Close-up of Woman Holding Condom

“Failure to launch because of failure to launch.”

As a young male, many of us have engrained fears as it pertains to sex. They can be anything from fear of getting a woman pregnant to catching an STD. But this topic is about how men have fears of sexual malfunction. The refusal to engage in sex due to not being able to perform. And that performance anxiety keeps some from being able to experience pleasure. And for that reason, those men typically self stimulate because there is no risk of not performing. You know what you want, and there is no risk of failure. So there are guys who actually bypass sex altogether to keep from experiencing a letdown.

Now, self stimulation is fine, but what happens when it is something done for a prolonged period of time? You become dependent upon it and can’t perform when you do have sex. But you also become detached from the person altogether. And that can also stem from not wanting to deal with the letdown. See for women it’s different. Performance is not something that can effect women in the same fashion. Why, well because it won’t stop a man from having sex with you. So your lack of performance won’t keep you from having a sex life. Men are the more dominant creatures, so we are expected to perform. But keeping yourself from performing out of fear hurts you more.

Why does it hurt you more? Well the guy who fears and does, is in the race more than yourself who don’t try at all. He is actually putting himself in a position to be better than you are by not attempting. Now, all of this might sound crazy, but this is a real life issue. Especially when guys are young between ages 17 – 25 years of age. You’re expected to be more at something that you are still becoming new to in life. So you really are unfamiliar until time goes on. But not attempting at all, like I said before, still puts you at a lose. Because most say wait until you get married. I disagree, just because it sounds good biblically, but it’s not a rational human reason.

Rational human reason meaning it’s a natural act to take part in. And the woman and the man could be just as miserable in the situation. So, now that you are married, you have to just deal for life. But if you are unsatisfied, there could be problems. For you as the guy, you might want to engage, but she is not the least bit interested. So, as a woman, what do you do? That’s why it’s never good to wait until this point. But at the same time, that means potentially losing a good situation. In the end, you will always have guys fear not performing. But it should not keep you from doing so. Because if you don’t at all, it’s the same as the guy whose bad at it. 

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