LIFE’S GIFTS: DO YOU HAVE THEM OR HAVE YOU JUST WORKED HARD

“Gifts are free, trust me, it ain’t free.”


As a writer, you would think that one has a gift to be a writer. But, as a matter of fact, to say they have a gift discredits the hard work they put into their writing. You’re not born with it, but the fact that people think it is a gift can also be seen as a good thing too. Just as it seems discrediting, you also did your job by making it look so easy. Yet for some reason, if only people could see all the blood sweat and tears you put into your craft, they wouldn’t see it as some gift you were given. Ok then, why, why is it so hard for people to see that you put work in for so long.

One main reason it’s hard for them to see what you do as a gift is because anything they can’t do themselves must be some special power that you possess. And in order to be you, they must go to some far away land to be that great. When in reality it has nothing to do with being special. But another reason that people see what you do as a gift is because what they fail to notice everyday around them, you pay closer attention. And that is what separates the genius from the average person. Let’s look at Albert Einstein for a moment. He wasn’t some special type of guy, it’s just that a certain body of science peaked his interests. So he worked until he became good. Even his theory of relativity was discovered riding a bus home.

We all ride the bus, but how many of us ride the bus thinking to ourselves our body constantly in motion, relative to the bus’s movement if the bus were to stop. People usually think about errands or some other mundane activity. We don’t really travel thinking about science or mathematics. But for the people that do, their minds are always thinking about the complexities of life. Meanwhile, you’re stuck on your daily routine.

Because in the end, these are the people who supposedly are endowed with all the gifts. Yet what they have is no more than hard work and an open mind into whatever it is that interests them. What is the difference between you and Einstein: patience and love for what he does. He didn’t have a gift, for the longest he couldn’t even tie his shoe and he was a failure in science. He never took no for an answer and always came back wanting to know more and conduct more experiments.


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SEXUAL INSECURITY: HOW MEN STRAY FROM SEX DUE TO FEARS

Close-up of Woman Holding Condom

“Failure to launch because of failure to launch.”


As a young male, many of us have engrained fears as it pertains to sex. They can be anything from fear of getting a woman pregnant to catching an STD. But this topic is about how men have fears of sexual malfunction. The refusal to engage in sex due to not being able to perform. And that performance anxiety keeps some from being able to experience pleasure. And for that reason, those men typically self stimulate because there is no risk of not performing. You know what you want, and there is no risk of failure. So there are guys who actually bypass sex altogether to keep from experiencing a letdown.

Now, self stimulation is fine, but what happens when it is something done for a prolonged period of time? You become dependent upon it and can’t perform when you do have sex. But you also become detached from the person altogether. And that can also stem from not wanting to deal with the letdown. See for women it’s different. Performance is not something that can effect women in the same fashion. Why, well because it won’t stop a man from having sex with you. So your lack of performance won’t keep you from having a sex life. Men are the more dominant creatures, so we are expected to perform. But keeping yourself from performing out of fear hurts you more.

Why does it hurt you more? Well the guy who fears and does, is in the race more than yourself who don’t try at all. He is actually putting himself in a position to be better than you are by not attempting. Now, all of this might sound crazy, but this is a real life issue. Especially when guys are young between ages 17 – 25 years of age. You’re expected to be more at something that you are still becoming new to in life. So you really are unfamiliar until time goes on. But not attempting at all, like I said before, still puts you at a lose. Because most say wait until you get married. I disagree, just because it sounds good biblically, but it’s not a rational human reason.

Rational human reason meaning it’s a natural act to take part in. And the woman and the man could be just as miserable in the situation. So, now that you are married, you have to just deal for life. But if you are unsatisfied, there could be problems. For you as the guy, you might want to engage, but she is not the least bit interested. So, as a woman, what do you do? That’s why it’s never good to wait until this point. But at the same time, that means potentially losing a good situation. In the end, you will always have guys fear not performing. But it should not keep you from doing so. Because if you don’t at all, it’s the same as the guy whose bad at it.


