STOLEN AMBITION: WHAT IF THE WOMEN OF THE PAST COULD HAVE HAD THE OPTIONS OF TODAY

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“What little they had made way for a lot today.”


My mother was born in the year 1960, making her the last of the baby boom generation. This was the first generation where men were coming home from the war and suburbs were being built up all across the country. Mass marketing and advertising was introduced and the influence of entertainment was taking hold. Why was so much going on during this time period? Well, it was because this was an era of mass population growth in the United States. Jobs were in abundance and the men who came home from World War 2 were settling in and with their wives building large families. But there was something else that was prevalent during this time period. And that is the fight which was taken to the streets by women all across the country along with the civil rights movements. Women were expected to act a certain way at times outside the realm of their choice.

It makes you think that what if these women were born in today’s society. How much would they have been able to accomplish had they had that push that women have today? My mother recently showed me a photo of her when she was a teenager running track and field. A sport that I took part in myself at a young age. Only difference between me and her is that, not only am I a man, but the encouragement I received was different than her generations. Girls were told to “shut up” and “keep quiet” when expressing their goals and ambitions. Ambition was for the boys, and staying at home was for the girls. It makes you think; how many of those house wives back decades ago often dreamed when being at home all day. What were their dreams when they would be cleaning floors or preparing meals for the family.

These were thoughts I never got a chance to ask my grandmother or great grandmother that I could ask my mother. I would have loved to ask my great grandmother, before you married my great grandfather what did you dream about in life. Because women today don’t have all these goals and women in the past didn’t have them. It’s just that women were not expected to do anything in life. I was an adult when my grandmother died, I wish I could have asked her what were her goals as well. Just so I could get some clarity into what life was like living with all of this bundled up inside. Asking them what it was like to not be able to do what you wanted to do.

See, in the end, so many young women say there is still a lot of work to accomplish for the women of today. But in the past, they had it much worse, even with the good times. I guess that’s why I push so heavy at my goals because my mother never got her chance to shine like she wanted at a young age. So many women at that time had so much potential to be great, but greatness was not an option. And for the ones who stood out front despite the lack of encouragement, it gave way to so many today.


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MOTIVATIONAL: THE ROAD TO BUILDING MY PODCAST

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“The build is tough, yet well worth it.”

In the year 2016, I became I a big fan of the podcast show the Brilliant Idiots. For those of you who don’t know the Brilliant Idiots, it is a podcast show by the Breakfast Club’s Charlamagne tha God and comedian Andrew Schultz. Their podcast consist of topics that have to do with current events in America today. They cover topics ranging from their favorite musicians to the political landscape of our country. From monogamous relationships to how to inspire yourself. Through becoming a fan of this show, I have decided to create my own podcast. So at the end of 2016, I had already started writing down topics I want to cover for my show.

Now, you may ask, what are you possibly going to cover. I thought about covering some of the same topics. But once I soon realized how unhappy I would be trying to shift through all the bad stuff that goes on in our world to talk about. So I decided this year that I am going to make a scripted motivational and inspirational podcast show. I have a lot to write about in regards to how to motivate and inspire. Why, well because as a newly published novelist, blogger, and screenwriter, I am constantly trying to motivate myself more and more. The inspiration comes through me pursuing a goal that most see as just some dream I’m chasing. But I’m not chasing a dream, I’m chasing the pursuit of happiness.

Now, does that mean I am currently unhappy. No, I’m not where I would like to be in my career path, but not unhappy. If it weren’t for me trying to pursue a career as a writer, I probably would be miserable. So creating a free podcast show for people to tune in and hear words of motivation and inspiration not only helps them, but me as well. You see, in America today, we are currently enthralled with the new president Donald Trump. So he’s going to be in the media enough. And me having a topical podcast based around societal issues would mean following along with the traffic behind him. In my opinion, people need some type of motivation, and to feel inspired. So how do you get people to listen?

There are plenty of motivational and inspirational shows and books out there, so how do you get them to listen. You have to provide more than just the normal motivation. Meaning, you say the words to help people feel motivated, but my goal is a scripted motivational show based around writing out words of how to push in life and steps toward your goal. And since I am in lieu of my own goals, I feel that my motivation will inspire others. In the end, people need a reason to keep pushing. It’s hard when employment is so hard to come by. You have bills and families to care for. So, hopefully, I can use what drives me to propel others forward.

