AGE GAP: DATING SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR AGE RANGE.

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“How acceptable is age limits in relationships?”

You ever thought about dating someone who was out of your age range? Are you worried about how people will react? Are you worried the relationship won’t last? A lot of people have issues when it comes to age as it pertains to dating. But I think this could be because a few reasons: the age, income at the age, or the maturity at the age. On the other hand, there are some double standards when it comes to the genders. Society views it differently if a man dates out of range than women. But why is age alone such a problem?

The reason age could be a problem is because it’s pretty offsetting when a person says I am 40 years old how old are you. The person responds with, oh me I’m 25 years old. Then there are mixed emotions after that; well, depending on the gender. A 40 year old man dating a 25 year old woman is seen differently than 40 woman with 25 guy. Women who date older men make sense because the age she is ready to have children can be around the time he is ready. But on the other hand, 40 year old women are in more of a rush than a 24 year old guy.

This is when age based on maturity comes into play. When a man is younger dating older versus woman dating older, men mature slower. So women older have a harder time with a younger guy because it takes longer for him to grow. Now if he is 40 and she is 55 that’s fine, but if he is 25 and she 40 then it’s a different story. Now females dating older is not like men because she is more likely ready to settle down quicker than he. So a woman 25 to 30 could be looking for a husband and kids.

Well there is one more area and that is income and age. When a young man is younger than the woman and make less than a woman, it’s harder for the relationship to work. Because still in American society men are expected to play vital roles as a bread winner in the household. If the man is older and makes more than the woman she is applauded for finding herself a good man. On the flip side, men are considered irresponsible and women are considered enablers when he is younger and makes less.

In the end, the age seems as if it is important more so when the man is younger than the woman. We have certain standards in our society that we live by. Even though America is supposed to be this progressive place we still have these double standards. It has changed over the years, but for now it seems like we are going to keep things status quo.

TALKING BOUT MY GENERATION

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“Why are we the way we are?”

You guys are so spoiled! You expect everything to be handed to you! You can’t take losing! You won’t be able to handle the real world! These are just a few of the things people say about my generation. But in order to call us these names you have to understand why we are the way that we are in society. You can’t just call us names then dismiss the reasons why we are this way as an age group. Well I have a few theories as to why my age group have such mentalities that tend to irritate the generations prior to us.

INTERNET

This is a big reason as to why we are the way we are as a generation. With the introduction of the internet we can retrieve information a lot faster. But with getting everything faster it has made us not appreciate the things we get. But we did not create the internet for the expedited expectations.Image result for tech I remember being in middle school when we first got our computer in the house. I was on that thing for hours surfing the web. The internet was not as advanced as it is today, but in the year 2001, it still was good for that time. Search engines were still fairly new so you had to WWW.COM everything you were looking for. As a matter of fact, putting the entire URL was needed for quite a few. But this started the I need this, then click away. Forget going to the library, it was all about the web. But is the web enough to contribute to us as a generation. Are there other aspects of the web?

SOCIAL MEDIA

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, YouTube, Tumblr, Tinder, Grindr, Pinterest and many others have invaded the web. As much as these websites have made us feel connected, they have also effected our daily lives both negatively and positively. The positives of course have been that we can connect with people know Image result for social mediaand stay in touch. We can reunite with those we have not spoken to in years. The daily news is not a medium you need a television to watch. And politically, we have become more involved. We also can network for employment opportunities as well (LinkedIn). But with the positives come the negatives. The open hate as well as how comfortable people have become expressing their disdain. (Twitter). Social media has allowed you the availability of taking on a fake persona to remain anonymous. In addition social media has effected intimate lives. We no longer have to wait to build a relationship with anyone because of the immediacy of casual dating (Tinder, Grindr, Cuddle). Where people use to have a courting process, now there is a meet me in an hour, hook up, see you later if ever mentality. Our social media has also become this environment of vanity & fascination with ourselves; posting our likeness for public approval (Instagram, Shanpchat, Pinterest, and YouTube)

POP CULTURE

What about the pop culture that has become a lot more important in our lives over the years.Related image For instance the music we listen to. Our famous musicians are so influential they effect the way young people dress and talk. It’s a relationship that a lot of parents have taken issue with in this country. Why because parents don’t want their children listening to certain types of music. But that’s one of the reasons why the music is so popular is because the parents hate it so much.Image result for oscars Well then what about the films our generation watch on television and in theaters. In an environement that has created this sense of everyone wants to be famous. It’s why we create vine videos and other video streams with hopes that maybe someone in Hollywood might notice us. Some girl is aspiring to be the next Jennifer Lawrence and of young boys pushing to be as funny as Kevin Hart.

