INTERNAL ABYSS: HOW TO FACE THE HURT THAT IS YOU

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“Fighting the me inside of me.”


Ever feel like you’re having one of those days when you have the internal feeling of fighting something. You either know what it is or don’t know what it is. But whatever the case may be, it has you fixated on nothing good in the moment. It’s that feeling you get when nothing seems to be going right. The feeling you get when you are sluggish and unmotivated. When you’re beginning to contemplate why are you alive and what are you doing with your life. And that my friend is the sign of depression. You have the strong case of hurt, pain, anxiety, and stress. It is sometimes an onset of emotions, and other times it is prolonged. So where does it come from?

In my own life, I have battled depression. I have always wondered where it came from, and now that I am an adult I now know. And that depression that hit my world came from childhood and adulthood. From childhood, it had a lot to do with the idea that I was always afraid of everything. I wouldn’t even climb the tree like a lot of children when my cousins would be outside. My fears kept me from doing so much, that now I look back and wonder for what. What was my reason for being so scared of so much. One of the reasons is because guys in my community were going to jail and getting killed. So to keep from being a statistic, I thought it would be best to fear everything: jail, death, even life. My other reason for fear was not having a man in my life to teach me how weak it was to fear what I was fearing.

But that fear does not stop there in my life. It follows you into adulthood. My adult fear was becoming a parent when I know I don’t want children. Yet, I do want relationships. And if a woman want a child, oh well, yet now you have a kid here. So now she is making a decision involving my existence that I want no part of. So I have lived in isolation because of it. And that isolation tends to make one depressed. But since finding writing, it has made me cope with any internalized problems. So now that you know a little about myself, what about you? What makes you fight the internal thing that is you. I know that the flip side of me being so afraid, it has given me urgency and focus on important aspects of life as well because I am not as spontaneously crazy. So how do you fix the you inside of you?

You have to bring yourself to a place that will drive out the good in you. Meaning, find things you love that you are good at as well. And then work to be great at those things. Everything else will fall to the waist side. But if your mind is only in the frame of the hurt and pain, and you can’t get past that, you will always be depressed. And in the end, that always being in a state of depression is what’s the killer. Because looking over life you’ll be more hurt that you never made the initiative to do something about your life. And by that time it’s far too late.


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GROW UP KIDS: THE FAILURE TO LAUNCH FOR AMERICA’S YOUNG ADULTS

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“We are so not ready for the world.”

Generation Me, Generation Y, Generation Selfie! All three describe my generation of young people who are born between the mid 1980’s to the early 1990’s. We are the generation born into an era where everything is for mass consumption. We live record our lives and post to social media our innermost feelings. We determine how many friends we have by the number of followers we have on the internet. Our intimate relationships are initiated in a hurry and end rather quickly. But there is one main thing that makes us have it hard to cope in society. And that is the idea that a lot of time must be taken to build our careers. How do we cope in the real world with having to wait for success in such an immediate environment that we’re used to seeing?

The coping with a long arduous career climb, makes us jumpy when so much moves around you so fast? We work on a job for 6 months, and become discouraged for not advancing in our career. To a working adult in the their middle aged years, you realize that 6 months, hell, 6 years, you’re still not making too much of a difference. In a 10, 15, or 20 year span, you should see that progress with work. The road to success also is viewed by my age group as this jump straight into making a load of money. We have been told by our parents that we’re special our entire lives. Now we think the world owes us something.

Besides our parents and the speed of the environment around us, is there anything else that forces us to not have patience. Another has to do with age in general. We look at our young age, especially when you’re struggling, we think everything is worse than it is. Working toward a goal takes time, and by time I mean years. So the time between 20 years of age and 30 years of age seems tough. But if you started in your early 20’s then hopefully you’re breaking into your career much sooner. Yet, it’s much easier to say start early because when you’re young, you don’t know what you want out of life. There is no real self awareness in your life. So how do you launch yourself into the world?

Well, my story of how I launched myself is for starters moving to a different city. Living in a city that is different than where you grew up is a step forward. There are no friends nor family around, forcing you to grow up quicker on your own. You’ll get a chance to see that no freebies will be allotted to you. All special treatment is out the door and you’re expected to rise to the occasion. So without that safety net, you are forced to work things out over time. Now, there is nothing wrong with reaching back here and there for help when needed. But it is really important for you to be on your own.

So now what? Where do we go from here on out? In my opinion, everyone thinks that whatever generation is young will be doomed. And the previous generations feel they are better and we are worse. I think that once reality set in, a lot of things will change. It’s called paying rent, utilities, student loans, and healthcare. So, for the most part, a lot of what we are is nothing more than a phase. A phase that will past in order to coexist in the dominant society.