WHEN TO SAY WHEN: HOW TO ELIMINATE PEOPLE WHO AREN’T IN YOUR BEST INTEREST

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“Know when to throw in the towel.”


Packing your bags and removing people from your life can be a very tough decision to make. Because at times these are people that are the closest to you. They are usually friends and even family. You have to cut people loose sometimes because they tend to be more of a burden and hindrance in your life than an advancement. But how do you know if the person or people in your life are becoming a ball and chain. Trust and believe, you’ll know, you may try to act like you don’t, but you’ll know. And for those of you who don’t know what I mean here are a few examples of the ball and chain. They are generally people who leach off of you, they’re me people who only care about themselves, the jealous types who hate on your success, and they’re people who make excuses as to what’s wrong with everyone else but themselves.

How do you rid yourself of the first type of person or people; the leach. The leach are the ones who want to live off of your shine and success. They don’t use you as an example where they want to be in their own lives. They say, you’re successful, why don’t you take care of me. But it’s not your job to care for them, better yet, it’s their job to play catch-up. And if they are not bent on catching up, you have to leave them behind. Easier to do with friends, but what about in the case of family. What happens when someone whose a family member becomes a burden. You give and give, and nothing transpires from it. They just look at your act of kindness as weakness. That’s when you must cut them off, until they are willing to change.

Now the next  group of people who you have to cut loose are the ones who only care about themselves. They live for them and only them, and could care less who it effects you. They’re the all about me people, which is a mental illness in itself. Doesn’t matter who has something else going on in their lives, it’s all about me. My issues, my life, and you should want to revolve your decisions around me. This ball and chain have to be gotten rid of so that you can focus on yourself. If you have nothing but me people around you, you spend time trying to appease them while your own life fails. So in the case of these type of people, cut them, and cut them fast.

Now the third group of people are the jealous types. These are the people who see you shining and they would love nothing more than to see you fall. Well, why would people close to you want to see you fail? It goes from a lack of self-worth within that person or people. They look at you and see what they could have been, and express disdain. These are the people who are worse than leaches and me groups. You have to watch this bunch closer than your enemies because they’re already in your camp. They might look at you and think, “They use to be right here with me.” “They don’t deserve what they have.” “If they have what they have, and started with me at the bottom, it means I wasted my life.” These are toxic people and are only going to hurt you in the end.

The last group are the I got the short end of the stick group. They’re the ones who blame everything and everybody else but themselves. The world is out to get me group, and they want you to correct their lives because of it. These people you have to leave behind because they become a hindrance on your progress. And they’re a hindrance because if all you hear is negativity from them all the time, then it’ll start to infiltrate your mind and taint your thinking. Before you know it, your life has fallen off from you trying to help them out. You see, in the end, you have so many people in your life you will lose along the way. It’s painful, but it’s part of your growth in this world. Everyone is not meant to be in your life. And sometimes its comes from the unlikeliest of places such as friends or family.

BIRDS OF A FEATHER: WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP

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“Is it true that you are what you associate yourself with.”

“Watch the company and the crowd you bring.” If you’ve never heard this before, I’m sure you’ve heard of this one. “Birds of a feather flock together.” These are a couple of the statements of advice people are given about the people they choose to hang around. But, are these statements of advice always bad to live by in life? Is there ever a reason to flock with the same group of people? Well, in my opinion it’s all about the context of the reasoning behind flocking. What are some of the goods and bad of flocking with a group?

When looking at flocking in the same group of people, what about your career circle. If you are a professional in your field, you are far more likely going to hang around those in that field. Or you might even find yourself associating with people in a related field of interest. For example, a Nurse Practitioner and a doctor could be found hanging out in a group with other physicians. Maybe even top level physicians might associate with executive heads of the hospital. The executive may not be a doctor, but a top doctor is in the same realm.

What about flocking in the same group of people into the same or similar interest. If you are into traveling, you are more than likely going to find yourself associating with people who enjoy hiking, biking, and other leisure activities. Or let’s say you’re in a group of people who enjoy the single life of dating in a big city. You’re going to most likely hang with people who love the nightlife of clubbing and going to bars. But what about the opposite. What about the negative connotation that comes with flocking in the same group?

This is some good advice for a young teen or early adulthood male or female. When you’re young you think the people you’re hanging with can do no wrong. That’s until they start to engage in behavior that is harmful to them and those around them. As a young child you make friends and each of you take on these different personas as you age. So the person you know at 7 years of age won’t be that person 14 years, as they will at 21 years, or even at 30 years. So flocking in the same group might not last from childhood through adulthood. People who maintain these long term relationships are few and far between.

Why is that? Why do we move on from people we were once close with at one age, but not now? Because flocking with the same group might have to change. You might even flock in a group that you didn’t get along with during childhood that you do as an adult. Meaning the group you didn’t associate with as a teenager, you might learn to like as adults. A lot of changing your flock has to do with maturing and taking on different interest and viewpoints.

And that’s what it all boils down to, viewpoints and lifestyles. Flocking in the same group can be good if you are all headed down the right paths. But if you’re in a group that is not going anywhere in life they might be a burden. And hanging with them will further hinder you from growing.