Losing Mentalities

“I’ve been meaning to, I’ve been wanting to, I’ve always wanted to, I’ve been thinking about….”

It’s interesting how so many people want to be successful, but they are not willing to put in the time. The same line comes from their mouths: I’m thinking about or I’ve had this idea to. It never formulates into anything that leads anywhere. There is a reason why because they never were going to do it anyways. For some odd reason people have this mentality that is either a losing mentality or the idea of living in this fantasy world. They sit around and daydream about what they could be, yet never put in the time to make it work. It took me until I became an adult to realize that some people are not meant to do well in life. Some people need the conformity in their lives where they’re being told what to do.

Then you have the bunch that just won’t do anything even getting a job being bossed around. What do I mean a job being bossed around and told what to do. I’m talking about not following your passion. Where are you here on earth? What is it you’re meant to do. There are so many who will live their entire lives; their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and even 90’s never knowing what their life truly meant. But you have one life on this planet and one life only. Make it count because when those lights go out they go out forever. So what is keeping people from pursuing their true passions.

A strong reason that points to so many people not living to their full potential is family and friends. You would think fear plays a role, yet that is such a small aspect. We live in fear, mainly of failure. But failure is one of those things that only is a given, but expected and accepted. Plus that failure is worth it if you learn from your lesson the second time around. The thing with family is a few hurdles you run into. Number one, you assume that since it’s coming from friends and family, then they must be giving you advice that’s good for you. Yes and no. Yes because these are the people in your life who look out for you most. On the other hand friend and family or neither; no one should push you into a path unless they know you internally. Meaning, if they don’t know what drives you as well as you skills you possess, then it’s an assumption. Now you can follow their guidance, but if you do and aren’t content with the outcomes it’s your fault. Because ultimately it’s your life. And no one wants to claim responsibility for your unhappiness.

Number two reason, if you are taught to listen to your family, especially parents, disobeying your family may be a good or bad decision. And that is something no one tells you about being an adult and following your dreams. Sometimes you may have to disobey to be happy in life. That ultimate freedom and happiness cannot be replaced with any amount of money on earth. You want ti still be able to care your yourself, but no amount of money is worth your happiness.

Our Deepest Fears: What Marianne’s Words Meant To Me.

“Our Deepest fears are not that we are inadequate…”

The author Marianne Williamson stated in her novel A Return to Love that, “Our deepest fears are not that we are inadequate.” “Our deepest fears is that we are powerful beyond measure it is our light not our darkness that’s most frightens us.” The entire passage is one that I have come to know by heart because the meaning behind the words resonate so much with me. The quote prior resonates because you would think people would be afraid of their failures in life, yet it is success that scares them the most.

Well why does success scare people so much? Is it that they won’t be able to handle the attention that comes with it? Or is it the idea that the more you give to people the more they want; and you fear not being able to satisfy their need? Marianne went to answer these questions by saying, “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous.” “Actually who are you not to be?” Which only meant, when you look into the mirror, why second guess the reason you are in the position you’re in or was given the talents you possess? Why not you?

Marianne went on to state, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” “There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure when they’re around you.” We who possess such skills that set us apart from everybody else forces you to want to take a step back. We want to run with the pack even though we run faster than anyone in the pack. Why? Because we don’t want anyone else to feel insecure because they can’t keep up. So what do we do, we run with the group because we think it makes us noble. But it actually uncovers a character flaw that exist inside of us.

She let us know that, “You were made to manifest the glory of God that is within you.” “It’s not in some of us, it’s in everyone.” “And as you let your own light shine, you can unconsciously give others permission to do the same.” “As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” These quotes let us know that your power that you possess is not just in you it’s in everyone around you. The only difference between you and them, is that you actually will do what they only dream of doing. But once you step out into the world fearless and confident, this confidence frees up so many other people seeking to be just as great as you.

What’s interesting about Marianne Williamson’s novel, A Return to Love, is that our deepest is only a passage in the book. The book contained so much more than our deepest fears, yet our deepest fears are the constraints which harbor so many people from being the greatest version of them they can be. How did this passage help me? It freed me up to pursue my dreams in life. Dreams so many will never attempt; becoming a successful author and filmmaker.

You see, growing up for me was about going to college attaining your education. Upon leaving school, finding a job that not only pays every two weeks, but hopefully one which will assist in paying for graduate school in the process. Well, while going to graduate school, I found myself looking over my screenplay which had not been completed. Writing the script was a daunting task. So difficult I tossed it partially finished and continued to pursue my MBA. It wasn’t until I was almost complete with my degree I felt a lack of accomplishment.

