Growing up in my mother’s house, my sisters and I were always encouraged to attain our education. So naturally, as with any child who grew up in an environment of stability, I chose to go along with the flow. What I didn’t understand is the realization of education in our society. After high school, I went off to undergraduate as both my sisters have gone before me. From the moment I walked onto campus, students were all being helped into their dorms by their families. I, on the other hand moved in alone. Not only that, but in an entirely different region of the country. As I navigated through the campus, making my way to my dorm, something made me feel out of place. Not understanding where this feeling came from, I ignored it and kept proceeding on.
In my first semester this feeling of being out of place returned and I made the decision to return home for college. Transferring back to the University of Wisconsin-Parkside in Spring of the year 2007, I decided to major in Business Management with more of a concentration in Marketing. Now why am I bringing my major into play? Because at the time of applying to college, I was researching where numerous articles and countless commentary focused on business degrees. Being influenced by these opinionated individuals who were well-respected academics, I decided business just made sense. The only problem, is that all throughout my undergraduate studies college just didn’t make sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love education, but it’s school I don’t understand.
There are so many expectations for students once they graduate college, yet no one is telling you about the grim reality of the job market once you are no longer a college student. After going through my undergraduate years, and preparing for my college graduation I sat in my dorm room with an acceptance letter from my future MBA program in New York City. Some may say, “Why go back to college after graduating from college?” Well, in the year 2008, the economy started to go into a downward spiral and a lot of students coming from college didn’t have a job. Even though I graduated three years later, the economy was still at a standstill. So, going back to college was the excuse I needed to prolong heading into the bleak job market.
Now, in the year 2015, I have graduated with my MBA and working two part-time jobs. It dawned on me about two years ago that the American education system as it pertains to college is one big game. You are expected to go to college, and get your degree; graduate and get a job. The only problem is that no one guarantees you a job, yet when that six month grace period ends, the government wants their money back. Why would they insist you go o college knowing jobs are few and far between? For me, I realized in graduate school that I could make my own luck. If you make your own luck, how come so many people don’t follow their dreams. Parents are part of the reason and fear of failure is another. We get this idea that only if I go to college I can get a high paying job and won’t have worries of paying bills. Only getting a high paying job is like applying to college all over again.
You need references, resumes, and cover letters; it’s just unfair. But the game is that going to college won’t warrant a successful life. The are statistics that show a correlation between college educated people non-college educated. The fact of the matter is, is that success is the combination of ideas you come to the table with, as well as your own consistent work. So understand next time people say if you don’t go to college, you won’t be successful. Remember that as long as you have the brains and drive, you can write your own ticket; meaning becoming your own employer.
When it comes to relationships, I have always heard from both men and women alike that her way is the right way. There has always been something about that statement which has puzzled me throughout my life. So I’ve even asked the question to various women, “Why is the woman’s way the right way?” I keep getting the same reply which is, “Our way is better.” Even men have told me it’s their way because that’s just how it is. So, I took the time out to try to understand the logic behind such statements. My reason for breaking down the logic is because women say in the same breathe how much of a challenge they need out of a man.
In trying to understand why women feel their way is better, let’s analyze a woman’s life. When a girl is in her infant stage in life through her early pre-teen years she clings close to her father. From the moment he embraces her, before she steps into general population, her feelings increases toward her caregiving father. We know this is due to the, “hormone of love” called, “Oxytocin. Now, somewhere within adolescent years, she begins to slowly stray from her father. This is due to a hormonal change, but it’s a good sign because it wouldn’t be a stable environment for a girl to grow an attraction to her father.
After leaving her parent’s house, she may be separated from her father in living quarters, but she still holds a place in her heart for him. This is important because it could be the determining factor in choosing a partner for a monogamous relationship. Now, this is where I begin to ask the question regarding a woman’s way. From the moment a relationship becomes serious enough where feelings are developed between both individuals, the her factor comes into play. The her factor which is, why must things go her way. I have come to a conclusion regarding why her way must be the way, all the while, needing her significant other to be a challenge.
