COPING WITH LOSS: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A DEATH IN THE FAMILY

Image result for cemetery

“We all cope in different ways.”


One of the hardest, if not the hardest moment of your life is losing a loved one. We all have these ideas of how we’re going to deal with the situation. We even go as far as purchasing insurance and putting together wills for when that time comes. But even with all the preparation it’s still a sudden blow to the family. So what is your way in which you have learned to cope with the death of a close family member? We all have our way of dealing. I know in my life time I have lost three close relatives: all three were my grandparents. And even though they were elderly, you’re never ready for them to go.

Some people become what I call the reclusive types. They go and hide, and no one sees them for a very long time. The sudden death is too much for them to deal with, so they have to get away. It takes these people sometimes years to gain the courage to visit the grave site of a loved one. And depending on how they died, it could really have taken a toll on reclusive people. In addition to the death and how the person died, reclusive people might also be a solitary type of person anyways. So the death just added to the further recluse behavior.

Now the other group of people who cope with death are the people known as the abusive types. These are people who usually deal with a lose by turning to some form of self-deprecating behavior. The harm to ones’ self can come in the form of drugs, sex, and/or alcohol. They are people who already have a hard time dealing with any minimal lose. Now they have to live with this major lose. So it wears down on them to the point they themselves become a detriment to their lives and people around them.

Now, another group of people are known as the spiritual types. They look at death and try to find the religious angle in coping. Their belief is that the person is somewhere better than here. The struggle in life is over and the person is on to something far more greater. And this coping mechanism makes it easier to deal with their own mortality. The end is a very terrifying realization, so to be able to look death in the eyes and deal with that, it’s quite uplifting. Yet, there is still one more group of people who cope with death that is different than the rest.

The last group are the types that fall under the category of realist. They are geared toward a less spiritual outlook. Thy tend to be more scientific in their viewpoint. They don’t abuse alcohol or substances, nor do they become recluse. These realist look at life and go, we all will die. The human body is only made to live 40 years, so the fact that we get 78 years is a miracle in disguise. Anything beyond 78 years and life is fair to this bunch; beyond fair. To these people, why asks for more, when there is so much greatness right here on Earth to experience.

In the end, we all have ways that we deal with death. I can’t say one person’s way is better than another way. It’s however you’re able to deal with death. I’ll say that if I were more of one than the others, I would be more of the recluse type. It’s a lot easier for me to look at death out of mind out of sight. Still thinking about the person, but place the death somewhat to the back of your mind. I’ll remember more good times than bad so I don’t have to deal with the constant death reminder.


https://www.facebook.com/groups/1777548702458281/

https://faheemjackson.squarespace.com/ (PERSONAL WEBSITE)

https://www.facebook.com/fjacks063 (FAN PAGE)

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_0?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Afaheem+jackson&keywords=faheem+jackson&ie=UTF8&qid=1492966094&rnid=2941120011   

@fjackson12345 Instagram

@2320howe Twitter

Advertisements

BELIEF IS ACTIVE: WHAT YOUR FAITH SAYS ABOUT YOU

Image result for FAITH

“Believing in you, inside and out.”


What does faith mean to you? What does having a belief system mean to you? Is it important to have a faith base in our society or not? And when I say faith base, it does not necessarily have to be religious. I always find it odd when I hear people who have no faith. Now, when I say faith, like I said before, does not have to be religious. They can simply have faith in the idea of waking up tomorrow morning. But there are people in society that don’t even have that much. What does that say about a person who believes in nothing? What goes on inside of their minds on a daily?

Let’s first observe how people of a religious mind think for just one second. These are the people who either verbally or non-verbally express their thanks. They thank God for giving them yet another day on Earth. They pray that God gives them strength to get through the day. And they also pray that add the end of the day, he gives them yet another day tomorrow. So, to these people, they believe that there is a force, a deity rather, that is so strong it is above them. It is a force from the hand of God which places them in their situation of good spirits, good health, and an overall, good life. Because without him, they could not make it through the day. But what about other viewpoints?

What about the people who believe in their own personal selves outside the realm of a deity. They wake up optimistic no matter how rough the day might turn out. To these people, their belief in their capabilities will propel them forward. And their held belief in self is what makes up their overall faith base. They are generally people who deeply understand their own mortality. They realize that the end is inevitable, and it gives them a sense of urgency in life. “Go for the gusto,” they say to themselves. Because when the lights go out, they’re out forever. Make this one life count because it’s the only one you have to live. And believing in self at times can be just as strong if not stronger than your religious faith base.

But what about the people who don’t have anything they believe in or look toward? They are the people who just work and live to just exist. Luckily for me, I have something that keeps me going in life. That something to believe in, gives me hope and I have faith in my personal success. But there are people who live and then they die. Never in life experiencing anything remotely good or of pleasure. What does that say about them? What happened in their lives that they have no belief in anything? Not religion, not themselves, not other people, not even other living organisms. They have absolutely nothing to look forward to in life. And those are the people who are of the more depressed bunch.

Not having any faith is odd to me because what is your purpose. And I don’t mean just career, but existence. They refuse to commit suicide, well most don’t, so why exist. What is it that keeps them waking up? For most, it’s hopefully things will get better in life even if they don’t. And just like that, belief; just like that, faith. See, in the end, I don’t think that we have all these people who lack faith or belief. If we did, suicides would be of grave concern in society. The fact that people don’t take their own lives is belief that life may get better. Even as miniscule as it might seem, there is something there. An ember of some sort; if only the person could harness that ember and move on from that point, they might actually attain happiness.


https://www.facebook.com/groups/1777548702458281/

https://faheemjackson.squarespace.com/

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_0?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Afaheem+jackson&keywords=faheem+jackson&ie=UTF8&qid=1492966094&rnid=2941120011 

@fjackson12345 Instagram

@2320howe Twitter