IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY: HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THE LOWS OF LIFE

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“The struggle is real, but you will get through it.”


For me, I grew up in a poor household with my two sisters where I was raised by my mother. And that was my adversity, but someone else’s adversity could be something different. No matter the adversity, we all have the ability to overcome any low point in our lives. For me, writing has been that thing that has pulled me through mentality. I have tried therapy, which came at a monetary expense that I can not deal with any longer. Then I went back to my writing, and the days where I was at my lowest mentally, I would push whatever I was feeling out onto my Microsoft Word Doc. And sometimes, when I was finished writing, I could see that at that moment I was in a very dark place. A place that from time to time creeps up on me, but now I have something to combat the situation.

Now, let me ask you, how do you overcome adversity? Or better yet, what are some ways that you can overcome your current situation. You might say to yourself, this is not a current situation, more so a past situation that I never got over. But as long as you’re going through it still, it’s current. As long is there has not been a successful step in dealing with your issues, then you are currently dealing. And all of what I have said in this paragraph has to do with the mental issues of life. Some days you’re off balance, other days you’re right where you need to be. Your mental state can sway from moment to moment. And if you have found a way like I have to deal, then fine, otherwise this topic is for you. The anxiety, the depression, the anguish, the guilt; everything that is the mind that is working against you.

Yet, everything is not tied into the mind. Sometimes your mind is healthy, but somewhere else in your life is low, and need to be brought up. Like I said earlier, I grew up poor, which is a socioeconomic situation so many deal with in America. But how have you overcome this economic issue? And if not as of yet, what are you currently doing to move yourself into another space? I know for me, I came from poverty, (didn’t seem like it, but we were) and could get a job just as my sisters today. But as much as I don’t want poverty for myself, I want a career I love which is what I am giving you in this moment: my writing. So what is your career pursuit that will aid you in your adversity removal? Do you know where to start? Have you started and having a hard time finding your way? If you have found your way, how did you get there?

See, in the end, we all have some pitfall in life. Something we are currently dealing with or something in the past that has caused our lives to hit a stand still. As with the photo of the man at the top of the screen pushing the boulder. We have some form of internal struggle that feels as if we are pushing a boulder uphill. When really, the boulder is well within our control. And a lot of times it requires us to get out of our own way, not removing the boulder. Because it is the us inside of us that need to be dealt with, not he illusion of a fixed object in our path.


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SEEKING VALIDATION: THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-RESPECT

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“You don’t need, you just want to fit in so bad.”


Throughout my life, I never understood the need people have to fit in. And I don’t mean fitting into a society as a human. I mean fitting into these peer groups so that we don’t feel like we’re being left out. We would rather belong to a group that dictates how we live than to be free and be alone. Because who wants to live this life alone. But there is a far cry between being alone and lonely. Celebrities have people all around them and at times they are lonelier than those with no one around. So why do people feel like they need to fit it rather than treating it as a want.

It starts when we are young in school. The children ostracize you from the group if you are awkward. And what is defined as awkward is the kid that does not do what all the other kids are doing. So if you are a kid that walks to the beat of your own drum, you’re a loser. You’re a lame for not wanting to fit into the construct. The kids talk about you and laugh like you’re one of the weird kids. But this does not stop at childhood. It continues on into your teenage years and into adulthood. So we as adults say school bullying is wrong and then bullying takes on a new form once you become adults. People start to play with your head on a more business level. But we still have not gotten to the depths of why it matters to be validated so much.

And the reason being is that we as humans yearn for some form of companionship. And at times we are willing to subjugate ourselves to torment for that companionship. Because we all have these self-conscious feelings internally that we don’t want exposed to the world. This feeling that if we are exposed then no one will want to ever be around us. Yet if we all have it, no one can talk about anyone else. Then again, internal shame keeps us in check and adhering to each other. Maybe at a young age I was a different type of kid. Then again I am a different type of adult. And as an adult people respect you for who you are, not what you’re trying to be.

See, in the end, validation is proof that you are who you think you are; but only by way of how others see you. So you’re the greatest when people love you, and not so great when they reject you. Your identity should be your identity, not someone’s else’s vision. And what’s even more interesting, people, who are heads of these peer groups do as they wish. The more popular person sets the tone for everyone else. Which is a reality that we see throughout life. The head says something, and even if we disagree, we agree for the sake of fitting into the group.


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