PULLING YOUR WEIGHT: WHY FAMILY IS MORE THAN JUST BLOOD

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“It’s all our job to pitch in.”


My grandmother grew up in the south and she used to tell me about how she at an early age had to be a farm hand. Not just her, but any siblings that were born during that time and old enough to work. Why did they have to work the farm, besides being told in her time period they had no choice, aiding the family. Everyone had to play a vital role in helping to move this family. It wasn’t one person had to work and everyone else kind of lived off of their hard work. But a lot has changed during that time period. Because my grandmother was born in the early 1930’s right after the Great Depression hit. So everyone really had to put their best foot forward. This was the all-encompassing group known as the Silent Generation where everyone just kept their mouths closed and did as they were told: work.

Some like to think that the introduction of the welfare system is what kind of made people remove themselves from the mind-frame of everyone pitching into the family. Because what was supposed to be a small contribution to help you get on your feet, has turned into a crutch. The thought process of something for nothing took hold. And the entire concept of family pulling their weight began to diminish. People in today’s society have this thought that just because we are related by blood that means something. Yet even in a family, you have to earn just as much as everyone else. If one person is contributing and that contribution ever gets lost, then the entire house falls down. So you need more people putting into the pot for the pot to sustain.

Because the core meaning of family is more centralized to just your parents and siblings. Then you have your overall family which consists of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. And last, you have the distant family members which are those you never see except once every so few years. But your first and foremost obligation is to your immediate family which is your spouse and children. This is the unit that receives the most attention and the most aid first. So you have to make sure everyone in this unit is doing their job, then look outward to the rest of family. But in the end, everyone must pull their weight. There can’t be one person working and everyone else kid of laid back on the sidelines. Because once it gets to that point, people have lost all respect for you and it comes too easy. And that’s when you either tell them to change or cut ties.


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BOY YOU LOOK DIFFERENT: WHY OUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TAKE FORM OVER TIME

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“I don’t look different, it’s called life.”


When I wake up in the morning and look at myself, I always think, “Man, I have not changed that much since high school. Yeah, sure I’m more mature and I have learned to be a lot more responsible. But my physical appearance is not that much different. Yet when I look at people from my past years so far in life, they bare a totally different look than what I remembered. Maybe it’s because the person got pregnant and had a child. In that case, you will take on a new form, especially your physique. Or maybe the person got into a terrible accident or was stricken with some type of illness. Then there are the people who say screw it and let themselves go. Almost like why bother trying to keep myself together. Well, I have a few reasons why they are unrecognizable; and I have already touched on a few.

When you are young, especially in high school, you care more about what other people think. You’re active, which means you have not got into a rut. You are not fed up with the world because you have not stepped into the world. Yet the moment you leave high school, you take on your own mindset. You begin to hang around different people and your life begins to move around. Yes, granted in the four years preceding high school, you still are to an extent stuck into the mind-frame of high school. But as you come through those years, you start to notice people becoming someone you can’t familiarize yourself with anymore. From the way they talk to how their bodies take form. Then college end and you really start to not notice the person you once knew. And like I said before, physically they become unrecognizable. And what happens that causes this physical reaction?

Children. that’s right children. I know people who have already had children, so keeping yourself together becomes not as important once you become a parent. Unless you have a certain means of finances, it becomes quite difficult to care for yourself. You’re feeding the children, chasing the children, making sure the children stay out of trouble. So days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, and slowly but surely, they give up. Now, to play devil’s advocate if I may, I don’t think people just give up. I don’t think people want to work as hard as we have to in the first place. It’s just that we use so much of our outer to attract others to us, then we become what we really want to be eventually. Keeping yourself looking a certain way is work that does not pay. And it has already been a job since high school. So you figure why bother now.

See, in the end, we would all like to stay looking young and fresh. But it’s such a tough time trying to keep ourselves. Me, I have not gained much weight since high school. I have not had a rough life since high school; sure I work harder, but physically, I’m still me. I guess it’s tough once you become an adult with a full time job. You’re doing this and doing that, running here and there; you sort of lose sight of physical aspects of life like your own appearance. And then you fall into this world-wind of who cares.


