SCIENCE OF PARENTING: WHAT MAKES WOMEN CLOSER THAN MEN

blanket, boots, care

“We are not like them.”


the job aint easy

You ever hear people say that the job of raising children is not an easy? Well, it is; I don’t have any, but observing my mother raising children, I can tell it was a struggle. The feat of not only getting up making sure they are fed, but placing them into the world. You have to let go and realize they are in the world and trust they make the right decisions. Because the kid part are the cute years, it’s when we get older where the job becomes difficult. Once those adolescent years hit and friends become more of an influencer than parents, that’s when the job gets tough. But this topic is more than that, it’s about the relationship that each parent has with the child/children.

gender differences

The science behind why a woman is connected to the child more is simple. She is the one who carried the kid, so there is a deeper bond than the man has with the child. Men can easily role around and play with the kid then head off to work. We have that ability to connect then disconnect in an instant. But all throughout the day, especially when the child is a baby, women can’t do the same. It is impossible for a woman to tune out when the kid is young. She is able to do so as the kid gets older, and ready to take on their own identities. But is there more behind the idea that women connect better than men? Meaning, what is the even deeper science behind mom and dad bonds.

evolution

Humans have attachments to each other which aids in our ability to coexist as a planet. But when we have children men bond differently then women. And there is a science to this bond. My best guess is that men were never meant to be in the life of the child. Father’s being around is a social construct more than it is biological. Don’t get me wrong, men still will fight and die for their young, but were we supposed to be a community like we are today. There are social means as to why we as men stick around: give the kid guidance, be an example for what the kid shall be in life, a protector in the household, an additional contributor to the family, and a partner for the woman. These are social constructs, but biologically, we don’t have those attachments because maybe we were never meant to have them. That doesn’t excuse deadbeat fathers, it just aims at understanding why we can be great fathers, yet disconnect to get work done, or even become better disciplinarians.


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RESTLESS NIGHTS (SHORT STORY)

As I lie here, staring at the ceiling, I wonder when is my baby coming home. He left a few days ago and I already miss him as if he has been gone for years. Will he ever return, and if he does will I recognize him. Should I move or wait around until he comes back into my life. Some of you might be wondering, who am I referring to. Well, my one and only, my true love, without him I am not whole. You might think to yourself, how did he leave, and why did he leave. It started when I made him breakfast a few days ago. I have to admit, it wasn’t the most filling meal one would hope for, but I tried my best.

I gave it my all, but to him, he couldn’t see that; he couldn’t see how much I worked to satisfy him. How could he not appreciate the distance I went to, to please him? And it doesn’t stop at breakfast, what about how clean I keep the house. Getting up at the crack of dawn and cleaning is not an easy task. The body needs time to adjust after resting for eight hours of sleep. But do you think he cared, not one bit. Sometimes it would take me the whole day to clean this house. Of course during my task, the television was on, so I could keep up with my daytime talk shows and soap operas.  Taking part in some daytime entertainment kept me distracted from my mundane existence.

Another task that I knew my baby would like is making sure I had a good meal in evening for him to eat. This always impressed because it took the most planning. Nonetheless, he still walked out and left me here alone. Now I am holding on to these sheets in my bed where he left me some time ago. Maybe I should just replace him. I could always find a new baby who will love me and appreciate me for the things I do for him.

I know there’s that one out there that will appreciate that extra mile I am willing to go to satisfy them. Wait a minute, I think I hear something, let me go see what it is I am hearing. Oh my God, it’s coming from outside. Let me see what’s out there. I open the front door, look down and my baby. My baby has returned to me, but not saying a word, just strolls right on in. But you know what, it doesn’t even matter because my babys’ home. Lying comfortably close to his litter box he rest his head.