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“Focus isn’t fun, but necessary.”

staying up late

You ever see the kid growing up in school who took part in all the after school programs? They were in the science fair, and the chess club, and the glee club. And that is what success truly looks like. It’s the working after work that will make you better at what you do. Most kids leave school and go home to watch television. But then what happens, they become adults who do the same thing. These adults get off of work and come home to a television like when they were kids. And the ones that work after hours are generally the people who accomplish their goals. And why do you have to stay behind and work extra time?

expert in field or task

When you are working your job everyday for years, are you paying attention to the work, or are you just punching a clock? Because if all you are doing is going to work and coming home, you’re most likely not going fair in life. You have to do more, and that is something that the popular kid in school never really did. They were able to skate through life with just charm. But as an adult, charm will only get you so far. You need productivity, but what is hat for someone who never knew real productive societal work. Yeah, sure, their parents gave them chores, so they know how to take orders. But reaching further in your career means going outside the natural order. But how do you do so when all you know is orders?

we want to all fit in

No one want to be an outsider in life. But in order to be successful sometimes you have to step outside the group, which is something so many don’t want to do. Popular people want to have friends even if the friends are not the most genuine of people. But the people who want to be successful chase quality no quantity. And just because you have people around you don’t mean they should occupy your space. So being lame actually makes you a winner in life because you have to step outside your inner circle. And that means at times making yourself stand out against what others are doing. But, once again, we want to fit in. But what crowd are you fitting into, that you want so desperately to be apart of?

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“Stuck between what they think and how I think.”

Trying to please other people or live by how they view you is a struggle that most of us deal with on a daily basis. But if you’re one of the the few that are not as caught up in how others perceive you, you might have a happier life than most. And that happiness could be the main factor in your success in life. But what is it that makes people so stuck on what others think of them? Why do they need so many people’s approval before they start anything in life? It’s this need to fit into a world that might not even be doing you a favor. Yet you want so desperately to fit into this space.

One of the reasons people work to fit into this space is because as a species, we yearn for acceptance. But most of all, we want some form of companionship. It does not necessarily have to be some intimate relationship. But just enough so you don’t feel alone in the world. That lonesome feeling is why you need that other person or people’s input. Going through this world alone is one of the toughest aspects of facing life. You don’t even have to be dealing with a serious financial or health issue. We as humans are just built to want someone close to us. Someone who will talk to us when there is something bothering us. And who+ are you to communicate with when you’re alone?

Another reason we seek to gain the acceptance of other people is to not be looked at as an outsider. This is an action in our lives that adolescence deal with for the most part. But it doesn’t stop there; it goes into adulthood. You actually don’t start not caring how people feel until you’re almost done with life. But why not when you’re young? Why not have it built into your mind that this is who I am, and that’s that? Well, it has a lot to do with self-awareness. We are quite unaware of ourselves and lack a real defense mechanism. So we are not able to fend off the people who might look at us a certain way. Instead of making people accept you for you, and if they don’t get rid of them, we please them. Then again, the feat of listening to yourself and not others becomes real tough when it’s coming from family.

Here is the hardest part, going against your parent’s wishes. You have been taught since you were a child that going against what your parents want you do is being disobedient. But like I said in prior posts, parents know what’s good for in childhood, not as an adult. Yet when you become an adult it’s normal for them to want to steer you in a certain direction. But what if you found what you love elsewhere? Now you’re in this weird position on who to follow. You’re stuck on following your inner self or your parents. But ultimately, the choice will be up to you. See, in the end, we want to please too many people. Yet, how many people are trying to bend over backward to please you? You have to do what’s best for you, and you only. Because you’re the only one responsible for your success and happiness. (PERSONAL WEBSITE) (FAN PAGE)   

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“How do you fit in?”

Have you ever been on a job and got the feeling that everyone in the room has a script of some sort except for you? You’ve been through it, the boss tells a joke and the whole room ignites into laughter. That’s when you realize that nothing can possibly be that funny. But more so, not only is the boss not a funny guy, everyone has this script. How did everyone in the room know that it was time to laugh? How did everyone in the room know when you should stop? And how did everyone carry the same exact feel for funny. This is not a comedy show; people who attend stand up shows know that we are all here to see our favorite comedian so the laughter is normal. But your boss is not a professional stand-up, so why laugh?

To get ahead that’s why; you want to climb the ladder. Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that in order to climb the corporate ladder I have to laugh at my bosses stupid jokes. Or I can’t suggest an idea that could help a situation out of fear it may make the boss look incompetent. The culture in a place like that can make anyone not want to be there. Yet at a young age, children are encouraged to go work for an organization. Then once you learn the workplace dynamics, it makes you not want to be in the environment. That was my life; and for a brief moment, let me take you through my life.

As a middle school kid, I wanted to attend business school. I admired men who have been successful in business because of their out of work initiatives as well internal. But when I became an adult an realized what I would have to be to fit into that world, it made me realized it wasn’t worth it. I would much rather have a voice in my own space than to feel like I have to sacrifice my self respect and identity to have something. Now most people would say, “Who told you that?” No one told me that, you can feel it. When you’re allowed to see two men making a mistake, yet you only are able to chastise one of them, that’s why. When my days are spent trying to make you like me instead of connecting to people outside, when you want to control how I communicate with people, I am compromising far too much.

When I look at my life from age 12 to about 22 years of age, I feel sometimes like I threw it away. I grew up poor and didn’t realize the real environment so I had these unrealistic expectations working for an organization. Wanting a voice to express myself was the biggest career goal for me in life. Not having to filter every single word, while a guy at the top feels he can. Yet no man nor woman earns the right to have an opinion. Having an opinion is your choice, but working in certain environments people make you feel like it’s a privilege.

In the end, when you’re in an environment where you feel uncomfortable to the point you’re depressed being there, remove yourself. Don’t stay any longer because you’re not going to be happy. It’s crazy that since childhood we all have this idealistic way of looking at the world. Then we become adults and see it for what it really is. That’s not to say working for an organization is a bad thing. I just think that working for an organization is not for me. I would much rather have a career working independently making a little less money than to be in an organization working for more.