Or maybe our age could be the result of the everyone gets a trophy mentality. The only problem is that the greater portion of millennial actually do grasp the concept of winning and losing. However you see it, we are the way we are because we didn’t come out this way. We are the product of a combination of parenting as well as the flooding of mass media/entertainment. The internet, film, music, and television has shaped a great portion of our age group. But we didn’t create the internet and still our not the movers and shakers. Yet every generation feels their  generation is great and the one before are babies. It has been forever and will always be that way. Because everyone wants to be that great group with all the answers.

BY 30: WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU BY THIS AGE?

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“Are the expectations for us realistic or not?”

It’s funny the expectations people have for you once you reach a certain age. The age 18 years old, 21 years, and now 30. By the time you reach 30 years of age parents, friends, significant others, and society expects more from you. This is the age where you’re suppose to have your life together. I guess this is why I started in my 20’s pushing toward what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Most guys go out on Fridays, I’m in a computer lab trying to focus on writing/filmmaking. But why the strain, 30 is really not that old. As a matter of fact, it’s really young.

This is why 30 is such an important part of your life. You’re 12 years out of high school, hopefully far removed from your parent’s house, and bills start to role in. You’ve been out of college for the greater portion of the past decade. And if you are in a relationship, no more late night caps of sex. Especially if you’re a guy with a woman, she’s thinking marriage. It’s when you really start wanting children if you don’t already have any. It’s also a time to reflect over your life so far. Every milestone of my own life I have been happy up to this point. 18 years old, graduating high school; 22/23 years old graduating college, now I am 29 years old looking to 30.

I am in the process of working to be self employed and I may say, it is an uphill battle. What if I fail? What if I am not as good as I thought I was? Was the past decade for me a waste? Maybe I should have just partied it up like every other guy my age and figured out life later. Who knows what will happen for me because 30 years of age is not even 12 months away. But on the other hand, I’m not the only one who feels the pressure of 30. Yet, there is something about me that sits me apart from so many my age. I don’t feel pressured to do certain things a lot of millennials my age are thinking about: children, marriage, buying a house, and making car payments.

Now, what makes 30 so difficult for my age group that is different than my older sister is that my age group will need multiple crafts/skills. It’s not good enough to work one job anymore. I talk to people I grew up with who are working professionals and struggle to survive. Let me reiterate that, “working professionals” struggling to survive! In school growing up, you’re always taught that in a professional position you should be good. But actually, they struggle just as much as non-professionals.

Why the change with this new generation. It just seems like technology is shrinking everything. But in reality technology has created more opportunities to make money. You just have to dig it up out of the ground like gold because the days of working a 9-5 for 40 hours per week and benefits are over. So, is 30 still looked at like 30 a decade or so ago. The answer is yes! 30 is still 30, and you are expected to be at a certain place mentally and financially.

So I go back to myself. Maybe the book I am about to finish writing helps build me some type of audience, maybe it does very well, or maybe it falls flat. Maybe my next short film will help me land more work in my respective field or maybe I will be forced to keep grinding. Whatever the case may be, I am in preparation for what I want. Shouldn’t that mean something. We’ll see in a year because change is important. If you are in the same mind-frame and same financial position, you probably have not done much to change your situation. These are the adjustments all adults have to make. In the end, I don’t know what next year, next month, next week, or even the next day will bring. But as long as things are better each day than the day before I am making progress. And that at this point in life is good enough for me. Because life is about the journey, not necessarily where you’re at this moment.