WAKING UP GOING TO SLEEP: TOMORROW REALLY IS PROMISED, SO PLAN

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“Live everyday not like it’s your last, but like there is a tomorrow.”

Have any of you ever heard of the phrase, “Don’t put off tomorrow what can be accomplished today.” Very important phrase, but far too often we live by the phrase, “Live everyday like it’s your last.” That sounds fine at all but what about tomorrow. We think that life is short, but in reality it’s long, very long. And the more you screw up in life the longer it’s going to feel. What do I mean by that, this is what I mean. You get arrested and have to go to prison, time seems to stand still. There are no clock nor calendars so every second is a drag. But someone who is in full swing into their career of choice feels like there’s not enough hours in the day.

So why, why do people waste time thinking they’ll get to it eventually. It’s because there is no sense of urgency in some people. When you’re young, this is very prevalent because life is set up for you to a certain extent. From pre-school all the way through undergraduate school, your daily schedule is laid out for you. But once you leave this undergraduate experience you’re thrust into the real world. So what do people do, you put stuff off, you put stuff off. Then before you know it, you’re 30 years of age and nearly a decade has gone by since leaving college. By this age, people start to really buckle down, unless you’re one of those people still with no plan.

Problem is, when you’re one of these people with no plan, you roam the world not knowing what you want to do. But in your mind you go, I’m still young. And then there’s the people who see individuals their age you came into success young at 30 or 31 years old. They compare themselves to these people, so they get down on themselves. Fatal mistake because they could start now and still be young by the time they come into their own. But what do they do, they regret. And go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and now they’re 40 years of age. And now you’ve wasted over two decades.

40 years old seems like a ways away, but I have a sibling almost 40 years old. With me almost 30 years of age, I see the value in preparing yourself in life early. Lucky for me, I was the baby, so I got a chance to see two siblings come before me in life. They left college and worked for a while in addition to traveling, until they came upon what it is they’re doing in life. So I had a template in life to work from. But the overall real problem for procrastinators is the worrying of what others are doing.

When you’re busy trying to figure out your situation, it’s hard to worry about others. If I’m in 5th place, the last thing I thinking about is who is in 6th or how 1st and 2nd are running a 1st or 2nd race. My goal is to surpass that point or the person in 1st and 2nd. And if my trajectory serves me right, I’m on that path at the moment.

DIDN’T WORK FOR ME, WHY WOULD IT WORK FOR YOU?

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“Why do people seek to destroy what they can’t do?”

I have always found it to be quite sad how people are so quick to shut down your ideas. Your visions, your dreams, your ambitions, and your goals. They seek to shoot you down because they have not managed to succeed in their visions themselves. Why is this? Why do people carry such disdain for those who have had the courage to step into the world in the face of failure? Then when you fail they love to look you in the eyes and say I told you so.

Let’s try to figure out how they have come to this mind frame themselves. We all start out in life with a vision of where we would love to be. It usually starts as a child where our imaginations runs wild. But somewhere along the way between childhood and adulthood we lose our imagination. Or maybe we don’t lose it, better yet, someone or something kills it along the way. Well, what is it that can kill our dreams.

For most people, it is those that are around them. It can be their family or their friends who kill that dream. That vision that you see, touch, taste, and smell, yet you never pursue. Well how come? Your family, mainly parents and siblings; and friends as well will tell you to go out and get a day job. Find something which will get you a check every two weeks and let that be it. Keep your head out the clouds. And then that moment you attempt and fail they can’t wait to say, see I told you.

They do this because they have had the same visions. They either didn’t achieve their dream or was too scared to step out into the world. And in some insulting way, they fill you shouldn’t be there because they failed or were too scared. The reason I say insulting is because it’s almost as if they think you are dumber than them, and no way could you out do them. But what is in the pleasure in waiting for you to fail. The pleasure comes from their lack of success in their goals.

If you succeed in what is it you are embarking on, then it makes them feel their existence is futile. You would not think that friends and family could view your life this way, but sometimes they do. Not everyone wants you to do well in life, and as bad as it may seem, it comes from the people close to you. My other reason such disdain from the ones closest to you is because they remember where you came from to where you are now. It really magnifies much of their own lives they wasted.

