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“I wonder if they are ahead or am I just paranoid.”

You ever get the feeling like everyone is doing more than what you are doing? Like their lives are more interesting than your own life. I will go onto the internet and scope out the people in my age group who are getting married and buying their starter homes. Or, looking at their snapshots of them on vacation. But my life has taken a different turn. My interest has no real pathway to take and you can land in your position at any moment. And that goal that I am pursuing is a writing career. It takes years and years of consistent writing, but hopefully it works out.

And see, hopefully is the word of the day. Most people don’t set out to pursue a career in what they really want to do because of the fear they’ll never make it in life. No one want to set out to attain something just to be disappointed in the end. You work at your craft, all the while people your age are seeming to be doing something much more interesting than yourself. They go out to bars and nightclubs, and take on monogamous relationships. But if you’re traveling an unconventional road, you may not be able to take part in too much fun. Especially early on in your career pursuit.

Well why, why can you not take pleasure in your youthful activities like everyone else? And the reason being, when you go to school to become a doctor, engineer, lawyer, academic, or any other profession, you have somewhat of a path. Unconventional careers like screenwriting, playwright, author, and blogger don’t really have a path. Of course there are people who provide you with how they did it, but that is just how it worked for them. You have to take their advice and carve out a way to make life work now for you. September 20th will mark my 30th birthday, and I don’t feel like the average guy my age, but I’m not willing to give up my pursuit.

You would think a guy my age would be doing the typical things everyone else is doing. But, I don’t want to get married or have children. I’m not interested in buying my first starter home, nor do I want to indulge in partying on the weekends. So for me, pursuing my career choice is easy to the extent where I can focus on this one thing. There are moments I walk pass the bars in New York City and see people my age engaging with each other, But I made my mind up that I wanted to be a great writer. I wake up and on days I’m not working I am blogging. Then I write for draft of my second novel and short stories book. But let’s not forget my screenwriting and filmmaking.

And the only reason I added filmmaking is because there are projects I genuinely want to do myself. So what now, I have a long road ahead of me. Most guys my age are focusing on long term relationships as well as women who are seeking husbands for marriage. But I am already thinking about film, theatre, and book ideas for the next few years to a nearly a decade from now. In the end, I really don’t know what the average guy my age is doing because I am so focused on my own goals. I’m pretty sure they’re having a social life and dating. As for me, I would much rather utilize my time pursuing what I love than fitting into what the crowd is doing. 

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“Once you start, what is it really?”

In my early 20’s I tried figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. By my mid 20’s what I wanted actually involved working toward the goal. And the main goal was to be self employed in my career endeavor. Now that I know what I want to do, which is working as an Independent Filmmaker as well as a Novelists, I go how should I really attack this goal. At the moment I am finishing up my first novel & book of short stories and working on my next short film. My age for self employment is 30/31 years of age. But there is this uncomfortable grey area that people have a hard time discussing.

The hard discussion for self employment for starters is the day-to-day work. With my career interests, it’s not like working at an office starting my own company or managing my own restaurant. Sustaining myself as a writer means spending a lot of time sitting in a room alone. And with my own thoughts, pushing out something, not always compelling, but something that will capture a readers attention. Here is the catch, capture their attention where they will want to purchase my books or watch my films. How do you know what people will gravitate to is tough.

Like right now, I am finishing my first book about a boy who can talk to God. God gives him guidance as he navigates life coming from elementary school into middle school. But also aiding him in coming to grips with a divisive household as well. Sounds interesting to me, but how will it be received by an audience. Will they go, this is interesting, I want more from this author, or will they say, stick to your day job. Only time will tell; and yet that’s just the writing. What about living on a day to day basis? You don’t know what your income could be month to month. You might make $5,000 one month and $500 the next.

That’s why being an established writer is important. But how do you know even when you’re established how much you will make. And don’t get me started on the film career. How will it get written? Is it good enough of a story to write? If written, who wants to purchase the script? Who wants to invest in my script to make into a film? Once finished will it get distribution or will I have to self distribute? Even with all what has been said, will anyone want to watch the movie? So here I am, two careers that are extreme risk. A risk that could make you very very successful or a failure.

I guess that’s why parents encourage their children to go to school, get a half descent career. Then every two weeks get your check, pay bills, eat, maybe a vacation per year and that’s it. It’s a mundane life, but a hell of a lot safer than the unknown of being self employed; especially when you’re pursuing my interest. You grow up and tell people I want to be a doctor, a lawyer, engineer, or school teacher they smile and give you adulation for your future plans. But then if you say, hey when I grow up I want to think for a living. I want to challenge the minds of people by writing compelling stories. Oh and you really want to tick them off, use Spielberg’s saying, I dream for a living.

Most people are going to encourage you to wake up. Because there is no time to dream in the real world. And there you have it. Funny thing about me being so lost as to where I will turn next, it’s normal. A lot of young people with day jobs are asking themselves that same question. Your whole life you think there is this path to take in life for success. But the fact of the matter is that there is no path. The path can be straight, then veer left, turn right, go in reverse, and back straight again. There is no one way of getting to where you want to be. But hopefully you get there; and as long as you get there hopefully it was worth the journey.