“Why hold on when you don’t need to do so?”
Holding on to internalized pain is something that so many people do on a daily basis. And I am not referring to the people who seek out therapy as means of getting out of a dark place. I am referring to the people who can change their lives. The people who can move from a place of pain and live a good life on the other side. They refuse to do so because in some weird way it makes them unique to say that they have this problem. It’s a way to get attention from those around them. And if they cure themselves of whatever it is they’re going through, then what are they to do now. So they hold on to their problems because they never want to feel like they’re not special.
Only problem with these types of people is that they actually start to annoy the ones close to them. At first, everyone was trying to help them. And loving the attention makes this person stay in that mind-frame. But after a while, those that cared about you will eventually give you an automaton. That’s when you realized that you have gone from being someone they wanted to help to a burden on the family. This could ultimately be the wake up call that some people need in life. But there are still others that are the “me” people who you just have to separate yourself from; for good. They will only further cause you to become more enraged by their lack of taking responsibility for their actions. Now my question is, “Where does it come from within that makes a person want to hold on to pain besides a fear of not being special anymore?”
Another reason people who can change choose to still hold on is because once you release you’re expected to do better in life. Putting yourself in the know means leaving behind how you once thought to move into this new space of peace. So many want to not only stay in their place of turmoil, but want you to join them. Now why would anyone want someone else or many people to join them in turmoil? The reason being that no one wants to live alone wallowing in in their own garbage. They love to see not only other people with them, but other people who are successful.And success is important because if the once successful person is now wallowing in garbage, now that is confirmation in the hurt person’s head that thank God they didn’t attempt at life to change. Because in the end, who truly want to look in the mirror and say I have a problem and it starts with me. Yet, the more you are able to, the more you move into a space of internal peace.
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“We are endowed with good; wish I knew how it got there.”
A homeless man asking for spare change, and we give our last to him. A car careens off the side of the road. A mother and child in the car, and someone sacrifice their own lives to save the two. Natural disasters take place, and neighbors go from house to house to make sure people are alive despite their own homes in ruins. What makes us do it? What makes us put others before ourselves? Is it something that we are born with, or do we learn this trait? Is it of religious sentiment or is there a scientific reason for our goodness? In my attempt to understand, I have come up with a few reasons as to why.
For starters, you have the religious reasons behind why people do good. No matter your religious background, everyone speaks of their good coming from something divine. People are deep in faith say that it must be of some deity force making us what we are. Because if not for him, we would not be as good as we are capable of being. To those of faith, what would man really be like without God. There would not be a care in the world, and those who are less fortunate would have less than they already have now. Is there some truth to this? Look at places like Salvation Army all the up to the Vatican. These organizations have given back so much in the name of God. So there must be some truth to the religious belief. But what about the other side of the what makes man good?
Those of the more scientific beliefs feel like we have this ingrained natural reaction to those in need. And it comes from the feeling of others wanting to help us in our own time of need. But more so it’s the reason man has lasted this long on Earth. Even through the wars and conflict we have still managed to last because of how we protect each other. It’s that natural instinct we have to spring into action when a tragic event is taking place or someone who is without food to eat. We see that it could easily be ourselves and step in to help. Now, another question remains, will we ever figure out why we help others in society?
See, in the end, I think so many people help because it makes them feel good. There is nothing like being in a position to help someone that is less fortunate than yourself. No one can explain why the feeling is there because maybe that is a natural phenomenon itself. But whatever the case may be, that feeling of giving will always make people feel an inner greatness and peace.