But why view life in that form? Why feel that your life is a waste because of someone else’s success. It’s not their success as much as it is they are the embodiment of time you spent not doing what you wanted to do. Meaning, you don’t want to pursue entrepreneurship because it could take 10 years of constant work on top of your day job. Then 10 years go by and you look back wondering why you wasted so much time being afraid. Then you see someone who did put in that 10 years and the taste of sour grapes fill your mouth.

On the other hand, your success and fearlessness will free up others to pursue their endeavors. You see, people in society don’t know you before you were you. When they hear your rise to success, their confidence in themselves increase. You will motivate people to pursue; even with failure lingering they’ll fight. The whole time they will think about your climb.

In the end, the cost of doing nothing may be higher than the cost of doing something. It’s the reason why I am pursuing my goals. My biggest fear is not failure, more so it’s getting to the end of life and reflecting. Reflecting on your life and realizing the whole time it meant nothing. That is the scariest thing about life for me. Rejection and failure is normal, but not trying should never feel normal. Because the way I see it, we work everyday doing so much we don’t like, why not try something new. Even if the success is minimal, it’s still more than you had prior to not trying at all.

Up All Night: Why We Waste Our 20’s

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“What have you done with your 20’s?”

We Are Young is such a great song by the group FUN. It has so many meanings, but one sticks out to me. How much time we actually waste in our 20’s as we come through this decade is what I have gotten out of this song. It’s right in the chorus of this song, “So if by the time, the bar closes, and you feel like falling down, I’ll carry, you home, tonight.” That line brings up so many memories for so many young people who spend their 20’s bar hopping and hooking up. In your early 20’s, you are typically a college student. Study and attend classes four days out of the week, maybe hold down a part time job. Then from Thursday through Sunday, you party it up. Because then again, C’s get degrees.

Once out of school, you get a day job, working five days per week, eight hours per day. On Friday, you go out with friends, and lounge on Saturday because you’re too hung over from the night before. Hell, you might even go out Saturday night because when you’re young, whose thinking about church Sunday morning. Then Sunday night, hopefully your weekend hangover is wrapping up for the daily grind come Monday morning. Then, as you are nearing the end of your 20’s, life sinks into your brain. You go, what the hell did I do this entire decade.

The whole time you spent hooking up with random people and partying. But you never ceased the moments to pursue your career endeavors. Ten years is a long time, but from 19-29 years of age it goes by fast. This is why at the age of 20 I spent the next four years figuring out my three important keys to success in my life: what do I love, am I good at it, and can I sustain myself financially down the road. So at the age of 24 years, I decided I love writing/film making/producing; mainly screenwriting and novels, would be my career goals. So here I am at age 29 years old the end of this month, having spent the past nearly six years learning, working my craft.

Now I am in the process of building my audience: posting my daily blog post, pre-production for my next short film, and as well as finishing up my first novel and first book of short stories. All the while holding down multiple part-time gigs to support myself along the way. I look at my life and go, what did I do with my 20’s. I look at my crappy apartment and cheap clothing so monetary expenses can go toward more productive goals. I think to myself, “Wow, you should have just partied with everyone else.” “Because financially they are ahead of you.” True, but also false as well.

Having spent the greater portion of this decade putting in what is know as my 10,000 hours, my writing slowly paying off. Don’t get me wrong nothing is guaranteed, but the work is being put in in preparation of. I think to myself why aren’t more people in their 20’s putting in the time to pursue their career interests. Then it dawned on me that they don’t have any. Some would say that is a lack of drive and ambition, but not necessarily in your 20’s. Yes athletes and some entertainers who are 22 and 23 year old global brands are not the norm. Because they have usually spent from elementary school until their 20’s on their craft.

And that is what it all boils down to, purpose. There was a very well known book called, “Purpose Driven Life.” What is your purpose driven life? A lot of young people don’t know their purpose driven life. At the age of 24 years, I decided I would be a storyteller. I wrote down ideas and I am currently in the execution process of these ideas. Starting with my first novel, book of short stories, and my first short film that I wrote, directed, and produced; which I uploaded on YouTube. Scary thing about purpose, is that some people will live their entire lives not knowing their purpose on earth.

