GONE TOO SOON: HOW LOSING SOMEONE WHO IS YOUNG MAKES YOU LOOK AT LIFE CLOSER

Greyscale Photography of Tombstones in a Cemetery

“Here one minute and gone the next.”


No one wants to think of the day in which they will no longer be here on Earth. We dread that moment, but it won’t even be something we realize. We will just be gone, and that’s it. But our family and friends will hopefully make sure our name stays around forever. And another aspect of living and dying we hope is the belief that we will make it to a great age. I recently saw a post on my Facebook where someone I knew through passing, died this week. Only in his late twenties, it can shake you up when you hear this type of tragedy. Because I am abut to be thirty years old next month. And you never know when that day will be your last.

No one wants to think about that day especially when you’re young. We have all these visions of our lives once we reach an old age. We all hope that someone will be with us when we do pass along. But no one is ready to experience being told they only have a small time on this planet in their twenties. There are even people who die at younger ages. When you hear about a teenager dying it’s even more tragic. But what tends to be more shocking is once you find out how someone has died. Anytime I hear of a young person dying of natural causes, it always blows my mind. Especially if the person was around my age. You think to yourself, we are the same age and just passed unexpected. What is that about? How did that transpire?

It’s for those reasons we have a sense of urgency in life. So that whenever we do pass along, whatever we have done up to this point meant something. And that is something that terrifies people as much as dying. Which is dying and not even achieving close to what it is you set out to accomplish. There is this massive void you feel exist in your life. But if you have accomplished so much, and/or living the life you want, then can we honestly say this is a tragedy. You have people who live their life to the fullest, so their life was full of meaning. My great-grandmother passed away back in 2010. She was born in the year 1914. Now you’re talking a long life. I can’t imagine if I live that long what I would witness. Hence is another reason we aim for longevity. The longer we live, the more we are able to cope with our mortality.

In the end, no one wants to think about the day when they die. It’s final, and the only thing in life that is guaranteed. The eternal aspect creeps people out, yet there is something also so soothing and calming to the mind knowing that hardships and struggles are over. I guess this is why people cling so tight to religion because it gives us that feeling there is more after we leave here; thus making it easier to cope with our own mortality.


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PREPARATION: HANDLING DEATH OF LOVED ONES

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“Are you ready?”

Most people take for granted that their loved ones will be here every single day. Are any us prepared for the loss of a relative? Are you ready for your child or parent to leave? I know asking about such a tough subject conjures up so many feelings. But the question is still open for being ready. But ready for what? We know that no one is ready to lose anyone, but what should you really be preparing for. You should be preparing for the cost associated with burying them, the emotional stress that comes with losing them, paying any debts the person left behind, and the moving on process.

Well, how should you ready yourself for when the person dies when burying this person. And I don’t mean burying them, I mean the cost associated with the death. Do you have the money in your will? Do you come from a family that could pay for a death? This is the initial problem people run in to if who are from a family that does not have the means. It can cost thousands of dollars to bury a relative. But that’s a lot of money for middle class to pay for, not to mention poor people.

But what about other financial concerns such as the debt that is associated with people who pass away. You see, their issues are over because they’re deceased and yours as their family is about to start. Why because if they have any outstanding debts you could be the heir to that debt. So hey, watch what you sign thinking the person has money in their will. You might wind-up in debt yourself trying to pay off their debts. Trust and believe that emotional loss could go away fast once you find out that person owes a boatload of money to debtors. But wait a minute, what about other problems associated with being ready for someone’s death.

What about the emotional concerns that come with hearing the initial news. How did we forget to include this one. How do you process the information that you have just heard? Sorry for your loss. Sorry, uh is that all sorry. I just lost someone close to me and that’s all I get is a sorry. But what can they say? But what about the person who breaks the news that you’ve lost your relative? Trust and believe that it makes them uncomfortable as well. So where do you go from here, which leads into the next concern of readiness.

The last stage would be the moving on process. How do you move on in the case that a person dies who is close to you? The day after the funeral, you might have to go to work. How do you deal with getting your life back in track? If you lose a cousin, aunt, or uncle, maybe it’s easier to move forward. But in the case of a  parent or even a child, it’s a lot harder to move forward. In the end, there is a preparation for death that is necessary. But how do you tackle this issue if the person is not sick. Whatever the case, you have to prepare because you never know what could come of the situation.