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Up All Night: Why We Waste Our 20’s

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“What have you done with your 20’s?”

We Are Young is such a great song by the group FUN. It has so many meanings, but one sticks out to me. How much time we actually waste in our 20’s as we come through this decade is what I have gotten out of this song. It’s right in the chorus of this song, “So if by the time, the bar closes, and you feel like falling down, I’ll carry, you home, tonight.” That line brings up so many memories for so many young people who spend their 20’s bar hopping and hooking up. In your early 20’s, you are typically a college student. Study and attend classes four days out of the week, maybe hold down a part time job. Then from Thursday through Sunday, you party it up. Because then again, C’s get degrees.

Once out of school, you get a day job, working five days per week, eight hours per day. On Friday, you go out with friends, and lounge on Saturday because you’re too hung over from the night before. Hell, you might even go out Saturday night because when you’re young, whose thinking about church Sunday morning. Then Sunday night, hopefully your weekend hangover is wrapping up for the daily grind come Monday morning. Then, as you are nearing the end of your 20’s, life sinks into your brain. You go, what the hell did I do this entire decade.

The whole time you spent hooking up with random people and partying. But you never ceased the moments to pursue your career endeavors. Ten years is a long time, but from 19-29 years of age it goes by fast. This is why at the age of 20 I spent the next four years figuring out my three important keys to success in my life: what do I love, am I good at it, and can I sustain myself financially down the road. So at the age of 24 years, I decided I love writing/film making/producing; mainly screenwriting and novels, would be my career goals. So here I am at age 29 years old the end of this month, having spent the past nearly six years learning, working my craft.

Now I am in the process of building my audience: posting my daily blog post, pre-production for my next short film, and as well as finishing up my first novel and first book of short stories. All the while holding down multiple part-time gigs to support myself along the way. I look at my life and go, what did I do with my 20’s. I look at my crappy apartment and cheap clothing so monetary expenses can go toward more productive goals. I think to myself, “Wow, you should have just partied with everyone else.” “Because financially they are ahead of you.” True, but also false as well.

Having spent the greater portion of this decade putting in what is know as my 10,000 hours, my writing slowly paying off. Don’t get me wrong nothing is guaranteed, but the work is being put in in preparation of. I think to myself why aren’t more people in their 20’s putting in the time to pursue their career interests. Then it dawned on me that they don’t have any. Some would say that is a lack of drive and ambition, but not necessarily in your 20’s. Yes athletes and some entertainers who are 22 and 23 year old global brands are not the norm. Because they have usually spent from elementary school until their 20’s on their craft.

And that is what it all boils down to, purpose. There was a very well known book called, “Purpose Driven Life.” What is your purpose driven life? A lot of young people don’t know their purpose driven life. At the age of 24 years, I decided I would be a storyteller. I wrote down ideas and I am currently in the execution process of these ideas. Starting with my first novel, book of short stories, and my first short film that I wrote, directed, and produced; which I uploaded on YouTube. Scary thing about purpose, is that some people will live their entire lives not knowing their purpose on earth.

Why me at my age? Why did I figure this out so young? I don’t have life figured out, but I know to a great enough degree regarding my career. Is it chemical, how ones brain is wired? Or better yet, maybe it’s divine intervention. There are so many reasons that bring us to purpose, but my reason for coming to writing initially was internal. Writing was an escape from personal issues I faced. Started at age 22, and only did it become a viable career path once I hit 24/25 years of age.

So in the end, we don’t maliciously waste our 20’s, it’s a time you don’t know much about yourself. Your self awareness is not strong, so you can’t see your full self worth. I saw my worth and potential at such a young age, which is why I started before everyone else. But hopefully everyone else will as well. Because if your life revolves around living just for Friday and dreading to wake up Monday morning, you are not living a full life.