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“The only time where last is first.”

Growing up, I was the youngest of three children. My two oldest are seven and three years older than myself. And there are benefits, as well as downsides to being the youngest kid in the family. And we all know the benefits of being the youngest. Punishments are doled out less to you than your older siblings, which means you get away with more. You might be the smartest sibling after the others that came before you also. The house is yours after everyone else leaves meaning you have more room to yourself. The bond between you and your parent/s are very strong because you are the last to leave the house. And spending is more geared toward you rather than your older siblings out of the house. But why is life like this for so many people?

Well, let’s take a look at the punishment aspect of growing up. My oldest sister for instance was punished a lot more than myself. Why, well, it is your job to set an example for the other siblings that are younger than you. Since there was no one younger than myself, I was not setting any example. So this way, I was more able to move about how I wanted with less restrictions. Even still today, my oldest sister is way more responsible than my other sister and myself. She babysat us when she was young, and even performed cooking and cleaning duties alongside my mother. But other aspects of being the youngest is the fact you get to learn so much because there are siblings older than yourself. Meaning, you get a chance to see all what they are learning and you can immerse yourself in what is to come for you.

Another aspect of being the baby of the family is to get a chance to spread your wings. You have a lot more leg room to move about the house when it’s just you. The living room is yours, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom, the everything is yours. That once small space seems so big now that you are the only one left in the house. And that small space brings me to another aspect of being the youngest. You develop a bond with the parent/s that is not quite like the older siblings. You are the last of the pack, and here is where the parent/s can spend really good quality time with the kid. And considering the older ones are living their own lives, you can have a lot to discuss with the parent/s.

And in the end, you have all these benefits of growing up the youngest. But with those benefits come the downside. That once vibrant house is very silent and no one is there to really converse with. You used to talk to each other, now it’s homework and television. For me, I was only about four years out the house right behind my second sibling. So for me it was not as bad, but imagine being in the house longer. Though even with any downside of being the youngest, I still wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love being the baby. (PERSONAL WEBSITE) (FAN PAGE)   

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“We are not what we used to be.”

We can’t pick them, we can’t get rid of them; and that is our family. The problems we face in life are challenging enough, but what about trying to appease the people who are closest to you. How about trying to live your life while they stand on the sidelines and judge. Sad to say, but sometimes these are people who can become more of a burden on your life than complete strangers. But why, why are families so much more tougher than others in society? Why is that these are the main people who you should be able to depend on the most that are the ones you have to sometimes protect yourself from the most?

Well, for starters because people feel that since you and them carry the same bloodline that constitutes they have a say in your life. Yes we are connected biologically, but we mentally we are different people. Just because we are spawn from the same lineage does not mean you know everything there is to know about me. As a matter of fact one of the reasons why relationships last so long is not just because you admit when you’re wrong and love your significant other. It has a lot to do with the idea that when you two have problems in the household you don’t pick up that telephone to call your family. Because family members are going to give you advice based on their own personal situations not what is good for you in life.

Where does this entitlement that since we are related you’re owed to something come from? Because every family has that mind-frame, why? In my opinion, I think people have that mind-frame because the meaning of what family is, is a very ambiguous meaning. It all depends on the person who is interpreting what is family. To one person, family does whatever it takes to help each other, some believe tough love is the best method. I look at family as everyone pulls their weight. Meaning if I have milk, you have cereal, this person has bowls, and this person has utensils, then “WE” can eat breakfast. Family is not for a single person or few carrying the load of all. Because usually what happens is if that person is longer around, the family dynamics collapse.

See, in the end, your family are not something you choose, but it’s what you’re born into. But that doesn’t mean  just because we have the same bloodline we know everything about each other. In addition, you shouldn’t tell family everything as well. Some things are mean’t for them not to know and some things are mean’t for them to know. 

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