“I now pronounce you man and debt. WHAT!”
First you propose, then she says I do. Next thing you know you’re planning for a wedding. Once the big day gets here, you and her are so nervous, you don’t think you’ll make it down the aisle. But the day is a success with an I do and some fun and dance with friends and family. Then, as you guys settle in for the night you think to yourself, ahh, marriage. This is going to be such a great life together; or so you think.
You’ll be surprised how many people get married and not look into the life of the person they are marrying. And this topic won’t be about infidelity or some other dark hidden secret. It’s about something people neglect to think about before saying I do. They don’t ask the question, “How much debt do you have?” Uh, what, what kind of question is that. Shouldn’t people be focused on more important aspects of marriage. Well, that is an important thing to focus on. Well, why is it so important?
When you get married you guys are not just one emotionally, but financially. That means any debts that person has accrued prior to marrying you is now yours. Let’s say for instance I want to marry a woman and she has the following: $10,000 credit card debt, $100,000 college loans, $500 overdraft bank account, $400 car payment behind by 3 months, and $1,000 in unpaid parking tickets. Now, I understand the college debt, which is the norm, especially in society today where a college education tends to run this amount.
Next, lets look at the $500 overdraft fee, which typically in society comes from using a debit card for more than you have in the bank. I have overdraft before 10 cents, $10, hell even $30. But $500 is some serious swiping of the card. I go fine, that can be an easy fix. She put up $250, I’ll help her with the other $250. Now on to the parking tickets, wow, $1,000. Where the hell is she parking that cost that much money. Not to mention if these fines are not paid, a boot will be placed on the car. Then that’s a cost for the boot and the tickets. So I have to pay that ASAP.
Ok, on to the car payments, sheesh, $1,200 unpaid. This has to get paid because we need our cars to get back and forth to work. So how will I do this, I know dip into my own personal savings. I know, I know, not a good idea, but it’s necessary. Wait a minute, what the hell is this bill! Unpaid car insurance as well, she didn’t tell me about this. God this woman is starting to get to me. Now that that’s out of the way, yikes, $10,000 in credit card debt.
What was she buying to rack up that much debt in credit cards. Jesus, SAKS Fifth, Bloomingdales, and MACY’S. We’re going to have to put her on some type of payment plan. Not to mention all the student loan debt that has to be worked out soon. And with all this said, “Is a person’s debt situation a deal breaker? Should you call off the engagement or accept it for what it is? Cause then again, you’re accepting this person for their flaws right? Some say wrong, you have to hold that person accountable as well. I mean God forbid you get sick or die, and they’re over your assets.
But see, I put that in the context of me and a woman. What about women with men. Is it a deal breaker to women if his debt is out of control? Or better yet, what if he has a child in which he is behind on child support? There are some places where the wife’s wages are extracted to pay for his inability to keep up with his child support payments. Can you imagine ladies, you work 40 hours a week, for every two weeks. You get ready to contribute your portion of the household expenses and you fall short. Why, because he’s not keeping up with his business. So the state goes, “Hey, you’re in one house, you’re under the same roof.” “You are him and he is you.” “We can’t get him, so how about the next best thing; his new wife.”
A woman would kill a man if she worked the whole month to come home to nothing. So with that said, do you still accept the person’s debt and work with them. In my opinion it depends on why the debt exist. Some people are flat out fiscally irresponsible, which is something to take into consideration before marrying them. Others have racked up debt, that it starts to get away from them. Then it piles and piles, to where they are overwhelmed. They could use your help and over time regain their hold on the situation.
How do you gauge the situation? Is it on the basis of money? Is it not money, yet what the debt is connect to? Or is unacceptable period to have outstanding debts? Whatever the case may be, it’s something everyone should discuss, yet many skip over this aspect of, “I do.” I would strongly encourage you to do so before walking down the aisle. It could save you a lot time and money, as well as an insight into who you are spending the rest of your life with before you jump the broom.