RELATIONSHIP CURRENCY: WHAT DO YOU VALUE IN RELATIONSHIPS

bank notes, bills, cash

“If cash is king, where do relationships stand?”


Relationships throughout history have always taken on different forms as time progressed. But in today’s society there are so many meanings for what relationship currency stand for. How do you define what it means to have relationship currency? Now when I say relationships it can mean marriage or even a friendship. Currency can mean something of monetary value or it can mean something of mental/emotional value. I am here to ask which one is important to you. A lot of people say money and others say what someone has to offer. Some people want a monogamous relationship others don’t. So which is important to you?

The majority of people in society hear relationship and automatically think it has to do with dating or marriage. But what about friendships; how important is friendships and what is their currency. We usually dictate friendship by what the person has to bring emotionally to the table. Because what is the use in hanging around people who are not in your best interest. And what I mean by that, it’s heading in the same direction as you. This doesn’t mean you want to be a physician they should be doctors. No, it should mean that they have some type of goal in life. If they don’t and you do, you guys will fall apart from each other. So relationship currency in friendships should be pushing each other to do better which translate into non-monetary currency.

Well, what about monogamous relationships, currency is important here. But what type of currency? What type of currency is important to you in a relationship? Let’s observe from an emotional standpoint. When you’re looking at monogamy from an emotional standpoint, then you’re talking about how much meaning you bring into someones’ life. This means that when one of you are weak, how well does the other counteract that weakness with strength. And that in itself can be seen as sometimes and even greater form of currency than the monetary. But what about the monetary? There are people that look to this as a form of currency in relationships.

When in monogamous relationship, having an income coming into the house is very important. Maybe not when you’re in your early twenties, but what about once you hit your thirties. Once you get to this point, it’s the getting your life together point. The time where you need to really have it carved in stone where you would like to see yourself in the years to come. Now, money isn’t everything, but when you’re talking about settling down and having a family, you need to keep this in mind. Take into consideration the cost of buying a home, car, paying off any debts, and long term investments like retirement. This is where monetary currency is very important to your future success in a monogamous relationship.

In the end, the meaning of relationship currency can take on many different meanings. It’s up to the person/s interpreting what the currency means or even what the word relationship means. No matter how you look at it, know the currency you are looking for, but also know what your value is as well.

ASSOCIATION IS MOTIVATION: HOW BEING IN A SOCIAL GROUP IS WORTH THE WORK

“How much is it worth being apart of the group?”


A lot of people want to belong to a social group. And for most of us, we have at some point in our lives were members or are members of a group. But what is the reason one need to belong to a group? Well, there are a multitude of reasons as to why. I have decided to write about the few reasons why so many have chosen to be apart of a group. My conclusion that I have come up with as to why we need a group is because of not wanting to become ostracized, fear of being alone, and a need to belong to something. These are, in my opinion, the top reasons why we join.

For starters, we don’t want to be ostracized like the others we deem to be losers. When you’re growing up in school, you want to belong to a group. And when I say belong to group, you want to  be one of the popular kids in school. We don’t pay heed to the personalities of the kids in the group or how they treat other people. We want to be accepted by our peers within the group. So, a lot of times we’ll join in on the ignorance of the group just to be accepted. The group skips school, you go with them. The group gets caught getting high, you’re with them. Whatever they do you do, just to belong. But this goes beyond school kids. There are adults who play the I would rather be in a group than not game as well.

This leads me to my next reason why people join groups. We as humans need some form of companionship. And being in a group is part of that companionship. Because think about it, who really wants to be alone. You see elderly people walking up the street. They have no friends, no family, no nothing. All they have is themselves and the thoughts in their heads. So with all that has been said, why wouldn’t you want to be in a group. Because then again, everybody want to be apart of something. Which leads into my third reason why we join groups. This is the main reason in my opinion why we all want to belong to something great.

Being apart of something great is an aspiration of most of us. Even if being apart of the group means just standing next to the greatness. It’s the reason we apply to certain colleges, associate with a certain groups of people, or work for a certain organization. Just look at the entourage of famous celebrities. Not everyone in that group has a purpose, but some people need to be in the vicinity of something great. In the end, we all want to belong to something. We hate being alone and yearn for companionship. Just as long as you don’t associate with a group that is detrimental to your safety, you’re fine.

LONESOME: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE ALONE

Related image

“You don’t have to live alone nor die alone.”

Have you ever felt alone in the world? Have you ever felt like you don’t a friend or even sometimes family you can depend on? Do you have to live like this? Will there ever come a time where you’ll be vindicated from such lonesomeness? Well, in my opinion you don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to feel shut out as if no one wants to be around you. Because trust and believe, there are people just like you who are just as shut out. There are plenty who have been in your position. Let’s discuss what all of this means.

I live in New York city; to be more specific the borough of Manhattan. This is a city of approximately 10 million inhabitants and nearly 70 million tourists in a year. Yet when you walk the streets, all you see are people walking alone. Now, don’t get me wrong, just because someone walks alone does not necessarily mean they are alone. What I’m saying is that you don’t see a lot of groups unless they are teens, tourists, and/or people on lunch break from work. But the city does have a lot of lonely people. What do I mean?

For example, the men and women who walk the streets talking to themselves. Now I myself do the same, but mainly it’s the brainstorming of ideas to write for my novel and screenplays. But you hear the people’s conversations and you can tell they don’t have anyone in their lives. What if they had someone in their lives to talk to; would they still be having lonely conversation? To be in a city of this size, it’s odd that you can live here and not have a single interaction with anyone. But if the human mind has nothing coming into it from another human being, we tend to have conversations with ourselves. What are ways we don’t have to feel alone?

We have family, but as time passes and people go off and start their own families, you see less of them. Even friends have their immediate work and family lives. So this requires you to throw yourself into the world. One of the things you can do is start to develop relationships with people you work with everyday. They have lives, but sometimes they want to get away. There is friendship here as well as neighbors. In your neighborhood, you start to develop conversations with people you see everyday. With the openness of the internet, you can take part in an open chat board or start your own blog. You bounce ideas off of one another; you’re not making contact, but you have someone to connect with.

Then again, there are the people who are homeless. These are the people who sleep in the street every night. I see this group of people as well in New York City. This is the main group who you see talking to themselves. It’s truly because they have no one to talk to at all. A harsh reality that no one wants to experience: being homeless and no one in your life. Then there are the people who have a home, have a job, but no friends nor family. They don’t have anyone, and most likely never will. Luckily for me I have family back home in the Midwest. I could either call or go back home to live. Even with that, they sill have full-time employment. Meaning you have to find something that will engage you in life.

And that’s the key, staying engaged. Just because you have people in your life (family and friends) don’t mean they have time for you. It’s a reality; I myself have gone a full month without calling my siblings. Then I go, wow, it’s been a month, let me call or send a text. It’s because I’m trying to engage myself in this ever changing world we reside within. So my mind is constantly moving, yet keeping them in my thoughts. But I still know they are one call away, a parent is one call away. Some people don’t have that call, but hopefully they’ll find a way to that call. Whether it comes in the form of a friend or intimate relationship.