Why me at my age? Why did I figure this out so young? I don’t have life figured out, but I know to a great enough degree regarding my career. Is it chemical, how ones brain is wired? Or better yet, maybe it’s divine intervention. There are so many reasons that bring us to purpose, but my reason for coming to writing initially was internal. Writing was an escape from personal issues I faced. Started at age 22, and only did it become a viable career path once I hit 24/25 years of age.

So in the end, we don’t maliciously waste our 20’s, it’s a time you don’t know much about yourself. Your self awareness is not strong, so you can’t see your full self worth. I saw my worth and potential at such a young age, which is why I started before everyone else. But hopefully everyone else will as well. Because if your life revolves around living just for Friday and dreading to wake up Monday morning, you are not living a full life.

Our Deepest Fears: What Marianne’s Words Meant To Me.

“Our Deepest fears are not that we are inadequate…”

The author Marianne Williamson stated in her novel A Return to Love that, “Our deepest fears are not that we are inadequate.” “Our deepest fears is that we are powerful beyond measure it is our light not our darkness that’s most frightens us.” The entire passage is one that I have come to know by heart because the meaning behind the words resonate so much with me. The quote prior resonates because you would think people would be afraid of their failures in life, yet it is success that scares them the most.

Well why does success scare people so much? Is it that they won’t be able to handle the attention that comes with it? Or is it the idea that the more you give to people the more they want; and you fear not being able to satisfy their need? Marianne went to answer these questions by saying, “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous.” “Actually who are you not to be?” Which only meant, when you look into the mirror, why second guess the reason you are in the position you’re in or was given the talents you possess? Why not you?

Marianne went on to state, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” “There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure when they’re around you.” We who possess such skills that set us apart from everybody else forces you to want to take a step back. We want to run with the pack even though we run faster than anyone in the pack. Why? Because we don’t want anyone else to feel insecure because they can’t keep up. So what do we do, we run with the group because we think it makes us noble. But it actually uncovers a character flaw that exist inside of us.

She let us know that, “You were made to manifest the glory of God that is within you.” “It’s not in some of us, it’s in everyone.” “And as you let your own light shine, you can unconsciously give others permission to do the same.” “As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” These quotes let us know that your power that you possess is not just in you it’s in everyone around you. The only difference between you and them, is that you actually will do what they only dream of doing. But once you step out into the world fearless and confident, this confidence frees up so many other people seeking to be just as great as you.

What’s interesting about Marianne Williamson’s novel, A Return to Love, is that our deepest is only a passage in the book. The book contained so much more than our deepest fears, yet our deepest fears are the constraints which harbor so many people from being the greatest version of them they can be. How did this passage help me? It freed me up to pursue my dreams in life. Dreams so many will never attempt; becoming a successful author and filmmaker.

You see, growing up for me was about going to college attaining your education. Upon leaving school, finding a job that not only pays every two weeks, but hopefully one which will assist in paying for graduate school in the process. Well, while going to graduate school, I found myself looking over my screenplay which had not been completed. Writing the script was a daunting task. So difficult I tossed it partially finished and continued to pursue my MBA. It wasn’t until I was almost complete with my degree I felt a lack of accomplishment.

Why? Because I was not pursuing anything I was passionately willing to do for the rest of my life. It was while finishing up my MBA I began to work more in New York City’s theatre scene that I picked-up my script once again. Finishing the script I took on new ideas and a new way of thinking. It was then I knew I didn’t belong in a corporate environment. Because the stories I have to tell, people need to read and listen to. That’s when Marianne’s passage started to resonate with me. My only reasons for not pursuing my dreams is not out of failure, it was fear of what comes with the success.

But the cost of me doing nothing felt like much more hurtful than doing something. I can live with working toward something and failing. What I cannot live with is the idea of reaching the age of 70, 80, or even 90, looking back going I should have. Because if you ask any man or woman in their elderly years what was their biggest regret in life they’ll tell you it’s no being reaching for the greatest them they could be. And that is more of a fear for me than anything in life. Getting to the end of my life and realizing it was for nothing. People might look and go, it looked nice to me, but what was it for me. Regret is one of the biggest pains of anyone in life. So in closing I say thank you Marianne, those words have been that bit of logic that have stuck with me for the past few years now. Those words as I journey through this tough terrain as a novelist and filmmaker: “Our deepest fears are that we are inadequate.” “Are deepest fears are that we are powerful beyond measure.”