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POINTING THE FINGER: WHY WE PENALIZE THOSE WHO TALK LIKE US

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“We love to point, but no one owns their own stuff.”


In today’s society, more and more, we are finding that people love to play the blame game. We love pointing fingers and chastising others for the language that they use. What’s crazy is that we use the same language and will find any excuse as to why we should and others shouldn’t. And to add to it, we have become a very dishonest nation. But where does it come from because it’s not like we’ve been great for so long and now all of a sudden we’re this sensitive of a country. In my opinion, a lot of it has to do with the availability of technology in our society.

Well, what does technology have to do with people pointing the finger. Because we are so connected and not just domestic, but internationally. The local news and major news outlets are no longer the only medium in getting live up to date coverage. Facebook live and YouTube allows the ability to view live real time events. So CNN, FOX, and MSNBC, along with ABC, CBS, and NBC, are all no longer channels we have to get our news from to track a story. But along with that tracking of coverage, we also have the social sites where everyone can have an opinion about anything and anyone. And if enough people come together as a collective, you forge ahead and push an agenda.

Now the only problem with pushing an agenda is that every agenda shouldn’t be the agenda a group is focused on. For instance, comedian and color commentator Bill Maher recently told a joke that was considered racially charged and insensitive toward African Americans. Meanwhile our current Secretary of Education Betsy DeVoe is trying to push a choice program that she was constantly asked will students be discriminated against. And time and time again she worded it in a way that would give districts the ability to deal with that matter. Meaning, discrimination could exist, but the government is not involved, which could lead to a Jim Crow atmosphere. What does this have to do with Bill Maher and agendas. That agenda is way bigger than what he stated, and it’s longer lasting.

Another example of the pointing fingers is how we look at celebrities and say they are public figures. They should not talk a certain way. True, but it also applies to you as well as the average person. Meaning, you shouldn’t say it or do it, but they really shouldn’t say or do it. But you’re both in an obligatory situation to carry responsibilities in society. Yet too often we use the public figure excuse as an undermining means to get away with our own ignorance. And it’s a shit hill, where everyone is getting shitty, but we point at other people’s shit. So celebrities say Trump is president, he shouldn’t talk a certain way because of his position. And you ask them about the language and actions in their environment. They immediately shut it down by saying he’s president. Yet average Joe’s make the same argument against them as it pertains to social responsibility.

My theory on this in society is that people are dissatisfied with life. They want to feel a sense of power, so they try to use your position against you. But when you say all people say this or do this, they never say that those people shouldn’t either. They say things like, “But you’re a public figure.” And there lies the weaseling your way out of responsibility. And the reason I say quality of life is because most of these feelings are not real. It’s just that if you are in a higher position and I am so low, then people think that constitutes being awful, since the successful person has more than them. And if they had to live by the same rules on top of being less successful, their lack of accomplishments are further magnified.

In the end, pointing will never go away. It’s only when the person doing the pointing get themselves into trouble. Then, they are quickly on the defensive about who does the same things in addition to themselves. The overall hypocrisy is what’s sickening. Have a standard that yes, people at certain levels shouldn’t do, but it’s still and action no one should do. Meaning I shouldn’t rape, but Trump really shouldn’t rape, yet neither one of us should conduct in rape against a woman.


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BREAKING AWAY: THE FEELING OF LEAVING SMALL TOWN AMERICA

Image result for SMALL TOWN america

“Why broadening your horizons could help you grow?”

Coming from a small town, I moved to New York City back in the 2011. The city was in Wisconsin with a population of 78,000. Very few people take it among themselves to leave their surroundings. But as for me, I wanted more: to see more, experience more, strive for more. The comfort in living in small town USA can be almost like a crutch for a lot of people. The daunting task of removing yourself from your environment can be tough. Another reason for not leaving is that you don’t want to be the person who leaves. Then you’re forced to come back because you can’t make it in the big city.

