IS IT FOR THEM OR YOU: PARENTS WHO WANT THEIR CHILDREN TO BE WHAT THEY WEREN’T

 

Girl Playing Golf

“Is it for them or you?”


overbearing parents

Growing up for me playing sports, my mother was involved, but for the most part it was up to me to play. She wasn’t to into me playing unless I wanted to play. But there were the parents growing up that you could clearly tell it was all for them. They might have been good when they were younger and never made it. Or they see the potential in their child that they didn’t have and want them to play. So now, they invest all their time into the kid to try to live vicariously through the child. It gives them an excuse to never have to move on in life past their time in sports.

way too pushy

Screaming at the kid and cursing, but for what? It seems to be kind of crazy when you think about it. And what’s even more unfortunate the kid might have been into the sport had the parent not have been so overbearing. Now, it seems like more of a job than having fun. And when the fun is gone, that is when you don’t want to play anymore. And how is it that a parent can take the fun out of the sport for the child. It’s because somewhere along the parent saw the kid had some sort of skill and over the top. That is how they ruined it.

i’m all in

When I played sports my mother bought the cleats for football and that was it. But you have parents who buy the cleats, gloves, sunglasses, visors, sneakers and socks, hats, and coats. They go all out like the kid is already in the pros. And it becomes and entire family affair. Even some parents go as far to dress their daughters up when the son is playing football in cheerleading outfits. It’s fine if it’s all in fun. But there are some parents where it means business. And even as a child when I played it seemed odd to see all this transpire. parents dipping deep into their banks accounts hoping it pays them back in the form of the kid going into the pros.


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HARNESS THEIR SKILL, NOT FORCE YOUR WILL: PARENTS WHO WANT THEIR CHILDREN TO BE WHAT THEY WANT THEM TO BE.

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“They are not you, stop trying to make them you.”

For so many parents, they feel that telling their child what they’re going to do is what’s best for them. And most of the time, they’d be right for doing so. The only problem is that when a child decides to pursue a career that the parent is not comfortable with, then what? Do you think it’s your job to force your child into a certain career path? Do you feel you know what’s best for them in life? Do you think your child does not have the ability to make their own decisions, that’s why you’re there to guide them? And under normal circumstances, you would be right about all the questions I have just asked. But, what is meant by normal circumstances?

Normal circumstances relate to choices you want your child to make which will keep them safe and out of trouble. But what does them pursuing a certain career path and trouble have to do with anything? This is where parents have to release the reigns and allow their child entry into society on their own. Yet it’s still hard for some. And I don’t mean letting go like afraid for them to step into the world. I’m talking you as a parent enforcing your will onto them. Because you think that just because you raised them you know anything about them. As a matter of fact, I’m willing to bet you that you know very little about your child. Why? Because they allow you to see what they want you to see. It’s one of the reasons why parents are so shocked when incidents happen and they say, “Not my kid.”

Parents who force their will tend to not cultivate their child’s strengths along with the weaknesses. They don’t acknowledge a skill that is exemplary¬†of their child. It’s choose this career, otherwise I can’t help you as your parent. How do you know your child wants this out of life? Or better yet, how do you even know that your child is good enough to succeed in what you want them to do? We all know that success comes from working hard, but is that all? Those super performers are the ones who want it more. Is this your child; a super performer? You see it in youth sports. The parent/s that come to the game like their child¬†has already made it pro. They bring a barrage of beverages and supplies for their kid. Yet, their child is not the least bit athletic. They want their children to be them and/or what they want. Thinking it’ll make them a good parent, yet they’re actually more of a hindrance.

I guess in the end, the hardest job of a parent is knowing when to let go. Let go and let your children build their own lives. You want them to make their own decisions. Why? Because you are not prepared to be held responsible for them being unhappy in life. You’re quick to say, your happiness is not my problem. Then if that’s the case, neither is your opinion to me. But, you have parents that just flat out want the control. If they have nothing to control, then their lives aren’t complete. So their children are that piece of control they need. In this case it’s up to the child when they become and adult. When the child is an adult they have be willing to disobey their parent and go their own way. But, be ready to not accept your parent’s help. Yet, when you do succeed, they’ll respect you more.