PEER PRESSURE: WHY SO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE DON’T FIGHT IT

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“A time in life without a sense of self.”


When you’re growing up in school, you seek to fit into the environment of that academic space. And coincidentally enough, that space is not attaining the best grades, but more so trying to wear the latest fashion, and hang out with what is perceived to be the cool kids. And that word perception sticks out the most because your perception of each other is what’s the strongest, not the real person. Why is perception the most important, well it has to do with lack of facts. The facts that lead you into the inner workings of the real person. But who cares about facts, when you can easily makeup a perception that suits you just fine. And that is what we live by all growing up until we become adults and take on our own identities. That keeping your image together for what people think you is known as your reputation.

Now, considering your reputation proceeds you wherever you go, you work hard to keep that image in tack. But what if your image is not the image of what your peers think is acceptable for you to have in life. See, it’s easy as an adult to say, screw that, this is such a small window into the outside world, but kids don’t understand your advice. We can look at life from such a rational perspective, once you step out into the world. You have realized as an adult that no one truly cares how much swagger you have in life. You have to be able to be productive, but that built in understanding is not present in kids and teens. You can’t fully expect children to have that level of self-awareness, or that built in rejection mechanism that you get once you become adults. To them, this is your circle of friends for life. As adults we understand you may never see these individuals ever again once you graduate high school.

And not because you think you’re better than your friends, but more so, you start to out grow people’s mind frames. So the kids who were once your adversaries, eventually become people you have as associates. Now, there are those exceptions to the rule; such as the kids you just walk to the beat of their own drum. These kids are very few and far between, but they do exist. I took on the walk to my own beat after getting injured in sports. You go from, “Who is that boy that runs track and plays football so well,” to “He use to fly playing sports, oh well.” That’s when I learned people like you for what you’re doing, not necessarily because of you. So they generally gravitate toward that because we all want to be attached to something we perceive to be great, even if it’s for a short stint. Yet again, there goes that word perception; people perceived me to be great.

And in the end, that’s why fighting peer pressure is so difficult for so many young people. It’s not just the idea of wanting to not be the odd one out, but you want to be attached to something you perceive to be better than yourself. We all have this time in our lives where we want to be something other than ourselves. And once we see someone who appears to be doing anything remotely better than us, it looks appealing to us. So if the kid who has the latest sneakers growing up walks into school, we seek to be close and attach ourselves to that person. That person could potentially have a trouble home life, but they are perceived to be better because they are in a social class outside of where we see ourselves.


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ASSOCIATION IS MOTIVATION: HOW BEING IN A SOCIAL GROUP IS WORTH THE WORK

“How much is it worth being apart of the group?”


A lot of people want to belong to a social group. And for most of us, we have at some point in our lives were members or are members of a group. But what is the reason one need to belong to a group? Well, there are a multitude of reasons as to why. I have decided to write about the few reasons why so many have chosen to be apart of a group. My conclusion that I have come up with as to why we need a group is because of not wanting to become ostracized, fear of being alone, and a need to belong to something. These are, in my opinion, the top reasons why we join.

For starters, we don’t want to be ostracized like the others we deem to be losers. When you’re growing up in school, you want to belong to a group. And when I say belong to group, you want to  be one of the popular kids in school. We don’t pay heed to the personalities of the kids in the group or how they treat other people. We want to be accepted by our peers within the group. So, a lot of times we’ll join in on the ignorance of the group just to be accepted. The group skips school, you go with them. The group gets caught getting high, you’re with them. Whatever they do you do, just to belong. But this goes beyond school kids. There are adults who play the I would rather be in a group than not game as well.

This leads me to my next reason why people join groups. We as humans need some form of companionship. And being in a group is part of that companionship. Because think about it, who really wants to be alone. You see elderly people walking up the street. They have no friends, no family, no nothing. All they have is themselves and the thoughts in their heads. So with all that has been said, why wouldn’t you want to be in a group. Because then again, everybody want to be apart of something. Which leads into my third reason why we join groups. This is the main reason in my opinion why we all want to belong to something great.

Being apart of something great is an aspiration of most of us. Even if being apart of the group means just standing next to the greatness. It’s the reason we apply to certain colleges, associate with a certain groups of people, or work for a certain organization. Just look at the entourage of famous celebrities. Not everyone in that group has a purpose, but some people need to be in the vicinity of something great. In the end, we all want to belong to something. We hate being alone and yearn for companionship. Just as long as you don’t associate with a group that is detrimental to your safety, you’re fine.

Losing Mentalities

“I’ve been meaning to, I’ve been wanting to, I’ve always wanted to, I’ve been thinking about….”

It’s interesting how so many people want to be successful, but they are not willing to put in the time. The same line comes from their mouths: I’m thinking about or I’ve had this idea to. It never formulates into anything that leads anywhere. There is a reason why because they never were going to do it anyways. For some odd reason people have this mentality that is either a losing mentality or the idea of living in this fantasy world. They sit around and daydream about what they could be, yet never put in the time to make it work. It took me until I became an adult to realize that some people are not meant to do well in life. Some people need the conformity in their lives where they’re being told what to do.

Then you have the bunch that just won’t do anything even getting a job being bossed around. What do I mean a job being bossed around and told what to do. I’m talking about not following your passion. Where are you here on earth? What is it you’re meant to do. There are so many who will live their entire lives; their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and even 90’s never knowing what their life truly meant. But you have one life on this planet and one life only. Make it count because when those lights go out they go out forever. So what is keeping people from pursuing their true passions.

A strong reason that points to so many people not living to their full potential is family and friends. You would think fear plays a role, yet that is such a small aspect. We live in fear, mainly of failure. But failure is one of those things that only is a given, but expected and accepted. Plus that failure is worth it if you learn from your lesson the second time around. The thing with family is a few hurdles you run into. Number one, you assume that since it’s coming from friends and family, then they must be giving you advice that’s good for you. Yes and no. Yes because these are the people in your life who look out for you most. On the other hand friend and family or neither; no one should push you into a path unless they know you internally. Meaning, if they don’t know what drives you as well as you skills you possess, then it’s an assumption. Now you can follow their guidance, but if you do and aren’t content with the outcomes it’s your fault. Because ultimately it’s your life. And no one wants to claim responsibility for your unhappiness.

Number two reason, if you are taught to listen to your family, especially parents, disobeying your family may be a good or bad decision. And that is something no one tells you about being an adult and following your dreams. Sometimes you may have to disobey to be happy in life. That ultimate freedom and happiness cannot be replaced with any amount of money on earth. You want ti still be able to care your yourself, but no amount of money is worth your happiness.