PEER PRESSURE: WHY SO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE DON’T FIGHT IT

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“A time in life without a sense of self.”


When you’re growing up in school, you seek to fit into the environment of that academic space. And coincidentally enough, that space is not attaining the best grades, but more so trying to wear the latest fashion, and hang out with what is perceived to be the cool kids. And that word perception sticks out the most because your perception of each other is what’s the strongest, not the real person. Why is perception the most important, well it has to do with lack of facts. The facts that lead you into the inner workings of the real person. But who cares about facts, when you can easily makeup a perception that suits you just fine. And that is what we live by all growing up until we become adults and take on our own identities. That keeping your image together for what people think you is known as your reputation.

Now, considering your reputation proceeds you wherever you go, you work hard to keep that image in tack. But what if your image is not the image of what your peers think is acceptable for you to have in life. See, it’s easy as an adult to say, screw that, this is such a small window into the outside world, but kids don’t understand your advice. We can look at life from such a rational perspective, once you step out into the world. You have realized as an adult that no one truly cares how much swagger you have in life. You have to be able to be productive, but that built in understanding is not present in kids and teens. You can’t fully expect children to have that level of self-awareness, or that built in rejection mechanism that you get once you become adults. To them, this is your circle of friends for life. As adults we understand you may never see these individuals ever again once you graduate high school.

And not because you think you’re better than your friends, but more so, you start to out grow people’s mind frames. So the kids who were once your adversaries, eventually become people you have as associates. Now, there are those exceptions to the rule; such as the kids you just walk to the beat of their own drum. These kids are very few and far between, but they do exist. I took on the walk to my own beat after getting injured in sports. You go from, “Who is that boy that runs track and plays football so well,” to “He use to fly playing sports, oh well.” That’s when I learned people like you for what you’re doing, not necessarily because of you. So they generally gravitate toward that because we all want to be attached to something we perceive to be great, even if it’s for a short stint. Yet again, there goes that word perception; people perceived me to be great.

And in the end, that’s why fighting peer pressure is so difficult for so many young people. It’s not just the idea of wanting to not be the odd one out, but you want to be attached to something you perceive to be better than yourself. We all have this time in our lives where we want to be something other than ourselves. And once we see someone who appears to be doing anything remotely better than us, it looks appealing to us. So if the kid who has the latest sneakers growing up walks into school, we seek to be close and attach ourselves to that person. That person could potentially have a trouble home life, but they are perceived to be better because they are in a social class outside of where we see ourselves.


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SEX: Tell Or Someone Will

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“Better you than their friends.”

Why do parents insist on not being up front with their children regarding sex? They act as if they don’t converse about it, maybe their children won’t lose their virginity. Since when has that ever worked. As a parent our job is to talk to your children. The only problem today is that you have to talk to your child at even a younger age than previous generations. As a matter of fact, past generations didn’t even entertain the idea of their child having sex. I guess the more time progress, the more open we become.

But, there are still so many parents that don’t talk. We’ve all grown up or have been the person who goes, “I can’t talk to my parents about sex.” “They would lose it if I asked a question about sex.” Well, what about the emotions that still run deep. Males and females still have emotions as they come through puberty. You would think parents could connect, being they were adolescence. On the other hand, that may be a reason that parents can’t talk. They think back to when they were young. The thoughts that went through minds and the emotions in their hearts.

Yet, this actually is a more logical reason to have a discussion. How can you not teach your kid the realities of life? “Well, if I tell them, I am almost promoting it.” “I am in a way opening the door for them to engage.” These are the responses from parents as to why they can;t have the conversation. On the other hand, let’s say you’re right, talking to them anyways would lower the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STD). People with less education about STD’s are more likely to get and STD.

Well a more conservative parent says, “That’s why you wait until you’re married.” “Sex is for marriage, so you can’t get an STD when you’re married.” WRONG! As a matter of fact, married men and women have been diagnosed and continue to get diagnosed today and treated for STD’s. Well, isn’t marriage suppose to protect you from an STD. No, and the reason being is that if you never talk about sex, how do you bring up your significant others’ sexual history? Your parents didn’t talk, you never talked, now you don’t talk to your spouse.

So as you can see, having these type of conversations are very important. Especially if their friends are already talking to them. The friends will give them the misleading information which can lead to far more serious outcomes. Because they are going to find out, rather you tell them or not. It’s going to come from the person who brought them into this world. Or they are going to get outside advice. Which in turn you better hope that information is something they can grab hold on to.