IF YOU DON’T SOMEONE WILL: THE REALITY OF CHEAT CULTURE

 

Man and Woman Lying on Bed

“The new normal.”


infidelity

When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that people who married stayed together and happy forever. The more I grew the more I learned about relationships and how things really work themselves out. And one of those things I learned about was infidelity in marriage. But even more shocked when I found out the female statistics on cheating in the relationship. From there I wanted to know why so many people cheated on their spouses. Then I started to do some quick research and found out that so many people do so because their relationship has no passion within the marriage. But if you are working and raising children it’s easy to lose that passion. So is it that cut clean and dry or are there steps to get to that point.

the women who hurt

We are so used to hearing about men who cheat but we are not even thinking about the women who do so. For some reason we don’t associate cheating with women, but so many women do so. But why, is as easy as a guy approaching and next thing you know, she’s cheating. No, it is more of a process that takes place over time. Because I don’t think most women just run out and start cheating on her significant other. Now if he cheats first, that might be a different story. But in general, women usually hold out longer than most men. And a lot of that has to do with how women think about sex. They emotionally connect to someone via sex, so it’s hard to just go out and sleep with someone with nothing there. But once they do, it usually ends the marriage and there is no getting her back. She’s not going to go to that guy, but you have most likely lost her.

if it’s not good, get out

There are still some people who wait until they are married to have sex. But in today’s society you have people who have sex quicker. Now, if the sex is not good, most men may stay just because he might get sex again. Women most likely will stop the situation and move on. But for the ones who don’t move on, they stay for other reasons outside of intimacy, more so security reasons, then find the sex outside the relationship. So how do you become that good lover, and is it still enough not to make the person go outside as fast. In my opinion, if the person moves that fast, they are just prone to do that because people don’t jump off the ledge as quick.


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PLAYING GAMES ONLY YOU CAN LOSE: WHY WOMEN IN PLAYER WORLD GETS HURT IN THE END

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“Two can’t play the game.”


In the world of dating, both men and women tend to play games. But there is a catch when it comes to the world of playing games. And that is that only one person winds-up getting hurt. And usually it is the woman that gets hurt. Why is that; why is it that the woman is always getting hurt? Well, because the woman cannot win at the end of the day. Now if you’re a woman, you might think to yourself, that’s not right. But in reality it is true; you are far more likely to get hurt. Now mind you, once again, I am talking about the game of playing, not just your typical monogamous relationship. When you’re in the game of playing, there is generally a winner and a loser. But let’s get into the reasons why the woman get hurt at the end of the day.

The reason the woman gets hurt in the playing game is because when you look at the game, there is a shelf life associated with women playing the game. Almost like looking at yourself as an athlete. You come into league running and jumping like everyone else, but you start to get older. And the problem with getting older is you can’t run and jump on the basketball court like you used to. You have to learn certain skills to stay in the game. Only problem is that it’s a young woman’s game to play to try to win. So now you’re 35 years of age in the arenas of 23 and 24 year old girls because you want to stay relevant to the men that are chasing after them. And with no prior exit strategy, you find yourself alone while he goes off into the sunset with someone else. And this happens due to the standards of men versus women.

Men and women have similar but not same standards, especially in the playing game. Women “need” a man worth something to play, and the man can be with whatever. Because he just needs an attractive woman, and what you need is harder to come by in the game. So you’re really becoming subservient to whatever he’s willing and able to do. Basically what I’m saying is that in the world of playing, you really can’t hold us to anything because we can always get another woman. You as a woman can’t just run out and easily get another top notch, successful guy to be with you. Now, I’m not talking about on average, I’m talking in this playing game. Your standards in the game are higher, so you are in a more compromising position than we are in the game. Let me go even further and describe how it can hurt you.

On average, a man looks for a woman he’s compatible with, and vice versa. But in the playing game, your age is a major determinant as a woman. I’ll give you another example, you trying to play is like the drug game. The woman is equivalent to the guy standing on the street corner while we as men are more like distributors or cartel bosses. You take on the most risk as women, and usually come out the most hurt. And in the end, that’s why women may not want to play. And if you do, have an exit strategy. Because two people can be hurt in the game, but more often it’s you because your standards are higher. We can marry the first thing we see, you generally don’t live by that same creed.


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DATING ALLEGATIONS: WOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU ABOUT A CHEATING PARTNER

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“To talk or not to talk.”


Having a friend in a relationship can be a new adjustment if you guys have both been single for so long. Now this new person comes in the mix and everything is different. But that is not the topic of today; the topic of today is sharing information with your friend regarding their significant other. What if you had proof that your friend’s significant other was talking to someone else on the side? Would you inform your friend that this person was out talking to someone else? Or would you keep the information to yourself? Telling your friend could mean an argument depending on how they felt about the person. But keeping it a secret could mean jeopardizing the friendship as well.

Let’s observe the outcomes of telling your friend. See, if you tell your friend it could go a few ways. The first is that your friend is proud that you would bring the information to them. Allowing them the access into what is going on behind their backs is really important. But there is another outcome from telling them. That is that they might lash out at you for telling them. You don’t know how they feel and it could backfire ending a friendship. So, so many people tend to not say anything and leave the situation alone. But even that has repercussions to it. What are the repercussions for not telling your friend about their significant other?

That’s right, there is the other side of the coin. And that is not telling your friend what happened. This could have its own set of problems by not speaking. Because once your friend finds out what happened and you knew, now what comes of the friendship. When they found out you know, it will put a serious damper on the relationship. Especially if you are their best friend, they expect you to say something before anyone says something. So then if they are mad for you not saying anything, and mad for you saying anything, then what? And it all boils down to the friendship that you and this other person have together.

In the end, friends usually have an understanding whether they would want someone to say something. If you don’t have an understanding with your friend, then it can go good or bad. With no communication, it can go in any direction.



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BETRAYAL: CAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE INFIDELITY

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“Get over it, or move on.”


Men and women both agree that cheating is wrong, yet we both do it. It’s a very conniving action to take, and painful thing to go through. But my question to you is, can a relationship survive infidelity? Can you forgive someone who has cheated on you? What are the steps you go through in order to make the situation better? Me personally, I couldn’t survive a cheating situation. Mainly because every time we would be intimate I would see another person in my place. The image wouldn’t go away; so it’s not the idea of cheating. It’s the physical image of someone else in your position. Unless we’re just dating, then it doesn’t have the same effect.

And that is an interesting view because I don’t think a lot of men are willing to accept women back like women accept us. There are so many views on why it’s different. They are views that range from that’s what we do and women should not; to guys do it to do it, and women do it with malice attached. But it is ever a reason to cheat, and why? And if you think it’s ok, then why do you have such a hard time being honest about it? Because people say you shouldn’t tell your spouse everything. But if you cheat, it could leave a cloud of guilt over the situation. But I have a different view for cheating.

If you are in a position to cheat on your significant other, it’s probably best to break it off. Because what you do if you don’t, is that you hold the other person to this promise. But then when you go ahead and break the promise what does that mean? Does that mean that the promise is off the table? Because it’s hard for you to be taken serious from now on. You are making demands, but they are not taken seriously because you’re known for going back on your word. And if you are this person going back on your word you build up a reputation for not being trust-worthy. So anything you so moving forward doesn’t quite hold much weight to it.

See, in the end, cheating can cause more problems especially keeping it a secret. Because you leave the other person confused and in a state of bewilderment since you’re not being honest. Yet, there are people who take the cheating boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse back again. Some hold true to their word and never cheat again, and others don’t. Is once a cheater always a cheater? Or is it something that happens, and there is no going back? It’s all up to the person being cheated on?


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