In the prior paragraphs, I explained a relationship between daughter and father. Well, chances are she grew up in a house where the father was head of household, with a few jointly shared duties. Now if she grew up in a house watching her father with such authority, why must things going her way now? It’s because her father was so responsible that he was seen as the leader of the household. So now it makes sense to me; women want things to go their way because it speaks to the responsibility of men. This theory came to fruition when I heard so many women ask for challenges out of men they date. A challenge is an objection or a question of authority. Why question her authority when she’s right? This is because the woman’s why is really not the right way.
The real reason a woman’s way is the right way is because so many men do things so wrong it must be her way. Once he comes with a better way of operating that proves beneficial to the household, women are more apt to follow his lead. This is true, otherwise she wouldn’t want a challenge. There is no logic in saying challenge me, yet do things my way. She is telling you you’re doing things the wrong way by asking for a challenge. Women have so many indirect ways of communicating when allowing men to know we are being irresponsible. Should we listen or should women be more verbal? Being indirect hoping for direct reasonable responses can be viewed as confusing and a lack of communication. Remember, knowing woman is like both men and women standing on the same side of a house door. He wants to enter the house yet she is holding the key. Women want you to ask for the key, yet men want women to just hand over the key. Women’s way is figure me out in all my complexity, men’s way is finding the most simplistic measure for results.
My name is Faheem Jackson, and this is my first of many blog post. For today, I will be introducing myself to this community. For starters, I was born September 20, 1987 in Racine, Wisconsin. My earliest memories of life date back to the first grade at Jefferson Lighthouse Elementary School. It was here I began to develop so much many skills I would go on to use years after leaving this school. One example of a learning experience came about through the form of reading and writing. The teachers at the time were very insistent on everyone passing the textbook around the class and reading various passages from the book. This made me feel quite uncomfortable at the time.
It wasn’t because I didn’t know how to read because I had a mother at home who played a significant role in my education. Reading in class was nerving because the idea of mispronouncing a word, or reading too slow was always terrifying. Just the thought of skipping sentences which caused me to lose my place in a textbook or verbal fopa sent me into sheer panic mode. What helped me lose this anxiety about reading was finding out how many other students felt the same way. The teacher would say, “Who would like to volunteer to read this passage?” Everyone turned to one another in fear of reading out loud. Then the teacher would say, “Don’t make me call on someone.” This statement really caused children to sink slowly into their seats.
When no one would reply, the teacher would look through the attendance book, “Ok, uh, Faheem, you read.” Right, she had to say my name, especially with my anxiety. What’s interesting is that my reading was not as bad as I thought it would be prior to reading. These type of experiences took place over various points of my life as time progress. Another instance in life where I felt just as uncomfortable was in middle school starting school in a new environment. Feeling out of place, worrying I wouldn’t fit into my new social stratus, my first day was spent sitting at a table watching people converse with each other. This feeling proved to be more negative thinking because middle school is still to date the best experience in my life. The same discomfort was present going to a different high school as well.
After graduating high school in June of the year 2006, I went off to college in Columbia, South Carolina where I attended Benedict College; a Historically Black College and University. Yet it only lasted a semester, making me realize I missed being home. So I transferred and started January of 2007 at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Once again, anxiety and discomfort set in because I was moving into an environment where all students had built relationships. So, I wasn’t able to matriculate properly into college until the Fall of 2007, my Sophomore year in college. Now looking over my life, anxiety, fear, discomfort, and nervousness has been my life.
In my senior of college I was placed in a room with a roommate that was heavily into film. His love and admiration for cinema sparked my interest as well. So I took it upon myself to start writing my first feature length screenplay entitled, “Wood Road Revenge,” which would later become, “Retribution,” my first screenplay. At first writing screenplays was for fun, but I later realized that my anxiety and fears can be transferred to the characters I create. When I left undergraduate school, I decided to go into graduate school instead of the job market. The screenwriting continued until I graduated with my MBA in the year 2014. So far I have written five feature length screenplays and working on two books (a novel and a book of short stories), as well as completing my first short film entitled, “First Day Fears.” And surprise surprise, the film is about a child going through experiencing her first day at a new school where the students have a different ethnic, economic, and cultural background than her own.
So as you can see, my life has been mainly a life of fears and anxiety, fears and depressing moments. Writing has given me the out I have been looking for; giving me the ability to transfer the negative feelings into something positive. I feel optimistic about the future, as I continue to write, wondering what life has in store for me each and every day I awake.