PARENTAL BEHAVIOR: WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH HOW YOU VERBALLY COMMUNICATE RESPECT TO THE OTHER PARENT

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“They see and hear everything, so be careful how you speak.”


For me growing up, I saw my mother and father have disagreements. Not understanding at my age that arguing between adults is normal; especially when children are involved. And the way you communicate those disagreements have a major impact on young kids, all the way into their adulthood. So with that said, how should parents go about channeling their emotions, especially when the kids are in the vicinity? What are key mistakes that adults make when trying to win an argument over the other person? Or not just an argument, but what about the upper hand. Is it always important to win an argument, or is it best sometimes to just walk away? Let’s observe mistakes both men and women make during disagreements.

As it pertains to the man, we make some errors when trying to win over an argument. One of the more common errors is using our ability to go higher in yelling in an argument. Men are physically stronger, we’re known to dominate over the conversation. We take this dominance stance to show that we are the ones in control. It’s this nature driven response, especially if we fill we are losing control of the argument. But the biggest mistake we make is trying to use vulgar language to get our point across. Using expletives, especially calling the mother out of her name, is such a deflating and quick route to take in winning the conversation. But let me remind you, this isn’t a one way street.

On the part of the woman, the clear mistakes that a woman make is number one, belittling the father. Especially, when children are around, it sends a dangerous message that there is a clear lack of respect for the father. It also lets the kid see how they can behave when they get emotional as well. But another clear mistake women make is saying that these are their kids. Removing the father from the equation as if they have no voice in raising kids, just because she gave birth. This also sends a message that you have no real purpose. Just the person who provided the other DNA that the child is endowed with. After that, you don’t have a real duty or obligation, except to be the financial contributor.

Now, as it pertains to the children in the situation, they are watching and listening to both of you. And based on how you two communicate, the children can use this verbal communication to their advantage. And while the parents bicker between the two of them, the kid is able to live their lives how they see fit. Until something bad takes place, and both parents are left with their hands in the air because it’s partly their fault. While they were busy arguing and fighting, there was no guidance in the kid’s life because the two parents wanted to prove each other wrong. In the end, that’s the main reason there needs to be a civil form of communication between parents. Not just for the sake of their relationship, but for the child/children who may be nearby; watching and listening.


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ACCEPTANCE VERSUS TOLERANCE: HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPECTED

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“I want love by choice not force.”


In America today, more than ever we are stressing the tolerance of other groups of people. People who you may not agree with, yet you leave them to their own devices to be them. Me on the other hand, I have a different view of the topic at hand. Me myself, I would rather be accepted than to be tolerated in America. What is the difference between being accepted and tolerated? To accept someone is to celebrate them in all they have to give. To tolerate someone is to only accept them by means of force. We push people to have tolerance while acceptance is more pure. Why is this so important today?

Because with the introduction of our new Commander and Chief Donald J. Trump, people feel like he’s very insensitive to certain ethnic groups. Mainly people in the Middle Eastern communities and Hispanics. But when I hear people say that they tolerate a group of people it’s still similar to saying you’re not fond of a group of people. Now, let’s not get that confused with hate. Notice I said it is similar, but not the same. And I say similar Woman in Blue Hijabbecause the similar reasons he disagrees with a group is the similar reasons why people tolerate a group. For example, he says we need to vet countries where radical Islamic extremists are coming from entering the United States. Then people say I disagree with how Islam treats it’s women, yet I tolerate their culture.

You’re similar in that your feelings toward them are strong, maybe not on his level, but it’s there. It’s harder to say you accept Islam because you do disagree with some of its principles. Yet no one wants to think they agree with him on any level. But let’s be clear, is it people who accept and or tolerate communities that they gentrify. No, the goal is to remove those living their and make way for their families. This is on par with the same racial sentiment you’re accusing the president of conducting himself in, in our country. See, I have a different perspective on the whole acceptance versus tolerance belief. Like I said before, I would much rather be celebrated because it’s pure.

Now here is something interesting I can share with you regarding the acceptance. People treat you in the manner in which not only you carry yourself, but how you think someone else sees you. So you are hurt when not accepted because you’ve based your identity off of someone who ultimately does not respect you. And if you’re seeking validation from someone that does not respect you, they’ll see it and use it against you. Still, people fight for the tolerance. Then again, is all tolerance bad? Am I looking at this tolerance word with too much conviction? Let’s analyze the other side.

Tolerance is me not accepting something you say or do, a practice you are conducting yourself in, but I can still respect you enough to not hate you. Meaning, I believe you can be tolerant to gay marriage, yet not hate gays. I don’t believe you should have the choice in them getting married and I Image result for rainbow flagdon’t condone violence against someone living how they choose to live. But I don’t think we should live in a society where are forced to agree. And as long as we can disagree and continue, there is nothing wrong with opposing. Now, with that viewpoint you won’t reach everyone, but as long as people know where you stand, that is key.

In the end, knowing where people stand is the tough part. We live in a country where everyone says the right thing. And a lot of that comes from fear of losing something. So we are becoming a nation where we teach each other how to lie to one another. I don’t want you to lie about how you feel toward me. And if you don’t like something, express your right to not be involved in what the person is doing. Because using means of force will only result in more conflict and further alienation.


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DEAF EARS: Protesting Those for the Sake of Protesting

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“Why we march.”

In the recent years, people have protested more so than years prior, but why? Why are people so quick to protest? Why are people so quick to attack someone for even having a difference of opinion? A lot of it comes from the idea that people want to act as if they are accomplishing something. But who would feel good about attacking someone even if it’s something mundane. This says a lot about how people sees themselves. Well how do we see ourselves. There are a number of reasons as to why.

One reason has to do with how mundane our day-to-day lives are in society. We get up, go to work, have lunch, work some more, then home. Eat some dinner, watch TV, then off to sleep. This is 5 days a week, lounge around Saturday, and prepare next week on Sunday night. With little going on in your life, it gives you time to think. And when there is nothing to do but think, the mind starts to work. And once that mind gets going, who knows what you’ll come up with. But the protesting comes out of I don’t like something, let me ruin it because what else do I have going on in the world. Everyone else is living their lives, but if your life is futile, you have time to protest.

Let’s say the person who you attack has the guts to say I am not bowing down, it makes people protest harder. Now, should we protest harder, yes when it is warranted to do so. But in today’s society, we will march for anything. And you have to ask the question: Does everything offend you, really, everything? Case in point, a celebrity post their lifestyle on social media and people flip out. Why because they look at their own lives and can’t understand why they aren’t doing more. Well if you put more time into you as you do everyone else you could. But it’s easier to complain than it is to do something about your situation.

Another reason we protest is because of our fears of this is it. We already have a mundane existence, so now we go, is this all there is for me. It ties into why people attack via social media. You mean that person live that way and all there is for me, is this struggle I have here. Who do I blame? And seeing someone in the public eye with controversy gives them a reason to belong to something. For example, most people don’t care about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife, but there are those that wanted an apology. But what is that to your life. Why is a golfer groveling on TV make you feel good. That is unless your life is futile.

And that’s what it all boils down to; how one sees themselves. We look in the mirror and then look at others lives and question. We have all these reasons as why do they have what they have, but not asking ourselves what am I doing right or wrong. Maybe you should put that extra energy into you. Or maybe people should just come to grips with the idea that you’re not good or you don’t matter. And we hate to feel we don’t matter, but in certain situations your voice shouldn’t matter. Especially when trying to hold someone hostage for the sake of accomplishing anything no matter how ridiculous.