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“Tell them so they don’t figure out the hard way.”

Ever since I was a child, my mother made it her business to prepare my and sisters and I for the world ahead. And it was quite helpful, as I can tell you so far everything I was taught I have experienced. From dealing with people who try to get over, to dealing with jobs and the stress that comes with that as well. But my question which ties into the topic today is, why don’t more parents prepare their children for the real world? And I don’t mean raising them to be responsible and hard working. I’m talking about, with what you experience. Tell them in detail how society has impacted your life, and the real relationships you’ll encounter in adulthood. Most parents either tell children, “You’ll see,” or “work hard.” But these are very vague responses. They don’t provide much insight.

And what do I mean by providing a little more insight. Tell children how, especially when you get out of school, that your degree alone won’t help them get a job. Tell them how when you get out, chances are, you’re going to be working a job you hate initially. Landing a dream job takes more skills and more work. Explain to them how your supervisor may ask you to do something, and when you do that order in which you were given, the order fails. Then instead of the boss taking respectability for being wrong, they transfer blame onto you. Because their incompetence will cost them their job, they have to make you look stupid. And you can’t flip out on them because you will lose your job, and you need your job. So you learn to suck it up even when you’re right, and you grow to resent your job. Tell them the whole game.

Explain to them when they get in relationships that there is a control aspect to being in the relationship. Someone may want to have the upper hand in your life just because they are with you. And this may require detaching from them, and starting fresh with someone else. Tell your child how emotional people get once they start having sex, and how someone might try to use this as a means of controlling you as well. Know when to get out of a toxic situation and how. But while you’re teaching them this, make sure to tell them that you should never give anyone any bit of your time not willing to reciprocate. You don’t want to be your child’s friend, but make them realize they should come to you before their friend because you and only you are in their best interest. Also tell them how to manage their finances.

Teach your child that when you get a check, you don’t run to the store and spend, spend, spend. Living for today and not tomorrow is not smart. We might not wake up tomorrow is a reality, but plan for tomorrow, hell even next week even if it doesn’t happen. Money can be considered the root of all evil, but you need it to survive. So explain how you may or may not need wealth, but you don’t want poverty. And tell them how they can be somewhere in the middle. Teach them to know what they’re getting into before they get involved. Meaning, if you are comfortable with all the risk of making a decision, make it, but also live with it. And in the end, everything I have said was explained to me by my mother growing up. She spoke to her children like adults, not like her kids. We knew because she told us; so now I ask you, “Do you tell yours the truth?” (PERSONAL WEBSITE) (FAN PAGE)   

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“Bad parenting can be just as bad as absentee parenting.”

When a child is growing up, they need some form of structure in their lives. The reason being is that they don’t understand the world they’re up against. They think they know what’s out here, but in reality, children have no clue. So when you see parents who are dropping the ball when they know the odds their children are up against, it can be quite irritating. I was watching a video someone posted on Facebook regarding a mother not happy with her child’s boss at a fast food restaurant. The mom came to the job and told the supervisor that he was to no longer converse with her daughter. There is a serious underlying problem with this way of thinking.

For starters, your daughter will get a chance to see that when you don’t want to deal with someone on a job you can just disconnect. And the problem is that you are not going to like everyone you work with. You’re not going to get along with everyone you work with. The reality is that too bad, suck it up. I’m sure we would love to come to work and tell the supervisor, “Sorry, not interested in talking.” How amazing, I work for you, yet I’m going to tell you when I want to converse. You’re not going to get cooperation, you’re getting a foot in the ass, and out the front door you go.

But there is another problem with this method of parenting. It also allows the kid to see that no matter what, mom and/or dad is going to bail them out of trouble. They don’t have to own up to anything in life. It’s always someone else who is in the wrong. Then, once you become an adult, and mommy and daddy can no longer fight your battles you fail in life. If you can’t handle a fast food manager that you don’t like, wait until you step into the dominant society. The society we live in is not going to deal you going to grab your parent when something is wrong. You have to learn how to deal with problems on your own.

And that’s my problem with parents who teach this to their children. They work in the real world, yet they teach these unrealistic ways of thinking and behaving to their children. And unless you’re prepared to hire them and give them a job, you have to teach them to survive in this world. In the end, that’s the problem with parents teaching all the above to their children. Why, well because the world we live in don’t care. Society could care less about who mommy and daddy are; show up to work to work or go home. This whole take me as I am does not fly in society. No one has to outright accept you. You earn the respect of people it’s not a given. Learn what life is about, now, so you don’t have to learn the hard way later. 

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“Be great to them and they’ll be good to themselves.”

In my youth, my mother always wanted to instill in her children that we were capable of accomplishing anything in life. It allowed us to enter the world ready to pursue whatever endeavor we chose. Well, what was her technique; is there even one. Did she do anything with her children that any other parent wasn’t doing? Or was she doing something that every parent just does? Maybe it could have come from how she was raised. Or maybe it was a combination of how she was raised and her own spin to parenting. These are a few of the questions asked from people as it pertains to parents who seek to boost their children’s confidence.

One way parents boost confidence in their children is to go to work and come every day. That consistency makes children know they can not only depend on you, but also gives them a blue print in their own lives. Consistency is important because anything you perform long enough and work each time at, you’ll become great at it. Along with the consistency is informing your children they can be anything they set their minds to in life. But not just saying, showing it by not letting them give up. Letting them know failure happens in life, but to keep persevering.

Another way to boost that confidence in children is to place them in schools around good kids. Kids who are being taught to head in the same direction in life as your child. My entire life my mother placed my sisters and I in good schools. We were always around kids that thought about their futures. It gave you something to think about. The schools also were places where kids could thrive in their learning environments. So many other students in other schools were focused on peer pressure and impressing people around them. My mother put her kids in schools to challenge the ways of the crowd. But what other ways can parents build confidence.

A major way to build confidence is through the idea that confident parents confidently teach. Parents who are not afraid to step into the world themselves are in a position to raise confident kids. When children see you walk outside every morning with your head high they feel they can do the same. Doesn’t matter if you’re having a bad day. The idea is to let them see strength. Because once they see that you are unsure about something they will start to second guess themselves. See, in the end, there is a lot of psychology in parenting. The idea is to get them to believe they can do anything in life without even thinking about it. Rear them at a young age knowing that failure is not an option. 

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