Why? Because I was not pursuing anything I was passionately willing to do for the rest of my life. It was while finishing up my MBA I began to work more in New York City’s theatre scene that I picked-up my script once again. Finishing the script I took on new ideas and a new way of thinking. It was then I knew I didn’t belong in a corporate environment. Because the stories I have to tell, people need to read and listen to. That’s when Marianne’s passage started to resonate with me. My only reasons for not pursuing my dreams is not out of failure, it was fear of what comes with the success.

But the cost of me doing nothing felt like much more hurtful than doing something. I can live with working toward something and failing. What I cannot live with is the idea of reaching the age of 70, 80, or even 90, looking back going I should have. Because if you ask any man or woman in their elderly years what was their biggest regret in life they’ll tell you it’s no being reaching for the greatest them they could be. And that is more of a fear for me than anything in life. Getting to the end of my life and realizing it was for nothing. People might look and go, it looked nice to me, but what was it for me. Regret is one of the biggest pains of anyone in life. So in closing I say thank you Marianne, those words have been that bit of logic that have stuck with me for the past few years now. Those words as I journey through this tough terrain as a novelist and filmmaker: “Our deepest fears are that we are inadequate.” “Are deepest fears are that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Don’t Be Afraid, Just Leap

Standing on the edge of a cliff looking over into the distance, you observe the scenery. The waves ripple on the surface of the water in combination with the wind creating a cool breeze onto land. Down below waves collide with boulders projecting from the ground as well as in the water. Green moss and other plant life cluttered together, surrounding and growing on the boulders. Life from the sea emerges from the waters; some crawling onto land others popping their heads just enough to get a quick breathe of air before going back under. You take a deep breathe as you observe life around you, then you hear a noise from behind. You turn around to see someone running in your direction. You quickly move aside and the person leaps off the cliff. Your hands clasps together over your mouth and your eyes widen. The shock of what you have just leaves you concerned for their safety. You slowly creep toward the edge looking over, and you see them gliding safely with a parachute of their backs. You think to yourself, “Wow, how the hell did they do that?” “What would make them do something so crazy?” “But most of all, I wish I could do the same.” You know what I say, stop wishing and start living. Stop observing the scenery and get into the scenery. As you stand at the edge of the cliff, the base jumper gliding adds something that much more artistic to the backdrop.

These people are so inspiring; the jumpers. We think to ourselves I wish I could do that, I wish I had the courage to jump. But you can’t hope and wish, you have to just do it. See the fear comes from not succeeding and failing the first time you jump. We’re afraid of the bumps and bruises you’ll get when you jump. Let me tell you, the jumper got all those bumps and bruises at first as well. The problem is that we don’t see their bumps and bruises, we see the success of the jump. Sometimes we want to live vicariously through these people because they give us the opportunity to be dangerous without taking the risk ourselves. That’s fine and all, but we want to be more prosperous in life. And in order to prosper, you have to put yourself in position to make things happen; you have to create opportunity for yourself. This means putting yourself in harms way. And that’s when people have a hard time taking that leap of faith. No one wants to smash off the cliff, hit the rocks below, or risk drowning if falling into the water.

Well guess what, these are the risk that the jumper assessed and faced when jumping the first few times. Then, the more they jumped, the more successful they became. Something I hate to hear is, “I’m thinking about,” or “I’ve been meaning to.” Don’t think, do. You say, “Well I have to work a day job.” Fine, then work on your dream on your lunch breaks and in the evening when you get home. You say, “Ok, well I have children.” Fine, work on your goal during lunch break at work, then after your children have been put to sleep. You will be running off of limited sleep, but how bad do you want it. How bad do you want to parachute as well? “Well what about….” and that’s when I look you in the eyes and go, you really don’t want it do you? When you have so great you will do anything to protect it. When you are running on four to five hours of sleep and eating snacks on the go, that is when you will succeed. Don’t get me wrong, I understand your fears, most people can take fear, you don’t want to fall too low that you can’t get recover.

You know what, that is the worry of every successful person. Like I said before, putting yourself in harms way is what you have to do to succeed. Creating value for yourself can’t be done by hoping and wishing. You have to go out and jump; take that leap of faith. I gave you the encouragement to jump. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go. Oh, you wondering where I’m going, I have a cliff to jump off of; bye.