LETTING GO: HARDSHIPS OF PUSHING CHILDREN INTO THE WORLD

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“They’re not going to be young forever.”


When growing up, parents are very protective of their young. Understandably so because it’s your job to protect them. But at some point in time that parent has to let go and let their child have their own lives. And this is generally the hardest job that any parent has to do is let go. Eventually, that kid grows up, and goes into the world to start their own lives. They must have their own identity and embark on their own career endeavors. But why, why must parents really need to let go of their child/ children? Just saying they need their own lives is not good enough.

I heard Denzel Washington make a statement regarding having a hard time letting go of his son. His son was heading east to college from California. And he told an interesting story of why he had to let go. He was flying a private jet when the pilots had to drop some fuel from the plane to increase the altitude in flight. Denzel stated that is how he had to look at parenting like flying in that plane. If he didn’t release his son the he couldn’t have flown to the heights he wanted to fly. And that is a strong reason why parents have to let go. But so many parents have the hardest time letting go. Their children have been their lives for so long it becomes tough to let go.

But the moral of the story from Denzel is that how will your kids be prepared to take on the world if you keep them so close. They need to step out into the world. Try things, fail, and then work to come back and succeed. You can’t protect them forever otherwise they won’t grow. You’ll do nothing more but create an environment of codependency. And trust and believe, no one else is going to allow them to live off of them without stepping into the world. You stunt their development and actually make them fearful of walking into the world themselves. You have held on so long, they are terrified that maybe you held on because they can’t succeed without you.

Another reason why parents find it so hard to push children into the world is also because this may be the last child to leave the house. When having children, the first you get emotional and last you get emotional. Because the first is that oldest to come into the world. And the last kid is confirmation that no more children are in the house. So now you have to get used to making decisions based around you and your best interest. No more coming home and making sure everything is right on the home front. Get used to coming home and not hearing any noise, just silence.

And in the end, that is the toughest adjustment a parent must make in life. Getting used to adjusting to life with no one there unless you’re married. You now have to learn how to go back to life when there weren’t kids around. And that for a lot of people is hard to get used to. So parents find themselves contacting their children in college asking what are they doing. It may seem overbearing to the kid, but to the parent it is completely normal. Yet, the kid has to go off and carve out their own identity, their own plans, their own futures.


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WHEN TO SAY WHEN: HOW TO ELIMINATE PEOPLE WHO AREN’T IN YOUR BEST INTEREST

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“Know when to throw in the towel.”


Packing your bags and removing people from your life can be a very tough decision to make. Because at times these are people that are the closest to you. They are usually friends and even family. You have to cut people loose sometimes because they tend to be more of a burden and hindrance in your life than an advancement. But how do you know if the person or people in your life are becoming a ball and chain. Trust and believe, you’ll know, you may try to act like you don’t, but you’ll know. And for those of you who don’t know what I mean here are a few examples of the ball and chain. They are generally people who leach off of you, they’re me people who only care about themselves, the jealous types who hate on your success, and they’re people who make excuses as to what’s wrong with everyone else but themselves.

How do you rid yourself of the first type of person or people; the leach. The leach are the ones who want to live off of your shine and success. They don’t use you as an example where they want to be in their own lives. They say, you’re successful, why don’t you take care of me. But it’s not your job to care for them, better yet, it’s their job to play catch-up. And if they are not bent on catching up, you have to leave them behind. Easier to do with friends, but what about in the case of family. What happens when someone whose a family member becomes a burden. You give and give, and nothing transpires from it. They just look at your act of kindness as weakness. That’s when you must cut them off, until they are willing to change.

Now the next  group of people who you have to cut loose are the ones who only care about themselves. They live for them and only them, and could care less who it effects you. They’re the all about me people, which is a mental illness in itself. Doesn’t matter who has something else going on in their lives, it’s all about me. My issues, my life, and you should want to revolve your decisions around me. This ball and chain have to be gotten rid of so that you can focus on yourself. If you have nothing but me people around you, you spend time trying to appease them while your own life fails. So in the case of these type of people, cut them, and cut them fast.

Now the third group of people are the jealous types. These are the people who see you shining and they would love nothing more than to see you fall. Well, why would people close to you want to see you fail? It goes from a lack of self-worth within that person or people. They look at you and see what they could have been, and express disdain. These are the people who are worse than leaches and me groups. You have to watch this bunch closer than your enemies because they’re already in your camp. They might look at you and think, “They use to be right here with me.” “They don’t deserve what they have.” “If they have what they have, and started with me at the bottom, it means I wasted my life.” These are toxic people and are only going to hurt you in the end.

The last group are the I got the short end of the stick group. They’re the ones who blame everything and everybody else but themselves. The world is out to get me group, and they want you to correct their lives because of it. These people you have to leave behind because they become a hindrance on your progress. And they’re a hindrance because if all you hear is negativity from them all the time, then it’ll start to infiltrate your mind and taint your thinking. Before you know it, your life has fallen off from you trying to help them out. You see, in the end, you have so many people in your life you will lose along the way. It’s painful, but it’s part of your growth in this world. Everyone is not meant to be in your life. And sometimes its comes from the unlikeliest of places such as friends or family.