group who is not getting married. If we’re single and the people around us are getting married, then we begin to get uncomfortable. We feel like we are not living a just life, and need to fit into the group. So we don’t marry because we want to. Moreso we marry so that we can gain the approval of another person or people around us. We feel it is some sort of obligation to those outside of us. But what is another reason we marry?

The other reason we marry even though these feelings are there is because there is someone there to walk through life. You could go out trying to have random hook-ups, but random is not going to care for you as you age. Random is not going to be there for you financially in case of a setback, random is not going to listen to your grievances, and random won’t care if you’re living or dying. So knowing there is someone who will be by your side no matter what is calming to the mind. There are days you don’t want to be around that person and they around you. But they always are there when you need them.

In the end, people marry even if they hold these internal feelings because it hurts to walk life alone. Being alone with no one to share your life with is tough. It’s more than just a love life or having fun. They do so because at the end of life, if you and this person is still alive, someone will be there to care for you, when no one else will. So overall, to the people who marry, it’s worth it.


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FRIENDS, FOLLOWS, AND LIKES: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO VALIDATED THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA

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“You don’t know them, they don’t know you, but they’re your friends.”


10,000 friends on Facebook, 1 million Instagram & Twitter followers, with 5 – 10 million likes generated. We all want these stats for our social media circles. But what does it all mean in the end. It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know what to do with all this media attention. For most people, they have these social circles on the web so they can be validated for a comment or picture they post to the internet. But for those chosen few, it becomes a business opportunity to better themselves in life. There is always an opportunity somewhere, you just have to go get it. But why do we care so much about our social media following.

Let’s take a look from a business perspective. There are advertising companies that will dish out big money for people who have a massive following. And when I say massive, I am talking well over 10 million followers just on Instagram alone. Not to mention all the other platforms you have on social media. But since I brought up Instagram, there are Image result for instagram moneycompanies that may pay $1,500 to $5,000 for a single picture posted to your Instagram account. So if you’re posting a few times a month, you can generate a really good income. The Kardashian-Jenner girls probably make the most money. It has been speculated they can make upwards of $500,000 for a single Instagram post. But that’s expected when they have 75 to 100 million followers on just Instagram per sister.

Then, there is the other side of social media. That is the idea of being validated with no monetary income. These are people who enjoy the idea of getting multiple likes on a comment. Or making what they think is a poignant statement and people piggy backing off of that statment. Instead of people verbally complementing you, we are now settling for likes. Instead of becoming a leader, we are now all followers. I always find it interesting when I hear people who have no social media. It’s almost archaic for you not to exist in this space. Yet with all this needing to be validating , what are the psychological implications of social media. What are the long term effects of needing so much validation?

For starters, social media gives people who otherwise wouldn’t have a voice the ability to voice a concern. Problem is that people tend to abuse the power and jump on the bandwagon of causes that effect the opposition’s careers. It has also served as platforms where people spread their inner most disdain and hate. Implications of this shows they are hurt and need Related imagesomeone to talk to in life. It has given the people with no power, the power to push agendas forward. But we are becoming more self-conscious because we are putting our physical selves out there for judgement. We are more impersonal because human to human contact is rendered obsolete. And even sex has become desensitizing because we are inundated with so much sexual imagery.

In the end, validation should come from the inside out. Too many people have become too concerned with what others think, and our own views of self have taken a back seat. From over-filtering photos so it gives you a more flawless look on Instagram, to creating profile descriptions of yourself that are not even remotely close who you are in life. We have all heard that term fake it until you make it. But the fictitious lives we lead are so over the top, that we would rather fake it and not make it. Because the look of making it has become far more greater than actually having it.


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