“You must be ready to miss a lot.”
give it up
So many young people want to have all this success, but what are you willing to give up to get to that point. Because in order to establish yourself in your career, you must really be willing to put in a lot of effort and time. And that means forgoing the fun now to put in for fun later. This is where having a career is so hard for so many people. Because this means building which is going to cut into your social life. And what young person really want to give up their social lives? Yet there is so much that is wanted from life that requires giving life up. So, you think you have what it takes, here is an insight into the climb.
relationships are for lames
Depending on the career path you choose, you better have a pretty understanding partner. Because if you don’t you will lose them and fast. Or, you might find yourself having to give up on your career goals. You will be put in that position since one of them is going to get in the way of the other. They need to understand before even really getting too deep into the relationship what it is you do. They need to know that your time is needed in this other area and that they need to be good without you at times. Not something that is going to go over with too many people. You’ll lose people in life. And that is something you’ll have to just deal with in your pursuit. Everyone is not meant to be in your life on the climb. So choose the people around you wisely.
social gatherings are for networking only
You want to go out for drinks, fine, make sure it’s a place where like minded people will be gathering so it can advance your career. Going to the club to just dance and drink, or looking around for random hookups are not on the list of priorities at this point. You should be thinking about how you’re going to position yourself in this space so that people know who you are, and will aid you in building your brand and/or profile. And when you are not at one of these social gatherings, then it’s in your best interest to not even be out and about.
be broke investing in you
So many people say they don’t have the money to build something for themselves. But if I were to setup and excel spreadsheet of their expenses, I would see something sinister. And that is the allocation of their funds in areas that are not the least bit important. I don’t have the money, but I have a new $1200 iPhone. “Well, there is a payment option for the phone.” Fine, get a cheaper phone, and the payment option for that piece of technology, transfer it elsewhere. “I need a dependable car.” Fine, but why drive a BMW or Mercedes with a high car payment. Get yourself a Ford or GM, with payments of just over $100 per month instead of $500 or $600. You don’t need a luxury vehicle for it to be depended upon. So it is not affordability, but people’s constant need to swipe a credit card for their wants. And you have to eliminate wants from life, unless their is a payment contributing to your overall success.
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“You want it, go get it; no one owes you anything.”
Growing up being babysat by my grandmother and great grandmother, you learn a lot about how they had to grow up during their time periods. You were expected to go into the world and work your behind off, no excuses. And these were people coming out of Jim Crow south where opportunities were so vastly scarce for African Americans. See, my great grandmother was part of the G.I. Generation and my grandmother was a member of the Silent Generation. Two back to back tough generations in the United States of hard working Americans. Since both of them have passed away, I often think about how they would view so much of what’s going on right now with regards to every kid getting a trophy. To an extent I know how they felt, because I have always heard no one owes you anything in this world.
So what has taken hold that makes so many of a young generation feel they are owed something in life? One of the problems is this whole notion that my 75% is your 100%. And the underlying issue is that when we both step out into society, your 75% is 75% and my 100% will propel me straight pass you. Then, the person who didn’t put forth the effort will live out their lives in bitterness. And a lot of the downward spiral could come from every kid gets trophy and making all young people believe they’re special. So when you step out into the world you have these visions for how your life and life itself is supposed to work and it just doesn’t work like that; it’s more complex. There is no real trajectory, and you could be taken anywhere at any point in time.
For those that have navigated the landscape and found their way into a stable situation, the thought is you’re supposed to reach back and help. And yes, if you are in a position to help that most are not; if you possess a certain degree of intellectualism, then you should want to help. But understand the difference between you should want to help and you should help. You should want is clearly a voluntary choice, while should help is more geared toward who owes you. Life is a place where you go out and try to stake your own claim. Too many people think that something is allotted to them by way of existing in this country. Which brings me to another reason why someone may feel it’s the successful person’s duty.
There is another piece to this give me something for nothing mentality and that is the welfare system. Men and women had it hard wired into the minds of their children that you had to get out and work. But the introduction of the welfare system made it possible for the government to dole out payment to every woman raising a child as a single parent without the father present. What was supposed to be aid as a stepping stone to help women get on their feet has inevitably turned into a crutch. The reality is, if no gives you even a slice of bread, it’s not their job to do so. That was understood over my parent’s generation and prior. But somewhere down the line we became comfortable as a country and lost that work ethic. In the end, no one not only owes you anything, but help is voluntary. Even if they never acknowledge you, it’s still on you to go get what’s yours in this world.
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“We are endowed with good; wish I knew how it got there.”
A homeless man asking for spare change, and we give our last to him. A car careens off the side of the road. A mother and child in the car, and someone sacrifice their own lives to save the two. Natural disasters take place, and neighbors go from house to house to make sure people are alive despite their own homes in ruins. What makes us do it? What makes us put others before ourselves? Is it something that we are born with, or do we learn this trait? Is it of religious sentiment or is there a scientific reason for our goodness? In my attempt to understand, I have come up with a few reasons as to why.
For starters, you have the religious reasons behind why people do good. No matter your religious background, everyone speaks of their good coming from something divine. People are deep in faith say that it must be of some deity force making us what we are. Because if not for him, we would not be as good as we are capable of being. To those of faith, what would man really be like without God. There would not be a care in the world, and those who are less fortunate would have less than they already have now. Is there some truth to this? Look at places like Salvation Army all the up to the Vatican. These organizations have given back so much in the name of God. So there must be some truth to the religious belief. But what about the other side of the what makes man good?
Those of the more scientific beliefs feel like we have this ingrained natural reaction to those in need. And it comes from the feeling of others wanting to help us in our own time of need. But more so it’s the reason man has lasted this long on Earth. Even through the wars and conflict we have still managed to last because of how we protect each other. It’s that natural instinct we have to spring into action when a tragic event is taking place or someone who is without food to eat. We see that it could easily be ourselves and step in to help. Now, another question remains, will we ever figure out why we help others in society?
See, in the end, I think so many people help because it makes them feel good. There is nothing like being in a position to help someone that is less fortunate than yourself. No one can explain why the feeling is there because maybe that is a natural phenomenon itself. But whatever the case may be, that feeling of giving will always make people feel an inner greatness and peace.