LOOKED DOWN ON: HOW CAN ONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOU

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“Who are people to make you feel bad?”


I have heard people say things like, “This person or people are always trying to make me feel about something.” But in my opinion, no one can make you feel bad about something that is not already in your head. They are just able to point out the thing that you are trying to hide. And they are able to use that to manipulate and make you feel bad because their own lives are in shambles. But it can’t work unless you allow it to work. So how do people allow it to work? By opening themselves up and being around people who frown on you. What are some ways people frown on you?

One way people can make you feel bad about yourself and frown on you is by having a child too young. Now in my opinion, like I said before, no one can make you feel bad. But they can if you feel any form of regret. And when it comes to having a child too young, then they can see that. You might ask, how so? You are not giving off any indication that you feel bad about having a child young. It’s not what you’re giving off, it’s life. They know that when you reach a certain age you look back and say to yourself, “Man I should have waited.” But that regret puts you in a a strange position. Because you don’t regret your child.

See, in context, not all regret is bad. It’s one thing to say I wish I had of waited and I wish I didn’t have this kid. One is less harsh than the other, but the minute we hear regret it speaks negativity. But the connotation it carries is up to the person who is on the end of the regret. Life is hard, and people know this, so regrets are part of life. And they know you will see this hardship and wish you had of waited. But like I said, if you don’t feel that way it means nothing. Yet, is having a child the only way people try to frown on you and make you feel bad about decisions you make.

No, with staying in line with a child, how about being unwed when you have a kid. Unless you feel you should be with the person you had a child by, it’s hard to convince someone they made a mistake. But they can make you feel hurt if you have the slightest feeling of regret. And there goes that “r” word again. Regrets seep into people’s lives and it hurts deep when other people can see it. But why, why do we allow people to bring us down? A major part of it has to do with wanting to fit into the dominant society. We don’t want to be ostracized so we live according to the status quo. If that status quo says marry with a child we do so. And another part has to do with wanting to not be a statistic. Usually, if we are doing something that people try to make us feel bad about there is some form of negative connotation that leads to failure in their minds.

See, in the end, you are the only one in charge of your feelings. If I think you are ugly and you think you’re not, how does it have an affect. It does affect if part of you is self-conscious about your looks. I can capitalize off that emotion and make it work for me. Carve out your own identity and let no one make you feel bad in life.


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CRASH AND BURN: WHY SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE TO SEE THE TRAIN WRECK

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“Why do they build you up just to see you fall down?”

Growing up, you come from nothing and work your ass off. Eventually you become a success. People flock to you because they know where you came from in life. Everyone loves a rags to riches story. It gives them hope of maybe not quite the financial success, but a better way of life than they have at the moment. But where does this veer off into a whole other path. What do I mean by that; I mean what makes people become irritated with you? It’s almost as if your continuous success begins to make people sick of you.

Well why; why do people want to see a train wreck even though they know how far you’ve come in life. Ok, to be honest, everything is in context. I don’t think everyone hates you because your continuous success means you have a pretty good base of people who patronize your work. I’m talking about the people who want to be around for the collapse. Celebrities have to deal with people like this on a national level, but the everyday Joe has to deal with the same thing as well. But how does the average Joe deal considering the people that hate on them are usually friends and family.

I have a few reasons as to why people love to see the train wreck once you’ve become successful. One of the reasons is that people want to still be able to connect to you. Once you’re successful and that’s it, you become someone they can’t relate to. Your screwing up and falling shows that slight bit of normal to that person who doesn’t like you. Without a fall, especially if you’re really successful, they grow to be resentful.

Which leads to my next reason as to why people love to see a fall. The other is the feeling that your success is confirmation that they have not done much in life. If you worked in your 20’s and they partied, but now you’re very financially by age 30 and they have just become serious, they’ll sometimes resent. They realize that if they could have those ten years back, it could be different. The more successful you become the more they resent. Eventually, if the person is someone close to you, you have no other choice but to lose that relationship.

In the end, I don’t care how much disdain you receive, never compromise. And when someone hates you because you’re successful, become more successful. Learn to get revenge by being great. Not to rub it in the faces of people who hate you. But show them they don’t have an effect. Because once you crack under the pressure, they’ll continue to forge ahead. But remember to also never lose sight of the people who love you for achieving your dreams. And note that if you’re still successful, you have more love than hate.