Well, let me put it to you this way. As a person coming from small town America, there are a lot of people in your surroundings not surviving anyways. So what’s it to you to put yourself out there and try. We are all so caught up in what someone else will think and not ourselves. I’ll tell you from experience, that just making the move is a lot more than anyone else around you would do. You made the initiative to jump from a small place to a big place. Most are far too afraid, so you’ve already defeated the odds just doing that much. Now, as far as success is concerned, what do you aspire to become.

For me it’s writing. Now I know what you’re thinking, you can write anywhere. But living in New York City is an inspiring location. Whether its venturing into the heart of Manhattan or staying around in my Harlem neighborhood. There is also so much to do in the outer boroughs, or better yet New Jersey is right across the river. Coming to this city for graduate school, I sort of threw myself into the mix. What’s funny is that I never visited New York until I came for graduate school. That is a major risk because what if I didn’t like the city.

But what happened is that I fell in love with this major city. And when I say major I mean major. Coming from a 78,000 population to a metropolitan population of 25 million with over 60 million tourists is a quantum leap. People have told me, I never would have made the leap. But I guess that’s what separates me from them. I am not afraid to step into a new surrounding. I’ve even contemplated moving to another major city; maybe Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Miami. So you ask me, how do you overcome such fears and move away.

Well for starters, I came for graduate school and stayed in campus housing. That was a great way for me to start in a new city. I had a roof over my head and food in my mouth. This helps when moving anywhere new. But even after grad school ended, then what? Well, next I am a more fearless person. I’m not afraid of failing in my pursuit of what I want in life. Which is what it takes to live in a bigger city. You have to put yourself in harms way sometimes so that good things can happen to you.

I also had a support system from back home. This also doesn’t hurt when moving to somewhere new as well. Having loved ones who believe in you can really help. You see, in the end, fears and the unknown keep people from leaving their surroundings. No one wants to fail, or at least fail to hard. But you have to jump off of cliffs. You have to trust yourself and believe that eventually you’ll glide safely to the ground.

Get Ish Done!

Image result for hard work

“Success is an uphill battle.”

We all know what it is, we all think we do it, but few actually do. What am I talking about, I’m talking about the grind. I always hear how people talk about the grind, the grind, the grind. But how many people actually are on their grind. Let me tell you about my daily grind.

5:00 am – Waking up

5:30 am – Leaving for part time job

7:00 am – start work

11:00 am/Noon – off work

12:00 pm/1:00pm – working on storyboard for my next short film, wordpress blogging posts

4:00 pm – 8:00 pm – (sometimes work second shift on job)

5:00 pm – writing and structuring my novel/short stories/videoblogging

10:40 pm – leave computer lab

12:20 am – sleep

7 days per week.

That’s right, my goal is film making and I make it a lifestyle. I am not talking about it, but I am actually doing instead of talking. How come people don’t do, but talk? My best guess is that they are in a romantic daydream by talking. The daydream becomes real once they embark on that road of grinding. That’s a scary decision to make also. I mean come on, who is willing to put so much of their life on hold for building their future.

Come on, guys my age are thinking about work, hooking up, and blazing up. But me, I am constantly thinking, what is my next move. Oh, and by the way I just started my YouTube channel of building awareness for my upcoming projects. My second short film in the spring, my novel and short story book by the beginning of the winter, as well as my daily blog posts on WordPress. This will be my base to start from when also trying to catch the attention of a literary agency.

So as you can see, I am in a race. I am in a race against time. When you’re in the paradigm it seems like an eternity. Why does time drag when you’re grinding and hustling? I wish I knew how to speed up the clocks to the point where I am successful at what I do. But why click forward, these experiences are just what I need to make myself successful and maintain a strong career. I always remember the quote, “Opportunity meets preparation.” Everything I do is in preparation for my future. Now let me ask you something, what is your daily grind?