SO UNFAIR, YET OH SO FAIR: WHAT DOES LIFE REALLY MEAN?

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“What is your meaning of it?”


Life is unfair! I finally got life figured out! Life sucks! These are the statements that people make when asked about life. So many say that you have to live your whole life to actually figure it out. But do you really need your entire life to figure out life. But let’s be clear about something regarding what really is life. Are you talking the living or talking just life in general? Because we use this interchangeably, but both have different meanings. The word life is existing, it’s what I am doing in this moment typing. Or it’s what you’re doing in the moment reading this topic. But the idea of living on this planet is a whole other ball game. So what is so tough about life on Earth?

Well, for starters, let’s observe what life is. As a life form, we are Carbon based that has taken just over one million years to fully evolve. We’re still evolving, but the change is something we can’t take notice to in the present state. Our life expectancy is 40 years of age, but due to scientific research we live to be 78 years of age.  So to say that life is not fair, just does not resonate with me. What is so unfair about the idea that humans only have a one in seven million chance of life anyways. And if you don’t know what I mean by one in seven million, only one sperm will fertilize an egg in seven million. With those odds, life is a great existence. Now, on the other hand life is hard and life is unfair.

But let’s observe what it means to have a hard life. You wake up every morning, and go to your day job. After work, you come home eat and watch television. Monday through Friday is your routine, then Friday evenings you hang out. Saturdays are lounge or errand days, while Sundays prepare you for Monday. The majority of people on Earth will live like this until they die. So to them, an existence might be rather mundane. But that only tells me the their daily regimen. What about if they have utilities piling up, rent to pay, mortgages, loans, and personal expenses. The average person struggles financially, meaning you’re more than likely not working a job you like. And this is where the saying life is unfair comes into play.

But let’s pause for a second. This in itself only tells me people’s hardships. It does not explain why life is unfair. That’s because in reality life is not unfair; life is very fair, too fair to be real about it. What is unfair is the aspect of dealing with people. If every human on Earth vanished and you were the only one left, what would be your hardest struggle. A lot of people would say survival. But you now have unlimited fruits, vegetables, water, resources for shelter and clothing. How can life be a struggle? Because people regulate food and water. I live near the Atlantic Ocean, and if I were hungry and needed food, it would be a crime to fish from the water. So most people would say life isn’t fair. But life is the waters, life is the sea life. There is nothing unfair about that. It’s people who established a gaming commission so I can’t fish.

In the end, we feel that so much around us is unfair. Yet the Earth has an abundance of resources. The fact that you don’t have the access is not that life is unfair. People have created means of making it virtually impossible to gain access to those resources.  So the way to thrive throughout life is not to think of life as unfair. But if you can manage to navigate the minefield that is us, humans on Earth, then you’ll be fine.

KID GAMES: DON’T LET ‘EM DIVIDE YOU

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“Are you more strategic than your offspring?”

“Mommy, can I have some ice cream?” “No sweetie, you have to wait until you eat dinner first.” “Daddy, can I have some ice cream?” “Sure son, go ahead, but don’t eat too much.” “We still have to eat dinner.” And just like that, a parent has made a vital mistake in raising their child. There must be one voice in the household when raising a child. If that kid knows that they can run to one parent and always get an ok over an objection, that smells problems for your relationship. This also means that knowing they can get away with some things around one parent and not the other. The structure need to be clear and spoken from one voice.

What I mean by one voice is that if your kid comes to you asking for something they must know that when you say yes or no it means that on both sides. If a kid know they can play both sides, that speaks to the lack of communication from the parents. We are currently seeing the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; where he seems to be more strict and she is more lax. This can be a recipe for disaster if both people are polar opposites. It’s fine to be a little bit different in the parenting styles, but too much difference results in long term problems; as seen with the Pitt-Jolie situation.

But since I am on the topic of divorce; what about communication here. It works so long as the parents are on the right page. But it’s hard to be on the right page with a child if parents are still bitter about their personal situation. Under these circumstances children really are in control. Because one parent might allow the kid to get away with more as a way to spite the other parent. For instance, daughter wants to have a boyfriend, but dad says no. Mom has sole custody, and is fine with daughter having a boyfriend. Daughter wants to date, so she is able to play her parents against each other because she knows they don’t get along.

This is an issue especially if the daughter finds herself in a serious situation and can’t find a way out. She will go to the parent that allowed her to break the rules to bail her out. Now mom has to bail her out because she went over dad’s head in the first place to prove a point. And if he finds out, it could make her look irresponsible. Or, on the other hand, mom might call dad and say guess what your daughter did, just to get a rise out of him. Daughter was using this divide in faction to her advantage. Now that she is in trouble, with the two of them bickering, she is unable to fix her situation. So the scheme that helped her is now backfiring.

In the end, children need to know they can’t play parents for fools. If they fell that one allows them to get away with more, they’ll run to that parent. Only problem is that when trouble arises, with both parents fighting the child suffers. So a child, even in the case of divorce, need to understand that both parents are on the same page. Even if both parents don’t get along, the child should not see that take place. Remember, you’re the adult; you’ve been on this planet longer than they have been. Don’t let them think they know life more than you. You should be the ultimate gamer.